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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

I need help

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:54 PM
  • 12 Replies

My daughter is 2 (almost 3) and she has started "the terrible twos" well really she started it a long time ago, but recently she has started doing something else.  She will get so mad that she just goes crazy.  She starts attacking me physically and screaming so loud that I am sure the neighbors think I am killing her.  Tonight she was playing with the laundry baskets and kept hurting herself, so finally I took the one away that kept hurting her and she got mad and started screaming at me, well this is an issue we are trying to fix so I tried to put her in time out.  This got her started in her super fit and she started first with the shrieking and then slapping me in my face and then when I would pick her up she would start kicking my belly (I am 8 months pregnant).  I could not get her to sit in time out because every time I would turn around she would just run at me.  The only thing I could do was put her in her room and put up the baby gate so she couldn't get out.  She just sat there and screamed and then cried and then stared at me.  She honestly scares me when she starts acting like this.  I don't know what to do.  Is it normal?

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by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
taratennant37
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Sometimes my 3 year old does same thing but isn't as bad as ur 2 year old
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prettymomma1204
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:13 PM

Is she maybe reacting to changes due to the upcoming baby? Does she have enough words to really talk to you about why she is upset? It is possible she is just on edge with her feelings right now and doesn't know how to communicate them. 

ChWuGu
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:19 PM

I should have probably mentioned this in the post, but I recently started school back up and have been gone a lot.  She stays with my sister while I am in class and she has decided recently that she doesn't like it.  So I think maybe this could be part of the problem, because she seems to be happy about the new baby.  She talks a lot actually and after this event I asked her if she knew what she had done wrong and she said "I screamed and hit you" so she understands that it is wrong, but idk how to make her stop when she is in the moment, because I swear it is like she sees red and there is no reasoning with her, but she is normally a very intelligent child.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

Is she maybe reacting to changes due to the upcoming baby? Does she have enough words to really talk to you about why she is upset? It is possible she is just on edge with her feelings right now and doesn't know how to communicate them. 


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nmartin15
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:23 PM

I would just automatically put her in her room and then the gate up. This keeps you out of harms way, and your baby doesn't need the kicking. While you are placing her in there, tell her that she is going in timeout in her room until she has calmed down. Then once calm, sit down and talk to her. Make her tell you what she did wrong and explain to her that she can not hit you. Make sure you tell her you understand she was angry but that she should tell you that, not scream and hit.

Good luck!

ChWuGu
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:31 PM

Thank you :)  I am sure it is mostly the hormones but when she gets this way I just want to cry.  She is usually a good girl, she has her temper tantrums like all 2 year olds, but this is something completely different

Quoting nmartin15:

I would just automatically put her in her room and then the gate up. This keeps you out of harms way, and your baby doesn't need the kicking. While you are placing her in there, tell her that she is going in timeout in her room until she has calmed down. Then once calm, sit down and talk to her. Make her tell you what she did wrong and explain to her that she can not hit you. Make sure you tell her you understand she was angry but that she should tell you that, not scream and hit.

Good luck!


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taratennant37
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:33 PM

   I'm not pregnant sorry but yeah my 3 year old tells me what she wants and when we tell her no she gets upset and throws a temper but she gets over it....

prettymomma1204
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:37 PM

I work in a day care with 2 and 3 year olds and learned a long time ago not to try and reason with them when they are seeing red. I would just let her have her melt down and talk to her when she calms down. Otherwise you end up with a kicked belly and she feels bad for hitting you. Maybe have her go into her room during the fit or you leave the room. Time out won't do much if she is so mad she can't see straight. When she is about to get angry (you know when it's coming) tell her that she is getting angry and ask her if she would like a hug to calm down or if going to her room would help her calm down until you can talk together. Just stay calm and firm but loving and see if that helps head it off. Could be just missing Momma while you are at school and she is mad about staying with your sister. Does your sister maybe have people over that she doesn't like/know/feel comfortable with? 

