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How do you deal with strangers gawking when your child has a public meltdown?

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 10:54 PM
  • 46 Replies

My daughter is 4 yrs old and still has tantrums and public meltdowns that include crying, yelling and even screaming. Wee went on our first real vacation to Monteray,CA. where we stayed overnight at a hotel and it was special but laced with reality when her tantrusms et in. She is naturally an agressive child and preschool and discipline is our attempt to curb it but it doenst always work. Anyways a lot of times people would look at us as we walked by, with my daughter sitting on ehr dad's shoulders and sobbing. Some looked right at me and glared at me as thouugh b/c I'm the mother I'm automatically at fault. People of all ages, with and without childlren with them, glared. Not eveyrbody butu a lot. As if they'd never seen a kid throw a tantrum. I dont understand why when there's so much more to look at with all the antique shops and ships etc they'd choose to look at a 4 year-old and her parents having a hard time. It doesn't help the child or the parents and it's rude. What do you do? Why do you think they do this? Do you ever experience this?

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 10:54 PM
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by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 10:57 PM

I wouldn't do anything and the wish I had,

 One day my son got frustrated in kohls over shoes, he started having a fit and some women told him to shhh. I wish I had told her not to include herself in my parenting but I just looked at her shocked, which I am sure she didn't notice bc normal people don't tell your kids to hush.

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:16 PM

my kid is 3 she rarely has meltdowns in public she knows we'll leave

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:19 PM
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OMG one day my son laid in the middle of targets floor crying, I forgot about what...I sat down and watched him...some old lady asked me if she could run over him and then preceeded yell at him to stop crying...I jumped up told her look lady I am his mom not you, DO NOT yell at my son she told me that I am not raising him right and  I needed to get him a toy so he would stop crying...I told her I am raising him CORRECTLY, yes I corrected her whilst yelling at her and she cna f*uck herself and leave my store, (yes I work at this Target)...needless to say she left and my son DID NOT get a toy, but a long lecture and his room without movies for a long time!

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 1:49 AM
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 Remember that you see in others what you expect to see.  Some of the "glares" are actually people who have been there themselves and are trying to send you support. 

by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 1:49 AM

IGNORE--It was kind of funny because I was at a grocery store and this lady's little girl was throwing a fit and it just made me miss my little spitfire.  I almost went up to her and simply told her "dont worry about it, we have all been there at one point in our lives."

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:44 AM

Exactly.  All I have to do is remind her if she is going to behave that way and start down that path we are going home.  Stops her in her tracks.  I don't allow tantrums either in public or at home.  I don't stare at others but I do my best to get away from them because I surely don't want to listen to someone elses child throwing a hissy fit.  I must admit I get a kick out of you thinking its rude for people to stare but not rude for you to subject eveyone to your out of control child.  4th child and never had those issues more than once.

Quoting mariesmama:

my kid is 3 she rarely has meltdowns in public she knows we'll leave

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:49 AM

I ignore them and deal with the tantrum. I think it's normal for people to react and look when they hear crying and screaming in public. My 5 year old son hasn't thrown a public tantrum in a long time, when he did, we gave him one warning and then took him out of where ever we were, so others don't have to listen, and put him in timeout until he was done, than when he was calm we had a talk about why that behavior isn't acceptable and what he should do instead when he's upset, and then we went back about our business. 

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:04 AM
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I have experienced that, and I simply ignore it. When I see it, I also ignore it. I just think to myself in my head, "Awwwww. Someone is unhappy." That's about the extent of it for me. I don't know the circumstances in which a child has a tantrum. So, it is not my place or anyone else's to judge a parent when they see a kid having a fit. The kid could be tired, hungry, or have special needs, and that is why they are acting that way. It is not always because a kid is just being a brat. Even if the kids IS a brat, those parents need a minute or two to work with that kid or do what they need to do to get the kid to stop. Children are not like light switches. They don't turn on and off that fast. 

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:06 AM
Ask if they wanna be next?

She usually only melts down around nap time and we stay home- but I have been known to make her cry by getting on to her.
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by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:09 AM
When my oldest would have a meltdown I would stop what I was doing, and stand in front of her and ignore the tantrum, and smile at everyone as the walked by and stared. Usually the for was over something pity and i would finish what I was doing when dd would stop, only lasted a few tries then dd got bored.
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