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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Toddler Sleeping Problems...Need Advice (UPDATE #2 in BLUE)

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:46 AM
  • 17 Replies

 My DD is two years old. She has been getting up a couple of times every night and comes into my bedroom because she wants to cuddle. Her pediatrician told me to show her tough love by closing DD's door at night and keep the baby monitor on. I feel like that if I do that and DD starts crying she won't trust me as her parent. I've heard the horror stories and haven't heard many success stories. What should I do? Waking up at least two to five times a night is starting to take it's toll on me. I don't mind cuddling with her but I'd like for her to put herself to sleep. I put music on for her at night and  put her night light on. I am at a loss for anything else I can do to help her stay in her bed/room. Any adice will be greatly appreciated.

P.S. I am a first time mom.

 

UPDATE: Hello ladies. Thank you so much for your advice. Last night was a challenge for me but I got through it. I walked DD into her room when it was bedtime and she got into her bed without a problem. She cuddled with her blanket and favorite baby doll, I hugged and kissed her good night and told her our usual little love words that we do everynight. I put on her Jewel lullaby CD and closed her door. She was fine for about five minutes and then she started to cry. She called my name but I didn't get up. I let her be for about five minutes and when she was quiet for ten minutes I listened for any noise by her door and opened it and she was fast asleep. She slept until 3 this morning when she came into my bedroom. (DF opened her door in the middle of the night and forgot to close it) I got up with her and put back her bed, I rubbed her back and sang to her and she went back to sleep so I left and closed her door again. Last night was a long night. She kept getting up and crying. I know the first night was going to be rough. Hoping for a better night tonight.

 

UPDATE #2: Well tonight was very hard. DD screamed her head off for ten straight minutes. I had to stop myself a couple of times withing those ten minutes from going in there. I finally gave in and tried to get to her calm herself down. All she wanted to lay on my arm. (She still likes skin to skin) I almost cried, I got really choked up tonight. Thank god DF was here with me because I couldn't guarantee that I would have been as strong as I was tonight without him. Anyone have any advice on how to kick the skin to skin? I didn't think she'd still be into at two years old. I don't mind it but it seems like that's the only way she will fall asleep. Wish me luck on tonight in hopes that she doesn't wake up a lot in the middle of the night.

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by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
nursejulieanne
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:04 AM

My daughter did that as well, but she had reflux and I am pretty sure that was what was waking her up. I would suggest just putting her back to bed right away. Be loving, tell her it's still night time, walk her back to her bed, give her a quick hug and kiss and tell her she needs to stay in bed, then go back to your room. The key is not to reward her for getting up. Don't cuddle for a long time, don't let her watch TV. 

It may take awhile. I was totally sleep deprived for a few years, I do know what you are going through! Hang in there, it will pass! =)

miascarlet
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:22 PM
That's a tough one. I'm a 1st time mom as well and my DD has been sleeping with us since birth she is 15months. I'm not sure myself what or when were going to try her in her own bed. So I feel for u!
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CorpCityGrl
by Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:29 PM

I have a 2 year old and we went through a phase where she was up every night and she wouldn't go back to sleep unless I cuddles with her in our room or the sofa.  She always slept in her own room though and after several weeks of us walking around like zombies, what I did was I installed a nightlight in her room and turned the radio on softly for her to sleep with.  I also keep a camera monitor in her room so I can see.  When she would wake up, I would not go in right away.  I waited for about 15~20 minutes before deciding to go in.  I found that by not going in right away, she was actually putting herself to sleep.  More often than not, my going in was not helping her at all. 

Later on, after really talking to her, we found that she definitely was going through a phase and she was having night terrors and said she was scared.  So, making a few small changes in her room helped a lot and we never had to go back in her room at night but she would put herself back to sleep if she wakes up.

PEEK05
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:15 PM

Sorry I'm not sure.  My children never did this but here is a bump.

