Oldest Ds hates losing and being last. How can i tell him its ok to loose or be last?

OP thanks for posting this question. My DS is 5 and is going through this too. It's great to hear ideas and suggestions from others. 

Quoting Holland04:

OP thanks for posting this question. My DS is 5 and is going through this too. It's great to hear ideas and suggestions from others. 

I'm 29 and still get upset if I lose. I avoid activities I'm not good at so I don't lose. It's ridiculous that I feel this way and I hide it well, but it is what it is.

He just has to learn to cope with losing. Anytime I pouted about losing I got in trouble.My parents weren't having it.  I would have to sit and watch my siblings play when I was a bad sport. 

 I agree; practice.  Start with small things.  Be firm and consistent about taking turns and similar rules.  A family game night might be a great start for the losing issue.  If you're playing multiple games together, it's a great opportunity to focus on the fact that the playing is fun no matter who wins or looses.

And I feel like a sellout since I just mentioned this in another post, but the book Whole Brain Child touches on this stuff quite a bit.

ds who will be 6 in june is a terrible loser he does all those things that you said your son does. also if we play a board game and he loses he will not play again. it is so frustrating, i signed him up for t-ball i am hoping that helps with the issue.

i just hope he out grows it but DH is a sore loser when it comes to certain things so who knowS!

with the wanting to be the first somewhere or push buttons and things that is normal....i would alternate between the kids...and reinforce that everything isnt a race....then i would punish for throwing a fit or pouting (spank, time out, take away priviledge whatever you do in your home normally)....and with the poor sport thing thats hard for me...because i am very competitive and that rubs off on my daughter i of course tell her what will make her win and what wont in the sports she does so its hard to tell her she shouldnt feel bad for losing...i would never put her down of course....so i just reinforce a score doesnt matter....what matters is that you did your best...as long as she tries her hardest im proud....but most importantly i dont tolerate a bad sport....if shes sad she can go to the car or bathroom and cry but shes not going to be mean to her teammates or the other team she need to congratulate them with a smile

He will probably grow out of it. We have 4 ranging from 9 months-16. When my older ones were younger and we played board games, I didn't always let them win. I am currently doing this with my 4 year old. If we race or play games and she wins, I will hoot and holler for her and when I win, I'll clap and say,"yeah mommy!" This always helped mine get excited for others when they win at something. I'm just using myself as an example. We do the same thing with siblings, cousins, friends, etc. We have a nephew whose parents have always let him win at everything. He is now 10 and not a single person in our family wants to play a game with him because he can't lose. It's very sad because we love him so much. His own grandparents hate playing games with him:(

 Ds can be a sore loser. I remind him that if he acts that way no one will want to play games with him and if he continues the game will end now. I had to shake my head the other week because we were at MIL's and ds and his cousin were playing a video game and his cousin was winning. Well ds wasn't handling in a way I found acceptable, he was pouting saying I'm not going to play anymore. Fine don't. Well when he finally won he gloated about it. I don't think so, you can act right when you lose you certainly don't get to show off when you win. My MIL had the nerve to say something to me because I told ds he needed to stop.