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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Yes! Another PT post but I NEED HELP!

Posted by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 6:52 PM
  • 14 Replies

POTTY TRAINING!

I wish I could talk to his ped about this because I don't know what is normal or not anymore. But alas, we don't currently see anyone (long story) -- I am looking for ALL the help and tips and advice you can give me!

PLEASE!!!! THIS MIGHT BE A BIT LONG BUT I NEED HELP!

My son is 3. We have attemped potty training twice now with no luck. The first time being last December and the next being this past summer. I don't want to put this off anymore, I don't want to end up with a 5 year old who is not trained.

I feel like I have tried everything. So I am starting back at SQUARE ONE. For him and for me. He has potty seats and he has those potty seats that sit on the big toilet. I am going to buy him a bag of goodies (dollar store treats and toys) -- more than I have before. Stickers just aren't cutting it anymore.

Ok so our number one problem is: I am sure he ENJOYS the feeling of pee.

When we first started, he did AMAZING! He got stickers every time he peed and had hundreds it was like in the first week or two. Then he just would pee in his undies and not tell anyone. Or he would, but time after time after time again he would just pee. Like he liked it!

I realized he does for sure because recently he's been getting attached to his pullups being soggy. If they get wet and I go to change him he will sometimes FREAK OUT. He screamed for an hour Thanksgiving night because he wanted his old/wet pull up back on and not a new one.

__________________________________________

So... we need to get the ball rolling. Anyone have clues or advice about his love for wetness?? Should we just try it 100 percent bare butt for a few days? HOW long? What about night time and car rides? I have kept him in pullups every time for night time but not sure I should???

I need help. Why why why is this SUCH a long and bad process for? I want it to be easy and fun! LOL!


by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 6:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ZakkarysMom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:04 PM
I dont have any advice. lol My son is the same way. He is 3.5. He doesnt care anymore if he pees his pants. And when he is in pull ups he doesnt care either. He will sit in pee and poop and not tell me. You are not alone. lol
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Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:13 PM

It's been a long and bad process because you are trying to train a child who is just not ready to be trained.  YOU have NO control over this process, as he has clearly demonstrated to you.  He is exerting his power over the situation because you want it so badly and he's getting a ton of attention over this issue.  YOU might not want a 5 year old in diapers but if you keep trying to force the issue, that's where you will be because you cannot make him use the potty but you can absolutely deter him from using it. 

Here is my suggestion:  if you haven't done so already, put him in underwear or naked for 7 days straight when you are home.  you still have to use pull-ups for sleeping because he's probably not developed enough to stay dry while sleeping.  you cannot train a child to stay dry at night so don't even worry about that now.  i also didn't want to worry about pee in the car seat so for the first 7-10 days or so i would put a diaper/pull-up on when we left the house too.  i did this until they had gotten more independent in the process.

find whatever incentive you can find and see if it's a motivator for him.  my son loved the sticker chart, M&Ms and rewards.  my daughter was happy just to get the verbal praise.  all kids have different currency, you have to find his.

take him every 30 mins, don't ask him.  don't force him because you end up back in that power struggle.  give any and all accidents as little attention as possible but go NUTS when even 1 drop makes it in the potty.

IF after 7 days he's not making progress on initiating the process he's still not ready.  back off for another couple months and reevaluate.  when you back off, you may be surprised that he'll start doing it on his own.

yayay15
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:15 PM
Don't use pull ups. Just keep underwear on him and keep on being positive and reward him. Ugh I am telling you, I know how you feel. My oldest took forever to train but last two were easy. Good luck!
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Wendsdy
by Silver Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:18 PM

Sorry, no advice. I'm one of those ones with a 5 year old that isn't potty trained. My Daughter has a possible medical condition with a constent leak they think so she has to be in pull ups. She then gets lazy and just uses them all the time. Its also confusing because she doesn't know the feeling of being dry. She does poop in the toilet LUCKILY! We did the dollar store things, the sticker charts. What I did was a sticker chart and drew lines across and down. At the end of each line was a sticker of a prize she would get.  A trip to the park (swingset sticker), a trip to the pet store to see fish (fish sticker), a trip to a restaurant (french fry sticker), a special present (sticker of a present), to the park to feed the ducks (duck sticker) . Those are just what I remember off the top of my head.  One day I had it with changing a 4 years old nasty diaper. I told her if she pooped in her diaper one more time, I would take a sticker off her chart. She did, I took a sticker and it was the last time it ever happened. The chart I did was about 10 across and she got to put a sticker in each box everytime she peed or pooped in the toilet and at the end she got whatever prize was in that last box.  Because we used a sticker to show the prize, she knew exactly what she was working towards.  I did about 10 boxes down too so 10 prizes to chose from.  Good Luck! I have a 2 1/2 year old son also and I'm dreading starting this process with him but hoping it will be easier without the medical issue :)

