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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Daycare Frustration

Posted by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 1:03 PM
  • 15 Replies

My LO is 14 months.  He's been in the infant class in daycare since he was 3 months old.  They move up to the toddlers class after they're 1yr+, can walk, can eat normal food, and drink only from a sippy cup.  He's doing all of the above (has been for several months).  He's also been talking for about a month+ - and is picking up more words each day.

Recently - all the other toddlers who were in the infant class (4 total) got moved to the toddler class.  My son is the only one left behind.  There are a couple of other kids who are 1 and still in the infant class, but they aren't walking at all.  The rest of the kids in there are babies - 6mos or younger.

When I asked when my LO will move up - I was told he should be moved by the first of the year, but I didn't get any reason why he wasn't moved up with all the other kids.  His teachers say they've been pushing to get him moved over - and what I'm gathering is that it's basically an issue of room more than anything else.

I don't like that he was the only one left behind.  I also don't lik that they're basing the move off of room or other superficial issues versus a child's developmental needs.  That's a whole month+ with him in a class with basically all babies.  He's very social child and would thrive in the other room.  I'm worried him staying where he is will make him regress a little.  I also feel like the people who make the decisions at the daycare are brushing off my concerns.

I know a lot of this is the momma bear in me coming out, so am I crazy to be pretty (ok VERY) upset over this?

by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 1:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
calvinsmommy18
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 3:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 idk, i hear that some daycares consider a child an infant until 18 months, also maybe there is just not room in the other class for him? as they have to have a certain raito of child care providers to children.

Shelhead
by Michelle on Nov. 28, 2012 at 8:59 PM

I had a similar issue when my son was moving to the 2 yr old room. It was that they didn't have room for him at the time in the new room. For us it was a problem because he'd see his friends in the new room when I'd drop off and would flip out wondering why he couldnt be there. After a discussion with them, they worked the transition in a week later instead of a month later. As much as it sucks, it's not superficial that they have state laws on student to kid ratios and they have to create plans for transfers with that in mind (assuming a similar issue for you). I'd talk to them again to get a reasoning and to see if there's anything they can do to speed up the transition. Otherwise, it's just a month away.

CLEKate
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this

No, it does not sound like you have a reason to be upset.  It sounds to me like you have no idea why he wasn't moved up.  So your first step is to talk to management there to determine the reason why.  Then you can figure out if it still annoys/upsets you.

An additional month in the infant class is not going to cause your child to regress. 

You are acting like this is an insult to you and your child.  It isn't.

I'm also going to point out that making a big deal out of this at your daycare is NOT going to gain you any favors.  You really need to learn to relax about the small stuff---and this is small stuff.

And all daycares have ratios.  If there are too many kids in a room, you can't put more in there---it's against the law.  Most daycares shift kids up as they get older---when one moves on, another can move in.  It's the way it works.  As with everything in life, someone always has to be last.  This isn't a "superficial issue."

.Angelica.
by Angie on Nov. 28, 2012 at 10:14 PM
2 moms liked this

Daycares have to have a certain ratio of chilren per teachers. If the other rooms are full there simply is no way they could leagally move your child up until one of the older kids were moved to the next room. Maybe your son is more gentle with the younger babies than the ones they moved up and that is why they chose to keep him in the infant class instead of one of the others, until there is more room?

matofour
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 10:30 PM
It's probably a ratio issue. They have to wait for a space for him to go up to the other room. Is he the youngest out of the ones who were moves?
They have to follow the ratio law, a month won't harm him at all.
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prettymomma1204
by Bronze Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 11:30 PM

Consider it a compliment! =) Your son was chosen to stay behind until their was enough room in January. The caregivers are cleary not in a rush to usher him out of their nursery. This could be saying a lot about him. They may see him as a pleasant little guy and so he was chosen to stay. 

If he has been in the baby room since 3 months and is progressing every day then I would be happy he is staying put for the time being. Clearly it is a good fit for him. =)

xMamaBearx
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 11:42 PM
Crazy? Yea a bit. He is not going to regress because he is in the infant room. He is fine. Wow do you need to educate yourself on child development! There are usually free to inexpensive classes offered in most places. Lots of providers take them regularly.

Quoting LoveMommyhood12:

My LO is 14 months.  He's been in the infant class in daycare since he was 3 months old.  They move up to the toddlers class after they're 1yr+, can walk, can eat normal food, and drink only from a sippy cup.  He's doing all of the above (has been for several months).  He's also been talking for about a month+ - and is picking up more words each day.


Recently - all the other toddlers who were in the infant class (4 total) got moved to the toddler class.  My son is the only one left behind.  There are a couple of other kids who are 1 and still in the infant class, but they aren't walking at all.  The rest of the kids in there are babies - 6mos or younger.


When I asked when my LO will move up - I was told he should be moved by the first of the year, but I didn't get any reason why he wasn't moved up with all the other kids.  His teachers say they've been pushing to get him moved over - and what I'm gathering is that it's basically an issue of room more than anything else.


I don't like that he was the only one left behind.  I also don't lik that they're basing the move off of room or other superficial issues versus a child's developmental needs.  That's a whole month+ with him in a class with basically all babies.  He's very social child and would thrive in the other room.  I'm worried him staying where he is will make him regress a little.  I also feel like the people who make the decisions at the daycare are brushing off my concerns.


I know a lot of this is the momma bear in me coming out, so am I crazy to be pretty (ok VERY) upset over this?

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busymom64064
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 11:48 PM
I agree. Also kids progress differently than others.


Quoting CLEKate:

No, it does not sound like you have a reason to be upset.  It sounds to me like you have no idea why he wasn't moved up.  So your first step is to talk to management there to determine the reason why.  Then you can figure out if it still annoys/upsets you.


An additional month in the infant class is not going to cause your child to regress. 


You are acting like this is an insult to you and your child.  It isn't.


I'm also going to point out that making a big deal out of this at your daycare is NOT going to gain you any favors.  You really need to learn to relax about the small stuff---and this is small stuff.


And all daycares have ratios.  If there are too many kids in a room, you can't put more in there---it's against the law.  Most daycares shift kids up as they get older---when one moves on, another can move in.  It's the way it works.  As with everything in life, someone always has to be last.  This isn't a "superficial issue."


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mskeeinmd
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:14 AM

I think it depends on the center.  No, you're not crazy for being upset.  I would send them a letter and request a meeting to discuss your concerns.  You are a paying parent and you deserve answers.  My son is 4 and has been in daycare since he was 3 months old.  His daycare is large and moves the kids after they are 1 every 6 months.  I thought that was a little too much because my son was the last to walk, talk, roll over or do anything.  However, it worked out and my son is one of the smartest kids in his class.  Whenever, I'm upset with them, I meet with the Director, Assistant Director and owners of the daycare.  They're very open and receptive to my concerns.  I've repeatedly said, "I'm trusting you with my most valuable possession and I will never let my concerns go unheard."

My girlfriend had her son in a daycare that didn't move him along and he was left behind with his class and she's seeing the delay now.  He's in kindergarten and there are a lot of things he should know before going and he didn't get the basics from the day care or at home.  You are the person that is supposed to fight for your child.  If you don't who will?

I would suggest that you talk to the them and request answers. If you don't get answers you like or if you don't get them at all, find another place to take your son.  You don't want your child delayed in any way. Good luck!

TerriAnne2606
by Bronze Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:21 AM

I would push harder for a reason why.  It may be that they don't have the room in toddler room but he really needs to be moved up.  Good luck.

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