Quoting ChWuGu:

I should have probably mentioned this in the post, but I recently started school back up and have been gone a lot.  She stays with my sister while I am in class and she has decided recently that she doesn't like it.  So I think maybe this could be part of the problem, because she seems to be happy about the new baby.  She talks a lot actually and after this event I asked her if she knew what she had done wrong and she said "I screamed and hit you" so she understands that it is wrong, but idk how to make her stop when she is in the moment, because I swear it is like she sees red and there is no reasoning with her, but she is normally a very intelligent child.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

Is she maybe reacting to changes due to the upcoming baby? Does she have enough words to really talk to you about why she is upset? It is possible she is just on edge with her feelings right now and doesn't know how to communicate them. 



ChWuGu
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:44 PM

I like that, I will have to try that.  When I get angry at her I hug her to make myself calm down, so maybe it would work on her too.  And as far as my sister goes, she is a stay at home Mom and sort of anti social, so the only people that are usually in her house besides her and I are her 1 year old daughter and her husband who has sort of been like a father for my daughter (her biological father wanted nothing to do with her).  But I know that my daughter and her cousin don't usually get along, they used to be besties, but now Emi (my niece) is old enough to take toys from Roo (that is my daughters nickname) and so they fight a lot now.  I have decided to take it easier next semester and spend more time with her, but right now I am in school all day and my fiance works A LOT!  This all about to change though, because he just got a better job and can quit his other job (sorry, getting off track).  But my sister is a good Mom and we have very similar child raising styles, so I know that she isn't doing anything bad when I am not around.  We are very close.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

I work in a day care with 2 and 3 year olds and learned a long time ago not to try and reason with them when they are seeing red. I would just let her have her melt down and talk to her when she calms down. Otherwise you end up with a kicked belly and she feels bad for hitting you. Maybe have her go into her room during the fit or you leave the room. Time out won't do much if she is so mad she can't see straight. When she is about to get angry (you know when it's coming) tell her that she is getting angry and ask her if she would like a hug to calm down or if going to her room would help her calm down until you can talk together. Just stay calm and firm but loving and see if that helps head it off. Could be just missing Momma while you are at school and she is mad about staying with your sister. Does your sister maybe have people over that she doesn't like/know/feel comfortable with? 

Quoting ChWuGu:

I should have probably mentioned this in the post, but I recently started school back up and have been gone a lot.  She stays with my sister while I am in class and she has decided recently that she doesn't like it.  So I think maybe this could be part of the problem, because she seems to be happy about the new baby.  She talks a lot actually and after this event I asked her if she knew what she had done wrong and she said "I screamed and hit you" so she understands that it is wrong, but idk how to make her stop when she is in the moment, because I swear it is like she sees red and there is no reasoning with her, but she is normally a very intelligent child.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

Is she maybe reacting to changes due to the upcoming baby? Does she have enough words to really talk to you about why she is upset? It is possible she is just on edge with her feelings right now and doesn't know how to communicate them. 




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prettymomma1204
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:51 PM

That's so cool that you have family around to help. And that's great about your fiance's job! Give your niece another year and they will be besties again =) Good luck with everything! 


Quoting ChWuGu:

I like that, I will have to try that.  When I get angry at her I hug her to make myself calm down, so maybe it would work on her too.  And as far as my sister goes, she is a stay at home Mom and sort of anti social, so the only people that are usually in her house besides her and I are her 1 year old daughter and her husband who has sort of been like a father for my daughter (her biological father wanted nothing to do with her).  But I know that my daughter and her cousin don't usually get along, they used to be besties, but now Emi (my niece) is old enough to take toys from Roo (that is my daughters nickname) and so they fight a lot now.  I have decided to take it easier next semester and spend more time with her, but right now I am in school all day and my fiance works A LOT!  This all about to change though, because he just got a better job and can quit his other job (sorry, getting off track).  But my sister is a good Mom and we have very similar child raising styles, so I know that she isn't doing anything bad when I am not around.  We are very close.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

