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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Help

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:36 PM
  • 5 Replies
My son is going to be five in a couple of weeks and we have a new baby on the way the past few months my son has been constantly misbehaving doing things he's knows he's not supposed to be doing.. For example getting into the fridge and cabinets in the middle of the night, getting into my makeup and other things he knows he's not supposed to touch and things even worse last week I caught him peeing in his closet on purpose, he poured his shampoo all over the bathroom one day, etc.
I've tried taking his toys, timeouts, spanking, grounding from certain things, taking special outings away, I've also tried good behavior board to where he got 5 stars in a week he would get a treat and nothing works. I also explain to him why these things are not good and something's can hurt him like the day i caught him "painting" with the toilet bowl cleaner inside the toilet claimed he was cleaning but I told him it could make him sick and it has chemicals.
When I ask him why he's doing these things sometimes he lies like the closet tried telling me it was the cat until I caught him red handed the second time, or he says I don't know it's very rare that he actually gives me a reason.
This is an everyday occurrence it's always something and I'm getting frustrated.. its like he doesn't care about the punishments or getting in trouble. I try to do things with him and give him lots of attention but its hard to take him out to places with him acting out. He also has a major attitude constantly yells at me when he's not getting his way I don't know what to do anymore
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by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:36 PM
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Replies (1-5):
KJH78
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:49 PM

Does he watch tv or play video games? My daughter although she's only 2.5 LOVES to watch 'shows" and I notice that when she watches it too often she acts out...so it goes and her behavior improves to get tv time back. Also, to some extent he may just want to feel like he has some say in things since things are changing around him and he may not know what the think about it. We practice the love and logic technique to parenting. One of the things you do is give the child two options not only on bad things like don't hit the dog or you're going to time out but even on every day things like do you want to drink water or milk, do you want to wear this or that....and wear him out on making choices. Both those things together work for my daughter. It's funny b/c the option thing she lights up when she has a say even if it's on water or milk!

Pixlemama
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 6:19 PM
I've given him choices on everything since he was about a year.. I've also always communicated completely with him if we're going to do something I've always explained to him what's going on and why it's happening. He's allowed 2 hrs of tv every morning and he's allowed to pick what shows he would like to watch I don't allow anything that is not learning appropriate for him and he has a leapfrog and he's allowed one hr of that a day but lately both tv and video games have been taken away at least every other week because of the way he acts
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corrinacs
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 7:45 PM

Its attention.  He feels like he's going to lose your attention and love.  This time is really important for you to show him how much you love him.  Spend as much time with JUST him as you possibly can, doing things that HE likes to do.  Doesn't mean you have to spend a ton of money.  But play his games with him, have movie nights at home, go on special outings.  The dollar store even :).  Make them often and aplenty.  Listen to him, and his silly stories.  

Also, let him have some control over the matter.  Allow him to pick out certain things, like clothing, blankets, anything you go shopping for :).  Let him pick.  We even went as far as letting our older son pick our little guy's name :).  It really made a huge difference :).

He was sad when we first came home and really couldn't pay the best attention to him.  But we let him stay at my mom's house for a while until we could get our bearings.  After that, we let him help all the time by getting us diapers, wipes, clothes, etc :).  Giving him that control and independence over the matter I think made a huge difference :)

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:19 PM
Yep this absolutely. Negative attention is just as good as positive for kids. You may think you are spending a ton of time together but for young kids its never enough.

While you guys play a game or color you can ask him things like "what would you like mommy to do more of?" "What kinds of things would you like us to do more of together?" "How are you feeling about the new baby coming?" "Do you have any questions about when the baby comes?" Kids open up a lot during play so you may get some helpful answers.


Quoting corrinacs:

Its attention.  He feels like he's going to lose your attention and love.  This time is really important for you to show him how much you love him.  Spend as much time with JUST him as you possibly can, doing things that HE likes to do.  Doesn't mean you have to spend a ton of money.  But play his games with him, have movie nights at home, go on special outings.  The dollar store even :).  Make them often and aplenty.  Listen to him, and his silly stories.  

Also, let him have some control over the matter.  Allow him to pick out certain things, like clothing, blankets, anything you go shopping for :).  Let him pick.  We even went as far as letting our older son pick our little guy's name :).  It really made a huge difference :).

He was sad when we first came home and really couldn't pay the best attention to him.  But we let him stay at my mom's house for a while until we could get our bearings.  After that, we let him help all the time by getting us diapers, wipes, clothes, etc :).  Giving him that control and independence over the matter I think made a huge difference :)


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Pixlemama
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:41 PM
Ill try talking to him more when were doing things I feel like we're always together doing things I work part-time and I'm with him all the other time the problem is his dad works 60 hrs a week most weeks and gets home after Chris is in bed so I'm wondering if its because he's not getting enough positive attention from his father because most the time when he acts out is when his dad is home
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