Gweneveer
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:30 PM
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Lose the pullups...they are counterproductive a lot of times!
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Mrs.Bolin
by Bronze Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:47 PM

 He is old enough to understand. Keep trying to stay consistant first. Do the same things everyday.Dont give up. Lose the pullups. Get big boy undies. You will have accidents but thats apart of the learning process. eventually he will hate it. My 4 yr old still wears pullups at night because she still has accidents sometimes. The stupid stickers never worked for us either.If you have a non-carpeted room and are able to, put up baby gates or shut the doors and hang out in that area for a while with the potty,books and toys.  We just stuck with a same everyday routine. and yes. bare butt is good. i even got online and bought this dvd called Potty Power. It was the only one that she would watch that actually showed kids sitting on a potty. We did the every 30 mins thing too and it did not work for her. It was crap. But all kids are different so it might work for yours

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huskermom98
by Bronze Member on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:51 PM
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I am not normally anti-pullup, but I wonder if in this case the pullups need to go.  Try the idea of him being naked (a least waist down) for several days--this is what finally made it click for my youngest--but you will need to keep using them for sleeping.  But again, don't force things or be negative because it will only backfire.

SevenKisses
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 10:48 PM

Ok, word?? I didn't get past the second sentence. I don't need morons who have NO idea what they are talking about telling me that I am doing everything wrong.

He KNOWS about the potty and peeing in the potty. As I said, he did wonderful with it in the beginning. He is 3 now and well ready. Our current problem is that he LIKES being wet. He is NOT getting a ton of attention over it either. Where did I say that? We've attempted training twice, within the past YEAR.

Moving along.

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

It's been a long and bad process because you are trying to train a child who is just not ready to be trained.  YOU have NO control over this process, as he has clearly demonstrated to you.  He is exerting his power over the situation because you want it so badly and he's getting a ton of attention over this issue.  YOU might not want a 5 year old in diapers but if you keep trying to force the issue, that's where you will be because you cannot make him use the potty but you can absolutely deter him from using it. 

Here is my suggestion:  if you haven't done so already, put him in underwear or naked for 7 days straight when you are home.  you still have to use pull-ups for sleeping because he's probably not developed enough to stay dry while sleeping.  you cannot train a child to stay dry at night so don't even worry about that now.  i also didn't want to worry about pee in the car seat so for the first 7-10 days or so i would put a diaper/pull-up on when we left the house too.  i did this until they had gotten more independent in the process.

find whatever incentive you can find and see if it's a motivator for him.  my son loved the sticker chart, M&Ms and rewards.  my daughter was happy just to get the verbal praise.  all kids have different currency, you have to find his.

take him every 30 mins, don't ask him.  don't force him because you end up back in that power struggle.  give any and all accidents as little attention as possible but go NUTS when even 1 drop makes it in the potty.

IF after 7 days he's not making progress on initiating the process he's still not ready.  back off for another couple months and reevaluate.  when you back off, you may be surprised that he'll start doing it on his own.


SevenKisses
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 10:51 PM

Thanks! I have been thinking alot that I should skip the pullups this time around. Something is telling me that he might 'get it' better if he doesn't have the 'joy' of sitting in warm pee.

I am still confused though, because he will need them at night time still? I just don't want him to think it's ok. I wish there was a way to ditch them permanently but I know that will probably mean urine covered beds for awhile lol.

Quoting yayay15:

Don't use pull ups. Just keep underwear on him and keep on being positive and reward him. Ugh I am telling you, I know how you feel. My oldest took forever to train but last two were easy. Good luck!


yayay15
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 11:05 PM
I made them go in the toilet right before bed and then I put the pull up on.

Quoting SevenKisses:

Thanks! I have been thinking alot that I should skip the pullups this time around. Something is telling me that he might 'get it' better if he doesn't have the 'joy' of sitting in warm pee.

I am still confused though, because he will need them at night time still? I just don't want him to think it's ok. I wish there was a way to ditch them permanently but I know that will probably mean urine covered beds for awhile lol.

Quoting yayay15:

Don't use pull ups. Just keep underwear on him and keep on being positive and reward him. Ugh I am telling you, I know how you feel. My oldest took forever to train but last two were easy. Good luck!


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