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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Losing my mind over potty training my almost 4yo

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I've tried everything with him. Sitting him on it every 15 mins, which he does ok with and will pee in the potty but doesn't care. Tried pull ups, he will pee and poo in them... Even tried outside with nothing and it doesn't bother him for pee to run down his leg or go on his feet. I've tried bribery, rewards... Threats... Working with friends of his for maybe peer pressure... He doesn't care at all. I let him pick out big boy underwear and he was excited but apparently not enough. If I'm cooking dinner or something he won't even tell me when he poops, I have to check or smell it if his butt gets red. I'm losing my mind and I'm tired if people making me feel like I'm a horrible mother because of this. If I have to hear one more person tell me their kid was potty trained by 1 1/2 I'm gonna vomit.

Any tips? Ideas? Something I haven't tried?
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by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 6:31 PM
Replies (21-30):
kelly24019
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Ughhhh I'm sorry :( my son turns 4 dec. 8... I don't have any other kids but I can imagine <3 *hugs*

Quoting FarmGirl2B:

My son will turn 4 in Feb and will NOT use the potty. He was doing well at the beginning of the summer, but once he started speech therapy it was a no go. I also am at my wits end, as I have an almost 2 yr old and one due in Feb. I cannot afford 3 kids in diapers!
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kelly24019
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:04 AM
I keep telling myself I have never seen a middle schooler in diapers so it has to happen at some point lol
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doulala
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:08 AM

What's the rush?

sumannie
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:13 AM
I tried potty training our first dd when she was 1. She did good but when we had twins I just quit. Then a few months after her 3rd birthday she got it and she'll be 4 next month. Never went back to a diaper! Our twins our going to be 3 next month and our youngest dd is half way there actually. I try not to pressure her. She goes in the diaper most of the way and takes it off and goes the rest of the way and thats pooping. She pees some. Our ds just doesn't even want to try and when he feels like it I let him, all he does is sit there for a second and then pretends he went but I give him praise anyways.lol. We plan on giving them their own potties soon so maybe that will motivate them. (: Good luck mama!! I hope everything works out for you.
othermom
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:22 AM

Stop for a bit, even just a few weeks. then Try again. When you start trying make it a routine, first thing in the morning and every hours or so, after meals, before you go any where, ect. Every 15 minutes sounds like way to much.   One thing that helped my son was pocket change everytime he went then he got to go buy a toy with the money

Wendsdy
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:15 PM

If it makes you feel any better, I have a 5 year old that isn't potty trained. Yes, she does have a possible medical condition where she may have a constent leak so that just confuses things and has to wear a pull up because of that. She also uses it out of laziness so hardly ever pees in the toilet. She does poop in the toilet every time LUCKILY.  Now I have my 2 1/2 year old and I am dreading starting him because I don't want to fail again. Sorry no advice but you are not alone. Good Luck!

Brandy85412
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 7:02 PM
I think that's a great idea. Especially at 4. I also think you have to get your self to calm down about the whole thing. Going potty is one thing you just can't force. It has to be up to them. My baby sister wouldn't go poop in the potty till she was 5.

Quoting Jenner8:

Potty Training is so much fun.  I have a girl who begged for Pull-Ups, but decided to use them the same as diapers.  I'll admit I tried everything and nothing worked.  Finally I told her it was up to her, but it was her responsibility to change her own diaper if she decided not to potty... For about two weeks she had to take off her dirty diaper, throw it in the trash, wash her butt, and get her clean diaper on all by herself (yeah I cleaned her and the bathroom up more than once).  She hated having to touch a dirty diaper and started using the potty.  Good luck... and try not to worry so much, he'll figure it out eventually.  So happy to know that I'll never have to deal with that stage again!  Looking back I wouldn't have pushed so much, but oh well live and learn.

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Fyrestar68
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:21 AM
My first child, was potty trained at 18 months, I thought it would be that easy with the second...HA, jokes on me. He is now 2 years and 2 months and still in diapers...he will occassionally pee or poop in the potty, but will normally strip naked (which entails him taking off his pamper as well) and poop or pee on the floor...thank God, I don't have rugs. If I ask every 30 minutes, he is good to go...with another on the way. I was desperately trying to get him potty trained because I didn't want 2 little ones in diapers, but have come to the realization, he will go when he is ready and not a second before. I've read some of these ideas and will definitely try them, but I know that if he "gets it" it won't be for anything I've done...just that he was ready. Good luck! :-)
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Ktina11
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:33 AM
Each kid is different. I have 3 boys. Ods was sooo easy. Fully trained by 2.5. Mds (only 11 months younger) is 4.5 right now and yesterday had two poop accidents and Thursday had three pee ones. He goes weeks without an issue but then several days with problems. I stopped training him a while ago because I realized it is about control. His acidents recently are a result of not wanting to stop playing. Yds will be 3 on Dec 31 and we have tried training but it is clear he doesn't have control over his body yet. He wants to be in unders but his body isn't ready. As much as I want him out of diapers....I realize it isn't about me. You are not alone mama!!!
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msjoecool
by Crissy on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:05 AM
You aren't a horrible mother. Please don't feel that way. I don't know why potty training is such a big competition between moms. I have yet to meet a child still in diapers at high school. Children do things at their own pace. He'll get it.

DD1 turned five last Friday and she's not trained. She just recently started being aware. I am really hoping to get it done this week while school's out for Thanksgiving. If I'm lucky both girls will be in panties next week. Fingers crossed.
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