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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

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How do you feel about spanking your child, should parents do it. What do you consider going over board? And what would be a reason to actually spank the child?

I for one think sometimes a spanking is in order, but only a swat on the butt at most. I mostly just do time outs but some people think I should spank more often.  


this is Kiley and my unborn son Alexander. 

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:07 PM
Replies (41-50):
popomill
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:29 PM

I spank, not as much as I used to. When he was younger, like 3, and he did something bad he would get his warning, and depending on what it was a spanking too. Now that he is older I don't really need to spank him. I tell him he's going to get spanked if he's being bad and he believes me. Lately he's been forgetting that I spank, and how much it hurts, so I've had to spank a little more often in the past couple of months, he's almost 5 now.

Marti123
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:02 PM
I think inflicting physical pain and/or humiliation is an effective behavior modification technique. It works for domesticated animals, and most children. I even believe children that are spanked are better behaved, obedient children.

It is WRONG for our family because ultimately a well-behaved child is not my first priority (although I do demand kindness & respect), my goal is to raise a successful adult WITH SELF-CONTROL.
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Kris_PBG
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:03 PM

We don't spank.

We parent effectively without doing so.

bloomsr
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't hit people who are the same size as me so why would I ever hit someone who is much smaller than me? To me, spanking is such an abuse of power and absolutely unnecessary- always, 100% of the time, in any and every scenario.

I have 3 kids, 5 yo, 2 1/2 yo and 10 months. I do get overwhelmed sometimes but I do not ever spank. I receive comments very often on how well behaved my children are and how well they listen.
mommamaggi
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:28 PM

I don't judge others for spanking, but I don't like to spank. 

Think about it; daycare providers deal with several small children all day every day and they never spank them but still manage to get them to behave reasonably... why can't parents do the same?

kewi86
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:08 AM

I think that it depends on the situation.  If the situation don't call for it then the parent should use alternative methods that will both discipline as well as shape the child in a positve matter.  It's easy said than done.  I don't feel that spanking fix everything because eventually spanking won't work for when it's really needed.   I think that you're doing a great job and you shouldn't change what you're doing.  You would know when it's necessary and when it's not.

momof2ex1
by Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:10 AM
I prefer time outs. I've not needed to Spank my kids.. I've swatted my oldest in the past but my little one (5) has not ever needed it. He is so sensitive that a stern voice and time out usually breaks his heart enough.
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AutymsMommy
by Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:15 AM
Hmm. On that note, most of the parents at my dd's old private school NEVER spanked and were firmly anti spank... when was the last time you heard of a private school shooting?


Quoting 2boys9yrsapart:

I spank when needed, I try to give chance after chance after chance first. I believe to each their own. But in all reality I probably need to be more harsh with my boys because the world will be. OAN has anyone else noticed that since people stopped disciplining their kids that mass shootings and violence of that sort has sky rocketed? The fear of a parents wrath used to be enough to keep kids in line but that no longer exists.

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Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:11 AM

What study was that?  

We had neighbors that used corporal punishment with all 5 of their kids.  Their youngest is in his early 40s now to give you a time reference.  4 of their 5 kids ended up in prison as completely useless members of society.  My parents never spanked us and all 4 of us are contributing members of society.  

The issue is many people who turn to violence aren't being parented at all.  It's not a spanking/fear issue, it's a lack of guidance issue.

Quoting 2boys9yrsapart:

I spank when needed, I try to give chance after chance after chance first. I believe to each their own. But in all reality I probably need to be more harsh with my boys because the world will be. OAN has anyone else noticed that since people stopped disciplining their kids that mass shootings and violence of that sort has sky rocketed? The fear of a parents wrath used to be enough to keep kids in line but that no longer exists.


mommamaggi
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:28 AM

This exactly!
My siblings and I were all spanked as children, our parents raised two drug addicts and habitual "danger-dater". Hell, when we turned 17 and moved out, each one of us was actually givin our whoopin belt (dad had 3 rodeo belts he used for spanking, one for each of us) to remind us to "raise our kids right". I still have mine, it hangs in my room as a reminder to never strike my children... we didn't respect our parents, we feared them, and comforted ourselves with drugs and one abusive relationship after the other as we got older. My sister does what I did for years, she dates men who can "put her in her place", men who will use violence to make her behave in the manner they see fit. "ehh heh heh, I was spanked as a kid, and I turned out alright" bullshit.

My brother spanks his kids with the same belt daddy used on him and they are already getting into a ton of trouble, and they haven't even hit double diget ages yet. They lie, steal and fight in school. Anyone who thinks there isn't a connection is blind or crazy.

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

What study was that?  

We had neighbors that used corporal punishment with all 5 of their kids.  Their youngest is in his early 40s now to give you a time reference.  4 of their 5 kids ended up in prison as completely useless members of society.  My parents never spanked us and all 4 of us are contributing members of society.  

The issue is many people who turn to violence aren't being parented at all.  It's not a spanking/fear issue, it's a lack of guidance issue.

Quoting 2boys9yrsapart:

I spank when needed, I try to give chance after chance after chance first. I believe to each their own. But in all reality I probably need to be more harsh with my boys because the world will be. OAN has anyone else noticed that since people stopped disciplining their kids that mass shootings and violence of that sort has sky rocketed? The fear of a parents wrath used to be enough to keep kids in line but that no longer exists.



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