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I think my daughter doesn't know how to poop!

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:52 PM
  • 9 Replies

I have read a ton of books on potty training.  According to the books, I need to wait for my child to show all the readiness signs before starting.  This is how my elder daughter has gotten to be five and not potty trained.  She'll never be ready according to the signs.  Sigh.

We've been doing the naked method for about five days or so.  Jessie knows how to pee in the potty.  She can pee in the potty.  She will even initiate and take herself to the potty.  Unfortunately, if she's wearing any clothing, she just pees on herself.  And doesn't care that she's wet and unpleasant.

What's worse is pooping.  She's never had any poop consistency from amount to timing to texture.  Her pediatrician told me to give her Miralax for constipation.  OK.  I need to adjust the amount, but I think we'll get good poop.  The problem is she doesn't seem to know she's pooping until it's all over her.  If she manages to get on the potty, she cannot finish pooping.  I don't think she knows how.

I don't know if her issues are related to laziness stemming from going in her pants whenever and wherever for five years.  Her issues may be related to the many delays, disorders, syndromes, etc. that she has.

I don't know what to do.  I am so frustrated and have no more patience for it.  I am tired of poop all over the carpet and the child.  Rewards don't work.  Bribes don't work.  Explaining doesn't work.  Getting angry doesn't work.  

Help!  I can't be the only one going through this. 

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by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:52 PM
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by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:58 PM
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My daughter will be 3 in April and she is the same way. She holds her poop in because I think she is uncomfortable with the feeling of pooping, when I start walking towards to to take her to the potty and says no mommy and runs away. my daughter makes herself constipated and I don't understand why! My daughter only tells me she has to do pee after she has already done it. I've asked the doctor millions of times and they all tell me the same, she'll learn when she's ready. It's so frustrating!!!

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 11:05 PM
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I personally don't think it's her being lazy or anything like that, but at 5 to not care about being wet, it sounds like it does have something to do with her delays, disorders, etc. That she has. Does she have sensory processing issues? It sounds like she has decreased body awareness, both in recognizing internal body cues about needing to go and external input, such as recognizing when she's wet. Does she get OT? If so, he/she may be able to help.
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by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:45 AM
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My ds wouldn't poop for anything. He is almost 4 and I finally just broke down and said he will go to school in diapers. Miralax worked once I got the dosage correct and after two weeks he was fine. One weekend I took the potty everywhere we went. Outside, to my mom's, everywhere. When we were home, just shirt and underwear. Everytime he had an accident I would clean him up, say it will be ok, and put on another pair of underwear. My BIL thought I was crazy for having a potty in the den. So be it! I would keep working with the Miralax and try putting her on a schedule. Every hour and a half, we went to the potty. We used the timer from the pull-up website. If she has sensory delay issues, there are occupational therapists that your pedi should be able to recommend to you. GOOD LUCK!!!

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:03 AM
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my son had issues with poop and fiber gummies helped but i'm not sure what to do in your situation.

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:08 AM

Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you all.  I don't feel so alone.  =)  I have to get the Miralax dose worked out.  I'm thinking maybe half a teaspoon a day? Angelica, Emily would eat the fiber gummies, but Jessie wouldn't.  sigh.

She is supposed to start occupational therapy at school soon.  I don't know if they'll work on this or not.  We went to one OT appointment, but I wasn't happy.  I'm waiting on one thing that should have happened before we adopted her three years ago to come through, and then I'm going with the place that does all the therapies for Emily's bio-baby sister (adopted by a different family). She gets speech therapy at school now.

Yes, sensory processing is part of her problem.  She's also a bit on the autism spectrum, but her neuropsychologist said not to focus on it because she has more pressing issues to worry about. 

And now for the good news...

Today was so much better. Yesterday was so bad and today was awesome!

I did not hassle her about getting out of her nighttime pull-up to potty. I did not have the strength, will, desire, to deal with it after yesterday. She decided on her own that she wanted to sit on the potty. She pulled down her pants and went POOP! She pooped on the potty. Without prodding. And then she did it again. I set the timer, but she always did it on her own. I threw one pair of panties away because poop happened faster than she got to the potty, but she still pooped in the potty. She stayed dry during quiet time. 

I brought the froggy potty with us to run errands. They tried to potty before we went in to Sprouts. They pottied before we went in Target. Then Jessie let me know she needed to go in Target. Emmy wet, but that was a mommy fail for not going sooner. They pottied when we left Target. They pottied when we left Aldi. 

When Jessie went potty before putting on her nighttime pull-up, she pooped in the potty. She is awesome!

Emily was a booger, but I coerced her to sit on the potty before bed and she peed a gallon. I swear that child is a camel and holds it forever.

Fingers crossed that tomorrow is even better. She may go back to school in panties yet!  

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 12:58 AM

Have you been pushing the potty trainging with her? Because it's not uncommon for parents to do, and that can place stress on kids. Also if your daughter has spd then it's going to take her sometime to get used to all this. My friends daughter is 8, and just know pooping normaly. I would continue with the naked training, but just start putting her on the potty every hour or so to poop. Eventually she will be able to reconize when she needs to go poo poo.

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:02 AM
I'm reading all of this and thinking, " this what I have to look forward to???"

My LO isn't quite 2 yet.
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by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:05 AM

Quoting ATL958:

I'm reading all of this and thinking, " this what I have to look forward to???"

My LO isn't quite 2 yet.

You poor woman :X

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:06 AM

If your daughter has delays, disorders and syndromes then it may be that she isn't physically ready to control her bowels. She may have something like low muscle tone or some other physical condition that is delaying her toileting skills, as well as difficulty cognitively understanding what to do and how to recognize the feeling that she has to move her bowels. Sometimes there can be a neurological component to toileting difficulties as well. I don't know what she has so I am only giving examples of possible things but I'd recommend talking to an occupational therapist to see if therapy might be able to help. Sometimes there are other things going on with the body and/or the mind that hamper toilet training efforts but a therapist would know how to work around those things and give you the best chance of actually accomplishing it.

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