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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Thinking of Leashing My 18 Month Old...

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Whenever we go to, really anywhere, he just wants to walk on his own.  He hates being in the stroller, and hates being held when there are so many things to see.  When we try to hold him so he stays by us, he throws a temper tantrum, and we have to leave.  He doesn't stay right by us though, when we let him down.  And, he RUNS!  Are leashes a bad idea???  I feel like a bad mom...but I want him to enjoy our trips, and I want to enjoy them too.  

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Replies (31-40):
KayDziedzic
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:12 AM
2 moms liked this

You shouldn't feel like a bad mom for trying to find the best solution to keep your child both safe and happy :)

Every family's situation and every child is different. You know your family and child better than anyone else, so if you think a leash/harness in a public place is the right choice for your child, then it is. There will likely be a lot of critics who will give you a hard time, but those will be the people who are judgemental and critical of all parenting choices they don't agree with.

englebabies
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:16 AM

I use the Harness ones and I think those are the only ones you can really find anymore. Get one of the backpack ones that has the tail as the "leash". Then it doesnt feel like you are "leashing" your child just holding onto their backpack. and they are super cute. 

CLEKate
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:59 AM
1 mom liked this

IMO: You should not need a leash to keep your child safe.

If you cannot control your child when you are out in public, then you should not be taking them out in public. 

Putting a child on a leash only makes your life easier.  It does not make your child learn how to listen or how to behave.

I have 2 boys 14 months apart.  I never used a leash.  I learned how to control my boys early on.  And as a result, they learned to listen---they were forced to--they had not choice.  Sure it wasn't fun or easy to "train" them; however in the end it made life much easier and more fun for all 3 of us.

virgochild79
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:32 AM

He's your kid, if that's what you feel you need to do to keep him from running off, then do it. Sure there will be smirks and laughter but hey, at least now you have a piece of mind. Just don't yank on the leash when he still tries to run off, that right there really irritates me. You should however teach your child how to behave out in public because those leashes don't solve the problem.

nodramamama311
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:46 AM
3 moms liked this
Dislike your reply very much! You're making her sound like a bad mom, which she is not. Some kids are a little more energetic than others and there is a HUGE difference between controlling your child's bad behavior and controlling their energy. I know you said it's your opinion but its my opinion that you're wrong. When our son was about 18 months-2yrs, he too was going through that phase of not wanting to be down, as in a stroller or holding hand standing right next to me. Now depending on where we were sometimes he had to do those things of course but at places like the zoo especially the harness came in super handy and he loved "feeling free". I still watched him like a hawk and kept close but it just gave that little added comfort to me and joy to him. How is that so wrong?

Some kids are bolters, they just do and no mom is bad because she may not be able to stop them all the time. Harnesses are for safety and nothing else. Why be so down on safety and try to turn it into a parenting issue.


Quoting CLEKate:

IMO: You should not need a leash to keep your child safe.


If you cannot control your child when you are out in public, then you should not be taking them out in public. 


Putting a child on a leash only makes your life easier.  It does not make your child learn how to listen or how to behave.


I have 2 boys 14 months apart.  I never used a leash.  I learned how to control my boys early on.  And as a result, they learned to listen---they were forced to--they had not choice.  Sure it wasn't fun or easy to "train" them; however in the end it made life much easier and more fun for all 3 of us.


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savannahmom2011
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:53 AM
I plan on getting one for my daughter she hats the stroller and she is too heavy to hold for very long
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GodsAmiga
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:22 AM

I don't personally use them but I'm not against them either. :-) If you do use a leash I would say to also take the time to start teaching about parking lot and street rules, holding hands, etc. Especially since he won't be able to run away. :-) Once my kids start to walk I like to begin letting them walk when we go to the playground or to the store or things and we practice the rules. My second was a bit of a runner so I always had to be right there on top of her. However when you're on a trip or have a lot of things going on at once I can see not being able to do that. I had times when I really wished I had one. Lol! Anyways, I think it's a personal choice for each family. Do what feels best to you. :-) It doesn't make you a bad mom at all! And for sooooo many kids leashes are what works for them and the kids usually love them!

.Angelica.
by Angie on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:29 AM
I don't think they are bad. I've never used them but totally get why someone would.
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Poisongirl98
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:00 PM
3 moms liked this
Wow. You do realize that there are kids who have developmental or sensory issues that makes taking them out in public difficult,no matter how hard the parents try to "control" them? Are single parents who have children like these never allowed to go out with their kids and pay a sitter any time they needed to run errands? For some children, being in a harness would actually make them feel safer and more grounded than if they weren't. I love how people think all kids should behave the same and a parent must not being going something right if their kids are hard to control in public. Sheesh.

I'm fortunate that my kids do pretty well when out, although my son (who does have some sensory issues) can be a little impulsive at times. I have worked with many families who aren't so lucky and I know it's not for lack of trying.


Quoting CLEKate:

IMO: You should not need a leash to keep your child safe.


If you cannot control your child when you are out in public, then you should not be taking them out in public. 


Putting a child on a leash only makes your life easier.  It does not make your child learn how to listen or how to behave.


I have 2 boys 14 months apart.  I never used a leash.  I learned how to control my boys early on.  And as a result, they learned to listen---they were forced to--they had not choice.  Sure it wasn't fun or easy to "train" them; however in the end it made life much easier and more fun for all 3 of us.


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kimber2465
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:29 PM

no.you are doing what you need to do to keep your child safe. they have lots of cute ones out there. my grandson has the winnie pooh one.. we have used a handfull of times when we go to super busy places. i could care less what others think.

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