Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

So how would you tell them?

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:35 AM
  • 7 Replies
So either I go into labor this weekend or ill be induced on Monday & me & my fiance have already decided my 2 yo is gonna stay with his aunt & cousin. Well apparently my parents think he's gonna automatically stay with them. We haven't really gotten along with them as I would love to because I understand that my parents are VERY attached to my son since Im a teen mom & lived with them until he was almost 2. Well we haven't gotten along since apparently they think their the parents & my mom said that she basically gave birth to him & they tell him to call them mommy & daddy. Me & my fiance have rules for example he has to be taking his nap at 1 & has to be in bed by 9. But my parents don't respect that & it bothered me that she said she basically gave birth to him so every time I try to talk to her about it since my dad is always working she always tells me that he's the one that chooses to call them that & stuff when I've sat their & heard them tell him that. So now I don't really know how to tell them that their not going watch him since I don't like hurting peoples feelings.
How would you tell them?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:35 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
careyphotoo
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:34 AM
I think you just have to tell them. Its one of those where there not going to be happy either way and its better to get it done sooner than later.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mamamedic69
by Deanna on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:43 AM
I would just tell them and have the aunt and cousin watch you little one. You need the best person to watch your son and one who is willing to follow your rules and routine.

Granted they helped you out but that doesn't give them a free ride to do what they want. This issue is going to come up over lots of things and now is a good time to start setting those boundaries.
I too was a teen mom who lived with my parents for a couple of years and believe me when I say that if you let them "help" you or guilt you into things it will blow up. I didn't talk to my parents for almost 8 years because if stuff like this. I just got to a breaking point and it was a disservice to my son.

Good luck, mama. You'll be fine but remember that you're doing what is best for your son, not your parents.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ejsmom4604
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:16 AM

Be honest. Not cruel, but honest. Let your parents know that "MY" son will be staying at so and so's when I have baby #2. When they ask why, again be honest. Let them know that you love them, appreciate them being supportive, but your son is not their son. They didn't create him, give birth to him. They were there as support and yes are important to him, but they are not "mommy" and "daddy" and they are not to be reffered to that way. They are the grandparents, and that they cannot respect your boundries or rules. Until they do, visits will be limited. 

This way they know, and once things settle a bit after baby comes, make sure you sit down with your parents and come up with a list of boundries etc. Tell them you know that some things will come up, and we won't always agree, but we will talk through the situation and work it out. Like adults. Hopefully they will see how adult you are being and work it out with you. 

busymom64064
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:19 AM
This


Quoting ejsmom4604:

Be honest. Not cruel, but honest. Let your parents know that "MY" son will be staying at so and so's when I have baby #2. When they ask why, again be honest. Let them know that you love them, appreciate them being supportive, but your son is not their son. They didn't create him, give birth to him. They were there as support and yes are important to him, but they are not "mommy" and "daddy" and they are not to be reffered to that way. They are the grandparents, and that they cannot respect your boundries or rules. Until they do, visits will be limited. 

This way they know, and once things settle a bit after baby comes, make sure you sit down with your parents and come up with a list of boundries etc. Tell them you know that some things will come up, and we won't always agree, but we will talk through the situation and work it out. Like adults. Hopefully they will see how adult you are being and work it out with you. 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:33 AM
Gee, I wouldn't be so blunt, as pp
I'd say, oh, so and so is going to watch ds while we are in the hospital. We thought it would keep him on schedule easier if he stays there.
If a " why" comes up, it's just a quick " this is just a better for us"

You want to back away from as much drama during this time. Starting a confrontation right here at the birth of your second child sounds like a bad time.
Congrats btw
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
.Angelica.
by Angie on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:08 AM

I would just tell them. it will be hard but be honest. tell them you don't like that they can't respect your wishes for your child as his parents and you are going to have someone who will, watch him.

carmen_6410
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:34 PM
Thanks Ladies; This Helps A Lot.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)