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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Advice Needed: HITTING TODDLER! HELP!

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:49 AM
  • 4 Replies

We have an 18th month old son. Our first and only bundle of joy! He is amazing and has a great personality but he has started hitting everyone when he gets upset and sometimes just b/c, including our family dog. We have tried grabbing his hands and telling him that hurts others, we have done time out, we have just now tried spanking but nothing seems to work. Any advice?

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:49 AM
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Replies (1-4):
rjsmommy214
by Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:51 AM

I need to know too my almost 3 year old is still hitting. Nothing seems to work. I'm consistent with time outs, I've even gotten desperate to the point I've tried a smack on the bottom and he literally laughs at it.

rHOPEb
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 11:21 AM

I am a firm believer of spaking, HOWEVER.....when a child is hitting giving a spaking will only reinforce that hitting is okay.  :(  You will need to keep trying different methods to see what will work and be consistant.  Yes, its tendious and time consuming and just flat out tiring.  But if you don't nip it now then it will continue to be an issue.

When he hits, put his hands by his sides and look him in the eyes and give him a firm "NO".  Tell him why then put in corner for 2min.  When he gets out talk again why he was in trouble.  Keep doing for each time he hits.  If it continues start taking toys/priveledges away.  It will take time.  I'm so sorry!  If at all possible try to stop it before it starts.  See what triggers his anger.  Many times at this age that is the only way they can communicate b/c their vocabulary isn't devolped completely yet.  Be patient, firm, and loving.

rHOPEb
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 11:22 AM

There are some parents who take ALL toys away and will give one toy back for good behavior.......

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 11:55 AM
Taking toys away for this will be ineffective at his age. He is way too young to make that connection and it's a totally unrelated consequence so it'll be wasted effort. However, if he throws a toy or hits with a toy, he should lose that toy immediately.

Also, as stated by PP, spanking will send mixed messages.

When our kids tried to hit we would grab their hand before the hit landed, get down on their level, look them in the eye and say "we do NOT hit. Ouchies." And then walk away giving the behavior no more attention. If they actually hit us then they went to their crib at that age. Then when we went to get them we would say "mommy put you in your crib for hitting. We don't hit, we do gentle touches." Then I would use their hand to show gentle touches.

Positive redirection when you can and praise a lot when he reacts appropriately to a situation. He's young with very limited impulse control and language skills. There is no quick fix, just patience, consistency and time.
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