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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

My 3 year old daughter is completely fine going to the potty during the day, but at night she pees the bed every time. We have even tried limiting her drinks before bedtime. Right now we have resorted to wearing pullups on her at night because she doesn't wake up after she does it either and we don't want her laying in her pee! Her matteress has a plastic cover on it, so I don't worry about that as much. Someone told me that wearing the pullups on her is encouraging it and as long as she is not making a big mess and making herself completely uncomfortable she will do it for as long as she can get away with it. That sounds a bit harsh to me, and I really don't see letting her sleep in her wet bed!

Who has dealt with this, and how did you deal with it?

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:59 PM
Replies (71-80):
3KidsOneMom
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:27 PM

My oldest is 6 and within the last year she has stopped wetting the bed. My 4 year old still wets the bed maybe 1-2 times a month. It takes time.

JoyJoy
by Joy on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:38 PM

its normal. specially at 3. my 8 year old daughter still wets the bed some nights. it runs in my family.

momma0ffive
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:58 PM
actually its not much different digitally if an older child is emotionally younger.... but thanks for your input

op be consistent maybe give her an incentive like a star or sticker chart


Quoting Ktina11:

3.5 and 8 are VERY different with regards to potty issues. Glad it worked for your neice but for this 3.5 yr old it is completely normal to not wake up to urinate.




Quoting momma0ffive:

something is lacking in her life. my niece who lives with me is eight and was doing the same thing... we just set up a consistent routine... same bedtime every night limited drinks after 6pm..... and now she rarely had an issue


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ShhhItsASecret
by Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:08 PM
My dd is 4, she has to wear pull ups to bed too. She had a plastic sheet, but kids tore it up. I guess I could see how it encourages them, she won't take her wet pull up off herself. I have to tell her to.. I asked her why she doesnt do it, she said she didn't know it was wet. Idk, but we will stick with pull ups for now.
jessi2girls
by Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:13 PM

We put the potty in her bedroom.. and woke her up two times a night to use it (and of course made sure she went before bed, and as soon as we woke her up in the morning)..

We started this the week after we successfully completely potty training in the day, and in the 2 years since, she's only had 5 accidents all together (3 during the day, 2 at night). 

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:24 PM

Ha!!!  You are right, actually, something is lacking in her life...it's called maturity :)  How much control do you have over your body when you are asleep?  There's no difference here.  You may think you had the magic cure to your niece's bedwetting issues but I hate to break it to you, it was all her.  If her body doesn't get a signal to wake up, she's going to wet the bed no matter what her pre-bed routine is.  The fact that she can now wake up is because her body has matured in that way.  Some kids get there at 2, some get there at 10 or later.  It just is what it is.

Quoting momma0ffive:

something is lacking in her life. my niece who lives with me is eight and was doing the same thing... we just set up a consistent routine... same bedtime every night limited drinks after 6pm..... and now she rarely had an issue


momma0ffive
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:28 PM
ok, you're the "expert" how many kids have u potty trained exactly


Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

Ha!!!  You are right, actually, something is lacking in her life...it's called maturity :)  How much control do you have over your body when you are asleep?  There's no difference here.  You may think you had the magic cure to your niece's bedwetting issues but I hate to break it to you, it was all her.  If her body doesn't get a signal to wake up, she's going to wet the bed no matter what her pre-bed routine is.  The fact that she can now wake up is because her body has matured in that way.  Some kids get there at 2, some get there at 10 or later.  It just is what it is.


Quoting momma0ffive:

something is lacking in her life. my niece who lives with me is eight and was doing the same thing... we just set up a consistent routine... same bedtime every night limited drinks after 6pm..... and now she rarely had an issue



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AmiJanell
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:39 PM

My son is almost 4 1/2 and isn't anywhere near being night trained... he's been potty trained during the days since he was 2 1/2... but still wets every single night... we don't care, we just put him in a pull up.  A couple of times we have forgotten to put one on him and he doesn't wake up when he's wet either... he'll sleep soundly covered from head to toe in pee (BLECK!!!)  We figure it will happen when he's ready...

