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Need advice please! My toddler is getting bullied at preschool by older kids

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My son is 3.5 years old and is in preschool.  Yesterday, his dad picked him up and a group of girls who are 4.5 years and up said, 'Here comes the dumby.  Look at the dumby.  Dumby, dumby, dumby.'  Our son grabbed his father's hand, put his head down and went running for the door.  His father was in shock and could not believe what he just witnessed (thankfully he did witness it).  We spoke to our son about the situation.  However, he was very reluctant to talk about it and acted ashamed or as if he did something wrong.  So, we did some role-playing  activities.  I did call the school and spoke to the Head.  This morning I went into the school and spoke to the teachers.  I was assured that the parents were going be notified and the situation was going to be addressed. 
I never expected bullying at this age.  Honestly, the look on his face heart-breaking.  It was like his spirit was crushed. And unfortunately, I do not believe this was the first time this happened.  He is only 3.5 years old.  I am even contemplating pulling him out of that school.  I really need some advice.  I am wondeing how to re-establish security and his confidence.  This morning he repeated, 'I am not smart' and 'school is scary'.   I am so confused and want to do what is best for him.  Please help.  I really need advice. Thank you so much!

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:06 AM
Replies (11-12):
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:27 AM

Kids are so mean! I can't believe kids that young are bullying. There's no one to blame but parents or other influences. Kids this young are taught to be so mean, they don't just do it. It's horrible.

I don't know if I would pull him out of school, but I would stay on their ass about fixing the situation. I'd give it a bit more time to see if they do their job and make the school experience safe and enjoyable for all the kids. If it happens again, let them know again and tell them you want something done about it. Call the other parents yourself or something too. Maybe they're unaware?

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:14 AM

I don't know what I would do in that situation! My son will be four years old next month, and I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry, if that was happening to my son it would break my heart and make me so angry.

Maybe just try to build up his self-esteem? You know, remind him a lot about all of his wonderful qualities that make him who he is, tell him how smart he is. You could do some sort of activity with him that you know he can do and is age appropriate, and praise him over how smart he is. I don't know, sorry if my ideas are awful, and I am so sorry this happened to your son. I do know if my kids ever bully anyone like that I would make sure it never happened again. Sometimes kids are so mean! Hugs to you and your son!

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