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Toddler advice please

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:58 PM
  • 14 Replies
Im new here and looking for advice and hopefully support. I have a 22 month old daughter who refuses to drink milk out of anything but a bottle. She will drink anything else out of a sippy or straw cup or my cup except milk. Im at a loss with everything lately! Im 6 months pregnant and having massive hormonal changes. I rarely have lots of energy to keep up with her but do my best while trying to keep up with the house and cooking. I rarely get a moment to myself and feel horrid when she wants me to play with her and I turn her down. And lately she doesnt want to go to bed but plays in her crib for a good hour and a half before finally falling asleep. I just feel like Im such a horrible mother because shes still on a bottle twice a day, plays in her crib and sometimes yells and yells at me for no reason at bed time and she doesnt seem to want to learn to talk! Ive read other kids know their abc's at 2, Im lucky she says a few words. I just feel like a bad mom, other kids her age do things she isnt yet and thats probably because I dont know how to teach her. Am I holding her back keeping her my baby or will she do things when shes ready? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
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by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:58 PM
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by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:07 PM

   I can tell you what my aunt did  when her son was 22 months old and on the bottle . she told him that the baby bottle fairy is coming to take . all of his baby bottle to other  babys who really need them .  and the baby bottle fairy left her son a new toy . it worked for her. . your not a horrible mom  

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:14 PM
I still give my almost 2 year old a bottle at night only. It's just part of our routine and I'm terrified to change it since she goes to bed so well! She won't take a lot of milk from a sippy cup either. Some people have said warming it or putting a small amount of chocolate in it may get her to take it from a sippy cup. But that hasn't worked well for us. But it may for you! We have recently started regular cups and she gets excited about that and drinks more that way. So you could try that.

And don't feel bad about being tired! It happens to all moms! I'm not even pregnant and I don't always want to play! And my daughter doesn't speak a whole lot or know her ABCs and I'm not stressing. They all go at their own pace! And don't ever feel bad about keeping her a baby, kids grow up too fast! She will come around.
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by Platinum Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:01 AM
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Get rid of the bottles.  She can get her dairy from yogurt, cheese, etc.  she doesn't have to drink milk if she absolutely refuses...

take comfort in the fact that you cannot hinder her learning unless she's locked in an empty room all day.  Her brain is a little sponge and she learns new things all the time.  I never sat down to instruct my kids. They learned thru play.  I'll even admit that Sesame Street taught my son his ABCs and Super Why taught them to my daughter.

do not compare your child to other kids.  She is her own person and its not fair to measure her against anyone else.  She'll learn everything she's supposed too.  Don't stress about it.  When you play, incorporate the colors of her blocks, count them, etc.  just play and talk to her and show her the world.

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:45 AM

Both of my kids refused milk from anything but a bottle. So now they dont drink milk. But they do drink the fortified OJ with Calcium and Vit D and eat plenty of yogurt and cheese etc....My Dr said thats fine. (My kids are 6.5 and 2.5 now)

And I agree with PP, do not compare her to any other child. She will learn in her own time. Sounds like she is testing you now. It's a phase and will end. Hang in! Good luck!

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:44 AM

If you want her off the bottles I would probably just stop offering them. If she wants the milk bad enough she will drink it from the cups. Good thing is she doesn't HAVE to have the milk every day. But I have no real experience with bottles so I can't help much there.

As for talking, I think right around the second birthday is when a lot of kids will just take off with speech. The best way to teach her is just by talking to her, reading to her. I'm sure she is getting something from it all.

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 8:18 AM
Thank you everyone! Makes me feel better. I know shes just being stubborn and seeing what she can get away with but she looks for that bottle at nite before bed more than anything, so hoping she will grow out of it and give the bottle up on her time. Like she has a couple other things. Shes on the tiny side for weight so Im not ready for her to give up milk, but she eats constantly, all realitivly healthy, she doesnt like chocolate or sweets very much, and in my mind she gets her fats from the milk.

Im sure shes ok with her talking, she does babble and try telling me even though I dont always understand but I guess what shes lacking in speech she excels in knowing and comprehending other things. She will point or grab a block with whatever picture I ask about. Just a worried momma I guess. Especially with a second on the way, I dont want to mess them up or do something wrong.

Thanks everyone for responding and letting me vent. Its made me feel better :)
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by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:18 AM
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  I let my 21 month old have a bottle twice a day. A half hour before nap, and a half hour before bed. It's part of his routine to relax and go to sleep. I don't really care or worry about what others may think. However, if you want to stop using bottles with him, then just stop. I will say this, with another on the way, that will be harder since you will probably have some bottles back in the home. 

As to speech, some children don't start talking until 2. If there are no other developmental delays or no history of it in your's or hubby's immediate family (like siblings), then I wouldn't worry at this point. It can literally be one day they aren't talking, and the next they are. 

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:34 PM
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I don't really have any advice on this but wanted you to know I have twins (boy and girl) and they are also 22 months and they both still drink out of a bottle, mostly their milk, one bottle in the morning and one after day care.  Yes they can and will drink out of a sippy and can drink out of water bottles and even regular cups but for some reason they still like their bah-bahs and they still like me to hold the bottles when they drink them!(Can you say spoiled!)  I'm not going to stress about it though there could be other things worse than this that I could be dealing with.  My son speaks very well for his age but it took my daughter a little longer to catch up and she still isn't to his level.  I rock them before bed and we sing songs (one of which is ABC's)  I think that has gone a long way in helping my daughter advance her language skills and that is how they "know their ABC's".  I think all kids learn at their own pace and you probably shouldn't worry about it too much.  Try singing at bed time even if it doesn't help she will probably really enjoy it :)   

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:03 PM
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you are not a bad mom, I understand you perfectly, don't worry about the bottle, I have a little neighbor, she's almost 4 and she still likes to use bottle, I took the bottle away from both of my babies at 1yr, it was hard to get my son off of the bottle because my daughter had just come home and she had to use a bottle (they are only 1yr apart) and let me tell you he use to hate pacifiers and once my girl came home he fell in love with them, now you'll see him sucking on that thing everyday, well only when daddy is not around, he's almost 3 now, it's like the pacifier calms him down, he loves that thing, he's having speech therapies, when he turned 2 he wouldn't say a word well maybe mama and dada but that's it, he's been having therapies for about 6months and now I can't get him to shut it! lol I have to say at first I didn't want him to have therapies but I chose to gave it a try 'cause I had nothing to lose, I still don't think he needed the therapies, I believe kids will do things at their own pace, but I can tell you that I like him having therapies, he's learning a lot of stuff, it's like he's going to school for 30min haha. don't worry about anything you'll be a great mom! :) if you need anything message me =)

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 6:02 PM

OMG my daughter is 18 months old and I'm going thru the same thing! Within the last week I took the bottle away and she refuses milk completely.  The doctor told me it's a phase...boycotting..LOL  She said to feed her dairy like cheese and yogurt to get her the calcium until she gets over it :)  ALSO....since I stopped the bottle(cold turkey btw), she is sleeping thru the night!  She was walking up throughout the night wanting milk in her "bobbi" but now I put her to bed with water in her cup with a smidge of apple juice to flavor it...and she has started just holding it to sleep...doesn't even drink it.  It was hard to take the bottle away, I felt like a horrible mom "ripping" away her favorite thing!  The first two nights were rough, cried on and off for an hour before falling asleep...but now she's getting the hang of it and I feel better about it :) 

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