 

miss_AP
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:41 PM

My dd6 saw a pediatric urologist for 2 years a couple years ago. This is what she told us. Staying dry through the night is BIOLOGICAL and NOT MENTAL at this age. The bladder is not fully developed until about 7 years old. Some kids can't recognize their bladder is full enough to wake up until they are much much older, and until its fully developed many kids' bladders can't make it a long time without voiding. Wear pullups or goodnights until she is dry through the night consistently. This urologist, and her partner, don't even consider night wetting a problem until around 2nd grade because it is physically very normal. She advised we just wait it out, kids grow at all different rates just like getting teeth, losing teeth, height, weight, when they get hair....its different for every kid and you can't do anything about it. 

Now, her advice for when we needed to be concerned. 1) if she gets to be around 2nd grade and is still wetting consistently or 2) if she is dry for months and months and months and spontaneously starts wetting again. The latter is usually a sign of something emotionally going on in the child's life....a move, marriage, divorce, new siblings, and often is just corrected with some time and encouragement. The former is almost always (that she had seen) a physical issue that needs correcting or modification, or sometimes a physical + emotional that go together. She did say that she found that kids that were ridiculed or judged for wetting, or had negative emotional ties to night wetting tended to wet for longer and had some esteem issues since they were judging themselves for not being able to control something completely out of their control.


From a personal experience perspective....my DD6 still wears "nap panties" to bed at night. These are cloth training pants. We just moved her to these from pullups when she turned 6 because she had been dry in her pullup for a couple months. She has done really well. She is on the top bunk in a twin, which is harder to sheet-change than a darn crib, so I won't let her go without. She has only completely wet through these once, but there are a few nights she gets a few dribbles when she doesn't quite wake up in time. She likes them better, but she doesn't know any different so if they are all in the wash and I tell her to put on a pullup she's fine with that. After dealing with her potty issues, we are very open about potties and very....lazy. I have seen a noticeable improvement after seeing hte urologist just from me being not stresssed out and anxious about it so I don't project that to her. She is upset when she wets, but I tell her its not a big deal, it happens, and we'll take care of it. If its close to morning or right after she goes to bed she has to help me change the sheets. If its in the middle of the night she doesn't, she's tired nad that just seems mean to me. She didn't do it on purpose and would rather not have done it. 

For history....she trained early, was completely day/nap trained by just over 2. She just did it, I didn't really push her much. Turns out she overdeveloped her hammock muscles. It was very circular, but essentially that was caused by constipation, and caused her constipation.....so they fed off one another. Her hammock muscles were so overdeveloped she was unable to completely release and her bladder would contract to void and it would cause painful muscle spasms and she would just cry and cry when she pottied. She started not making it through naps, some small accidents during the day. Because of the pain and muscle issue she was not able to fully void, so she had a 90% full bladder all the time. No wonder she had troubles. We got that cleared up, we started being very lazy about pottying and stopped even any sighs or anything when we had to deal with it and her physical issues and her attitude improved. This is apparently VERY common and the urologist said she nnormally doesn't see these kids until WAY late. She was glad we had brought her in at 3ish.....we spent about 20 months going to see her and doing different things and now she has no problems. The urologist said she sees this WAY more often in girls that train too early. The girls that don't train until 3 or 4 seem to have fewer problems, though of course that is just her observation. She did say she has seen a lot of EC girls for this though. really it probably works out the same and isn't dependant on age of training, that's just what she's seen, but I thought it was interesting. She was frustrated because potty training is not a milestone, sort of like the next carseat, and she was just really passionate about kids feeling badly about something biological. I once posted an article in this forum, probably a year or so ago....I'll have to see if I can find it for you.

PM me if you want to rant or advice....we've been through it ALL!!! I would say relax, chill, use pullups or goodnights as long as you can, and stop worrying. She will grow :) GL mama!

nikkikry
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 2:53 PM

Don't listen to that person. Our DD is turning 5 this week and has been daytime trained since she was 2. She wets the bed at least one night a week. For about a year we let her sleep in underpants and she would still pee and wake up crying. We finally switched her to GoodNights a few weeks ago so that we're not constantly washing sheets. It's just a matter of waiting until their bodies are ready.

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