Shelhead
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:34 PM

We went through a phase too where my son kept getting up and he also became afraid of the dark. We got one of the kid alarm clocks that turns from yellow to green at the time you set as okay for them to get up. We just explained that its important to get good sleep. Then we had already been talking about red means stop, green means go because he was always curious about the lights while driving. So I told him that when the light turns green its ok to go out of his room. I said he could get up to potty, but had to go right back to bed. He's been sleeping pretty good most nights (we still have to leave his lamp on so he doesnt freak out though) ever since and will even slee past the time the clock turns green a lot of the time. Our kids are pretty smart at this age and she knows you love her. She's just manipulating you at this point. 

1st_time_mom789
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 1:43 PM

 I have heard about that alarm clock and am having a hard time finding it. Did you have to order it or did you find it in a store? I think this is such a great idea and I'm hoping it works for her.

Quoting Shelhead:

We went through a phase too where my son kept getting up and he also became afraid of the dark. We got one of the kid alarm clocks that turns from yellow to green at the time you set as okay for them to get up. We just explained that its important to get good sleep. Then we had already been talking about red means stop, green means go because he was always curious about the lights while driving. So I told him that when the light turns green its ok to go out of his room. I said he could get up to potty, but had to go right back to bed. He's been sleeping pretty good most nights (we still have to leave his lamp on so he doesnt freak out though) ever since and will even slee past the time the clock turns green a lot of the time. Our kids are pretty smart at this age and she knows you love her. She's just manipulating you at this point. 

 

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corrinacs
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 2:18 PM

I don't know mama :/.  My children have alwasy been "nice" to me in this respect.  I let them CIO for about 10 minutes (if its that "i just want mama" fuss).  If they are in pain or hungry, its a different kind of fuss and i take care of those needs immediately.

But otherwise, if she just wants cuddles, perhaps do a "quick cuddle but go back to bed".  Reward her on nights she stays in her bed, vs gets out.

In my house, we have a genreal rule that you are allowede to get out of bed, but you have to stay in your room and be quiet.  Sometimes kids can't sleep, just like adults.  And that has really worked well for Caden, (he's 5 now).  But it also takes a lot of indepdendence on the child.  Perhaps something you could "try".

Good luck :).

PS. I don't know either way....which is worse?  A child that knows you will come saving them no matter what in the middle of the night which may or may not have any lasting effects......OR being sleep deprived for YEARS.  I like my sleep LOL.  As i said, my children were probably too easy on this arena.

samanthastaatss
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 2:49 PM

It does take some time.. She might get up as soon as you close the door and cry but you have to be persistent. Just lay her back down, give her kisses and tell her it's time to go to sleep. My daughter is two as well and now sleeps in her room with her door closed every night, good luck momma!

Shelhead
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 4:57 PM


Quoting 1st_time_mom789:

 I have heard about that alarm clock and am having a hard time finding it. Did you have to order it or did you find it in a store? I think this is such a great idea and I'm hoping it works for her.

Quoting Shelhead:

We went through a phase too where my son kept getting up and he also became afraid of the dark. We got one of the kid alarm clocks that turns from yellow to green at the time you set as okay for them to get up. We just explained that its important to get good sleep. Then we had already been talking about red means stop, green means go because he was always curious about the lights while driving. So I told him that when the light turns green its ok to go out of his room. I said he could get up to potty, but had to go right back to bed. He's been sleeping pretty good most nights (we still have to leave his lamp on so he doesnt freak out though) ever since and will even slee past the time the clock turns green a lot of the time. Our kids are pretty smart at this age and she knows you love her. She's just manipulating you at this point. 

 

I got it online from one step ahead

ETA: the teach me time one

laughnchica
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:17 PM

With ours, she was about 22-23 months we decided to get her into her own bed. We started out with her bed in our room just on the opposite wall. We did that for about a week and a half when she got used to it. Then we transitioned it into her own room. It was hard. She would scream for an hour and wear herself out and pass out. Lasted about a week and then she started being fine about. Now, at 3, she just throws the normal little fits about not wanting to go to bed in general. I think it is an important transition for kids. Doesn't mean they can't EVER sleep with you but gives them the reality that they can have their own space instead of just their parents.

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