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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Giving in to tantrums?

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:52 PM
  • 6 Replies

So I never really give in to my daughter tantrums, but what upsets me the most is when I say no...she runs off to someone else and asks and they give it to her. All my disciplining goes out the window. As many times I tell people to back off and let me do my job as her mother, she's going to be 3 in April and she'sonly getting smarter but no they just insist on making it ten times harder then what it needs to be. Mostly this problem involves my mother. Adriana loves her nana but my mother just gives her whatever she wants and when it's time for my mother to put her foot down, Adriana doesn't listen or respect her. Of course not! She knows your going to give her whatever she wants eventually. Does anyone else have this problem?? I don't want my daughter growing up and not respecting my answer because she knows she's going to get it anyways... 

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:52 PM
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Replies (1-6):
MrsApple
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:56 PM
2 moms liked this

That's when you go and remove your daughter from the whole situation.If they've already given her what she wanted,remove it while telling her,"mommy said no".If the adults give you lip say,"I told her no".Don't argue,just stay firm.Tell them if they can't respect you as a parent then your daughter won't be spending much time with them.Hopefully you really can teach old dogs new tricks :)

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 11:01 PM

Yep, absolutely this!

It's your daughter you don't owe them any explanation.  If they don't respect your parenting then you need to limit your exposure to them.  I would never allow anyone to undermine my parenting, I don't care who it is or how much they love my child.  Love isn't giving into emotional blackmail.  Love is teaching kids right from wrong and setting them up for success in the real world.  Love is NOT giving in because it's easier.  Love is NOT giving in because it makes you the hero from big bad mommy/daddy.  Raising a kid the right way is tough and messy and you need support, not sabotage.

Quoting MrsApple:

That's when you go and remove your daughter from the whole situation.If they've already given her what she wanted,remove it while telling her,"mommy said no".If the adults give you lip say,"I told her no".Don't argue,just stay firm.Tell them if they can't respect you as a parent then your daughter won't be spending much time with them.Hopefully you really can teach old dogs new tricks :)


harream
by Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Have the same problem with my in-laws. as a result they don't babysit the kids and the kids have never spent a night there. I have talked to her and my husband has talked to her and it took almost 5yrs but its getting better. Although she does say they miss the kids and don't get to see them enough - the road goes both ways - and I know they love them but when we get home and I have to deal with tantrums and "not fair" when we get home then it's not worth it and stress me out!!!

When our kids do that they not only lose whatever they asked for they also get a time out (or whatever works best at the time and place) for going and asking after being told no. We had to start asking "what did mommy/daddy say?" cause our oldest learned it at grandma's and tried to push the same thing at home.

Good luck and when she gets a little older she'll know better if its taken care of now. And like the others said, stand up to the adults that do it and encourge it to.

mommybellygirl
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 11:02 AM

My mother and mother in law were the same but over time it got better. You just have to stand your ground even if that means embarrassing your mother.

PEEK05
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 11:34 AM

Sorry no :( My mom has only done that if she didn't know she was in trouble or didn't hear me disciplining for something. She'd never go above my authority on purpose.  I'd be upset with mom for sure. :(

corrinacs
by Platinum Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 1:46 PM

YES.  Just imagine that's your "partner in crime"......DH :/.  It's making disciplining our children really hard :/.

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