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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

My 4 yr old is obsessed with having a boyfriend.

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My 4 yr old daughter is truly obsessed with having a boyfriend. She talks about her and a boy from school getting married. Yesterday she said he was not her boyfriend anymore that he was so&so's boyfriend. "That's why I was mean to so&so today." I told her that was not very nice and she replied "but mommy I really thought I was going to marry him" and today her teacher told me that she got very upset today after a "fight" with the boy and took both of her hands and pulled her own hair. That she had both hand full! I don't know where that reaction came from or why she is so obsessed with this boy. Can anyone give some advice?
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by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 7:04 PM
Replies (41-50):
Roo1234
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:15 PM
1 mom liked this
Have you asked her why she wants a boyfriend and what it means for her?
the only way to refocus her is to know what and why she is thinking these things.
JTriches
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:17 PM

What is she exposed to?  Change her environment ASAP!!!  Our children area blank book when born

Gabs1803
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:24 PM

I am sorry I have no idea, my daughter will be four in a few weeks and she talks about the boys where I can tell she might like one of them but she has never heard the words boyfriend or married so she doesn't say that. U should ask her to see if she knows what a boyfriend is and begin a dialog that way. She is opening a door way and you can teach her what it is you want her to know, how to be a lady/young respectable girl. Unfortunetly kids are learning fast these days and they can either learn the truth from us or learn lies from other kids and make mistakes that can be avoided.

xMamaMiax
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:26 PM

maybe if stems from the fact you think its ok to have her naked bath photo as your profile photo.  Teach her some morals.

johnnys_mom6605
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:37 PM
I have no advice :-/ My 7yo ds is very girl crazy. It's been a battle since kindergarten
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buttercup627
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:45 PM

My sd isn't quite that dramatic but she's been in love with romance since toddlerhood. Some girls just fall in love with falling in love, I don't want to blame Disney Princesses but I definately think media pushes relationships on kids. We try to promote being friends and self reliant til we're grown up. She's 7 and it's tricky, Idk what to do about a 4 year old. Good luck :)

PassionParties1
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:50 PM

Honestly, it's normal behavior.  I have 3 kids, 2 are girls, and they constantly say they have a new bf or they like someone.  When I ask about what they do as bf/gf at that age, she says "we play at recess" lol.  It's very innocent and completely normal.  Be thankful that she is telling you.

notyurmama
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Why not explain to her that boyfriends are for teenagers and tell her it's more important to find best friends right now.  Tell her boyfriends and girlfriends but best friends are there forever and are much more fun! Really hype up a best friend and how friends are never jealous of their BFFs having other friends because their friends can become your friends as well which means having even more fun! Teach her the importance of appreciating her own contributions to her school and her friends and appreciating the value of friendships over BF/GF. 

Find out why she wants a boyfriend, ask her what does she expect a boyfriend to do for her, explain to her the works she has to do when she is in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Work like:
- Helping BF with his homework
- Helping BY clean up his toys at clean up time
- Helping BF find his jacket/hat/mits after school
- Helping BF get out his snack or lunch at school and only sitting with him

If you make up chores related to being in a relationship for her she may not want a BF anymore. 

Overall find a way to put a good emphasis on other parts of her life and hope she grows out of it!

melissaanne2002
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:07 PM
My son is 4 1/2 yrs and is girl crazy he laughs and giggles when he talks about girls from school and when a Victoria secret comes on its like watching my hubby with porn! His eyes get huge and big oh smile! And says mommy those girls naked! I'm like omg they got underware on! Lmao
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jessi2girls
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:43 PM

I don't know what you tell you, my daughter is about to turn 5.. and never had or has any interest in boys, aside from just being friends. In fact I don't know any of the kids in the school in their class that act like that. 

SOO glad my dd doesn't do that though!

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