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What what you do if your 4 year old told you this about preschool???? PIOG, need opinions please

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:03 PM
  • 11 Replies

I made a post last week but I would like some more opinions.

My four year old son came home from preschool and told me that him and two other boys go in the back corner where no one else can see them and play Dr. Theres a big rock in the corner they call "the dr bed" He told me one boy got completely naked, the other boy took his shoes, socks, pants, underwear off. That's when the teacher found them! He told me he was patient number 3 so he didn't get to play yet. He said the teacher helped the other boys get dressed! He only knows one of the boys names the other one he never played with before.

Now, this was last Thursday I went to the school first thing Friday morning asking the director why I was not told about this incident since a teacher found them. She had no idea about it, the teacher never told her. I told her I thought it was inappropriate and I believe an incident report should have been written and there is no reason i should be hearing this from my 4 year old!! I know the one mother of the other boy and I told her.The teacher that found them took Friday off so she was not there. She said she would call me first thing Monday morning, by 11:00 I did not receive a call. I called at 11:45 and she said the teacher came in today not feeling well so she sent her home and she would call me tomorrow. I'm pissed she didn't even call to tell me that she didn't get a chance to talk to her or just give me a call to let me know she would ask tomorrow...I feel that this is being handled completely wrong!!! I told her my son would not be attending school until I get some explanation!

This is what I want. I want her story of what happened, an explatation of why she did not report this, I want all parents informed of her story what she saw and did, and all children talked to!!!

I'm so upset with all of this? Am I handling this wrong, should i demand more? Please give your advice and opinions on what you would do in this situation....

No bashing please Thank you

 

ETA: I'm also very concerned that he doesn't know the one boys name because my son always stays and plays with his best buddies so it's very strange that he was off with a boy he doesn't know

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jb0520
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:15 PM
Bump
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hollinicole
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:20 PM
I work at a preschool and the teacher should have let the director know about what happened then and there. And there should not be area where the teacher can not see them at all times. I would keep on her, at my school not reporting that would have got you walking papers, feeling well or not she should have been called into the office and questioned about that happend. In the mean time talk to you son about good touch bad touch and how we don't undress but with trusted people. Good luck mom
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Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:34 PM

First of all, I find it odd that they were unsupervised long enough for them to get naked and mostly naked.  Regardless of what they were actually doing, no child should be unaccounted for for that long.  I would be concerned if that play was going on at my DD's preschool and you have every right to demand an explanation.  Can you just have your son point out the other child that he was playing with and then ask the teacher his name?  Keep on them.  If you don't get an appropriate response it's time for a new preschool.  Curiosity is normal but the lack of supervision is what concerns me the most.

I agree on talking to your son about appropriate play and touch and inappropriate.  Explain that even if his friends are doing something that doesn't mean he does it when he knows it's wrong. 

Good luck.

blissfulmama80
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:59 PM

I would be upset, too.  I can't believe that teacher didn't immediately tell the director what happened.  You should have been informed that same day at pick up about the incident.  Now, it was on the teacher to speak up about it... not really the director's fault for not knowing, if she was never told.  BUT... once you called about it, she should have been on the phone with this teacher finding out what happened.  I don't care if she's sick or not, call her up and figure out what went on!!  So now the director is not handling it right, either.  I think you're right to tell them your child won't be back until they figure it out and take action on it.  What did the other parent you talk to think about it?

berlgirl1224
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:01 PM
I find it strange that you haven't done anything. We all told you when you first posted, that something needed to be done
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jb0520
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:06 PM
She was a preschool teacher herself before having kids asdnd she could not believe that the teacher didn't tell us or the director. Now today when she found out how the director was handling or not handling it for that matter she is shocked! However while she does wants answers (her son hasn't said anything to her, hes about 6 months younger than my son) she is still sending him to school....so I don't know, she acts very concerned eben I talk to her but I wouldn't be sending my kid if your son was the one telling the story...


Quoting blissfulmama80:

I would be upset, too.  I can't believe that teacher didn't immediately tell the director what happened.  You should have been informed that same day at pick up about the incident.  Now, it was on the teacher to speak up about it... not really the director's fault for not knowing, if she was never told.  BUT... once you called about it, she should have been on the phone with this teacher finding out what happened.  I don't care if she's sick or not, call her up and figure out what went on!!  So now the director is not handling it right, either.  I think you're right to tell them your child won't be back until they figure it out and take action on it.  What did the other parent you talk to think about it?


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prettymomma1204
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:19 PM

This is when it would be a good time to call child services. Explain to them what happened with the kids and the lack of supervision and they will check into it. The school will have no choice but to be responsible for what went on. That is why child services is there. They need to know this kind of thing.


corrinacs
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:49 PM

I agree with this.....I do think the teacher should have at least said something to the parents of the children involved.  ANd indeed, what is a rock doing in the way obstructing the teacher's view!  It seems like the incident wasn't nearly that bad and definitely could have been much worse!

I would def. ask the teacher her opinion, but I woudln't bash at her so harshly as you will immediately send her on the defensive.  Just let her know you know about the incident and that you are curious.  And mention that you would prefer her to tell you about these incidences when they happen.  The director should be speaking to her about how it should be policy to tell her, since that's her domian.

I hope the teahcer talks to you soon!

Quoting hollinicole:

I work at a preschool and the teacher should have let the director know about what happened then and there. And there should not be area where the teacher can not see them at all times. I would keep on her, at my school not reporting that would have got you walking papers, feeling well or not she should have been called into the office and questioned about that happend. In the mean time talk to you son about good touch bad touch and how we don't undress but with trusted people. Good luck mom



calvinsmommy18
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:53 PM
Agreed. Is this a private preschool? Is it through a school district? If so id go right up to the superintendant.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

This is when it would be a good time to call child services. Explain to them what happened with the kids and the lack of supervision and they will check into it. The school will have no choice but to be responsible for what went on. That is why child services is there. They need to know this kind of thing.


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Gweneveer
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:29 AM

bump

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