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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

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How do you feel about spanking your child, should parents do it. What do you consider going over board? And what would be a reason to actually spank the child?

I for one think sometimes a spanking is in order, but only a swat on the butt at most. I mostly just do time outs but some people think I should spank more often.  


this is Kiley and my unborn son Alexander. 

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:07 PM
Replies (31-40):
KayDziedzic
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:51 AM

I follow the American College of Pediatricians guidelines for spanking. (The website is acpeds.org but my computer's running slow and I'm unable to link it. Their guidelines for spanking as a form of punishment can be found in Position Statements in the Parenting category, if memory serves.)

IMO, the most important rule with spanking is that if you are not in control of your temper (if you're raising your voice, stomping, slamming doors, throwing things, etc.), you should not be spanking your child. Second most important: Telling your child both before and after spanking why they are getting/got a spanking. Third: Don't do it in the middle of the store. Spanking is a means of punishment to be used when other forms of punishment for a repeated offence have been administed and repeatedly failed. Spanking should not be used to humiliate a child, which is why it should not be carried out in the middle of a public place.

Spanking is not appropriate for every child or every situation, and the person best able to determine it's appropriateness for a child is that child's parent.

*I do not agree with all of ACP's positions. This one, I do agree with, and was unwittingly following before I was directed to this resource.

.Angelica.
by Angie on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:11 AM

i'm not against spanking but would rather not do it.

momtotwo08
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:32 AM
Quoting Luvmy2babies22:


I have never pulled their pants down and popped them, I never could. You're right I do give way too many warnings. I guess I do it in hopes that they will listen. Last week while shopping they were being horrible in the store so I left the buggy there and we left. I had planned on taking them to the park but I took that away as punishment. I'm trying to reinforce time outs more but the problem with that is that it doesn't phase them. They get out and do the same things again. I'm at sahm and my dh works 99% of the time so I pretty much raise them alone.
piwife
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:33 AM
I spank my kids. I don't need to explain why. is a parental choice.
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danielita77
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:27 AM
I only spank when the verbal warnings are getting no where. It's just a swat on the butt. Hurts feelings more than anything. My oldest grew up to be very respectful. She never talked back to me or ever shouted at me. She's 19 now and so very loving and affectionate. my 2 year old daughter is learning quick but she's a little more stubborn.
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Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:25 AM
Timeouts don't always work. I like what you did for the store situation: you cant behave in public, fine we go home. That's a direct and natural consequence to their behavior. There is a great book called Love and Logic that you can get from the library. I had a copy on hold but forgot to pick it up in time. I'm looking forward to reading it because its the philosophy our son's school uses and I've heard great things about it. I'm sorry your husband is gone a lot. I bet that gets really hard.


Quoting momtotwo08:

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:


I have never pulled their pants down and popped them, I never could. You're right I do give way too many warnings. I guess I do it in hopes that they will listen. Last week while shopping they were being horrible in the store so I left the buggy there and we left. I had planned on taking them to the park but I took that away as punishment. I'm trying to reinforce time outs more but the problem with that is that it doesn't phase them. They get out and do the same things again. I'm at sahm and my dh works 99% of the time so I pretty much raise them alone.

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So_Devious20
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:28 AM
I only do "time outs" when dd is having a fit. I send her to her room for a nap. I do a stern talking any other time. I don't really spank either unless she is doing the same thing as she had a stern talking for. Spanking is rare around here.
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momtotwo08
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:46 AM
Quoting Luvmy2babies22:


Thanks, I will definately call the library and see if they have that book!!
witchybabymomma
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:16 PM

 I have people tell me I let my son get away with too much but hey he's my kid they can get over it. I do swats if he repeatedly keeps doing the same thing and won't stop after being told several times, but most often redirection works fine with him.

sweetone44_2004
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:28 PM

I give my dd about 3 chances to stop and lower her voice or stop and listen before I spank. I'll tell her "If you dont listen, you're going to get a spanking." That normally fixes the problem lol.

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