I work in a day care with 2 and 3 year olds and learned a long time ago not to try and reason with them when they are seeing red. I would just let her have her melt down and talk to her when she calms down. Otherwise you end up with a kicked belly and she feels bad for hitting you. Maybe have her go into her room during the fit or you leave the room. Time out won't do much if she is so mad she can't see straight. When she is about to get angry (you know when it's coming) tell her that she is getting angry and ask her if she would like a hug to calm down or if going to her room would help her calm down until you can talk together. Just stay calm and firm but loving and see if that helps head it off. Could be just missing Momma while you are at school and she is mad about staying with your sister. Does your sister maybe have people over that she doesn't like/know/feel comfortable with? 

Quoting ChWuGu:

I should have probably mentioned this in the post, but I recently started school back up and have been gone a lot.  She stays with my sister while I am in class and she has decided recently that she doesn't like it.  So I think maybe this could be part of the problem, because she seems to be happy about the new baby.  She talks a lot actually and after this event I asked her if she knew what she had done wrong and she said "I screamed and hit you" so she understands that it is wrong, but idk how to make her stop when she is in the moment, because I swear it is like she sees red and there is no reasoning with her, but she is normally a very intelligent child.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

Is she maybe reacting to changes due to the upcoming baby? Does she have enough words to really talk to you about why she is upset? It is possible she is just on edge with her feelings right now and doesn't know how to communicate them. 





ChWuGu
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:57 PM

Thank you, and thanks for the tips.  I am going to try that next time she gets upset.  I feel like I just get eventually get frustrated and then that just makes it worse, so hopefully some of your tips will help.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

That's so cool that you have family around to help. And that's great about your fiance's job! Give your niece another year and they will be besties again =) Good luck with everything! 


Quoting ChWuGu:

I like that, I will have to try that.  When I get angry at her I hug her to make myself calm down, so maybe it would work on her too.  And as far as my sister goes, she is a stay at home Mom and sort of anti social, so the only people that are usually in her house besides her and I are her 1 year old daughter and her husband who has sort of been like a father for my daughter (her biological father wanted nothing to do with her).  But I know that my daughter and her cousin don't usually get along, they used to be besties, but now Emi (my niece) is old enough to take toys from Roo (that is my daughters nickname) and so they fight a lot now.  I have decided to take it easier next semester and spend more time with her, but right now I am in school all day and my fiance works A LOT!  This all about to change though, because he just got a better job and can quit his other job (sorry, getting off track).  But my sister is a good Mom and we have very similar child raising styles, so I know that she isn't doing anything bad when I am not around.  We are very close.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

I work in a day care with 2 and 3 year olds and learned a long time ago not to try and reason with them when they are seeing red. I would just let her have her melt down and talk to her when she calms down. Otherwise you end up with a kicked belly and she feels bad for hitting you. Maybe have her go into her room during the fit or you leave the room. Time out won't do much if she is so mad she can't see straight. When she is about to get angry (you know when it's coming) tell her that she is getting angry and ask her if she would like a hug to calm down or if going to her room would help her calm down until you can talk together. Just stay calm and firm but loving and see if that helps head it off. Could be just missing Momma while you are at school and she is mad about staying with your sister. Does your sister maybe have people over that she doesn't like/know/feel comfortable with? 

Quoting ChWuGu:

I should have probably mentioned this in the post, but I recently started school back up and have been gone a lot.  She stays with my sister while I am in class and she has decided recently that she doesn't like it.  So I think maybe this could be part of the problem, because she seems to be happy about the new baby.  She talks a lot actually and after this event I asked her if she knew what she had done wrong and she said "I screamed and hit you" so she understands that it is wrong, but idk how to make her stop when she is in the moment, because I swear it is like she sees red and there is no reasoning with her, but she is normally a very intelligent child.

Quoting prettymomma1204:

Is she maybe reacting to changes due to the upcoming baby? Does she have enough words to really talk to you about why she is upset? It is possible she is just on edge with her feelings right now and doesn't know how to communicate them. 






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