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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

What to do with an imaginary husband?

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:51 PM
  • 16 Replies

My 4 year old daughter has an imaginary husband, his name is Folk Trubador. Folk is just like Drop Dead Fred. On her 4th birthday, I baked her a chocolate cake. The next morning the chocolate cake was gone. I went in her room and "Folk" got hungry through the night so he took the cake into her bed. It was EVERWHERE. Folk has cut her hair off, poured an entire bottle of shampoo in the toilet and then flushed, plugged the bathroom sink turned on the water lock and shut the door, he has been in prision for being mean to her in California, he has been mailed away, and most recently in August when my grandma died, tragically so did Folk. But that did not last to long. He is back and as mencing as ever. What do I do with this imaginary husband?

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:51 PM
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preacherskid
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:11 PM

Normally I would say imaginary frends are normal, and healthy for more kids.  But since she is using him to excuse some pretty outrageous behavior, I would have a word with her ped about how to best address this.  There could be some other behavioral thing that needs to be addressed

KRIZZ25
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not everyone's child should be treated special ..
Yesterday at 10:56 PM
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:14 PM
TELL HIM THAT UR DAUGHTER WONT'S A DIVORCE AND HE NEEDS TO MOVE OUT NOW!!
nikki554
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:19 PM

LOL. I have told him that. I talk to Folk alot to when he is getting in trouble and tell him that is not how we behave in this house. My daugter looks at me and says "he doesnt listen to old people." I have talked to her Dr. and aside for recommending behavioral studies he was not really any help

tyfry7496
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:21 PM
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Take her to counseling. This is beyond normal invisible friends.
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OBImomma
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:22 PM
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My ds had (occasionally he still visits) an imaginary friend. His name was bump bump. Bump bump has cut ds1's hair, dumped all the snacks on the floor, broken toys, colored on walls, made ds tell lies among many other things.
When bump bump would do bad things we would talk to ds and have him tell bump bump he had to go home bc his behavior was not good. Then we would help ds clean up bump bumps mess.
Ds is 5 and bump bump hasn't been around in a while. Sometimes (very rarely now) he will visit for dinner, but he always has good manners when he's here now.
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debramommyof4
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:23 PM

 Talk to her about how a husband should behave to a wife.  He should be kind and protective and never do things to get her in trouble.  Or talk to her Ped.  My 6 year old has an imaginary friend named ghost.  He went on vacation for a year and came back with a whole family.  When Ghost made mischief I told my DD that if Ghost could not behave he had to leave my house and not come back till he could behave.  That is when he went on a vacation for a year.

nikki554
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:27 PM

I need to do something with him. I think she understands how he "should" behave. She has made comments to me like I dont let my husband kiss me the way daddy kisses you, thats gross. Things like that. He is just the cause of all trouble in our house it seems. 

preacherskid
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:27 PM
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Maybe it is time to stop treating Folk as a person.  It is not Folk doing all thse things, it is your dd, and she is using Folk as a way to minimize her consequences.  Again, imaginary friends are normal and pretty healthy, even the chid blaming said friend for bad behavior is normal to an extent.  Children use imaginary friends to explore their world and how much control they have over it.  At this point though I would say it has gone too far and it is time to take control.  Next time "Folk" does something wrong, your dd gets the full punishment, and you do not address Folk at all, not to explain why it was bad or anything- your dd is old enough to understand personal responsibility.  Our odd is four, and she will every now and then say that she was mean or bad because someone was mean to her and that "made her mean too", and we do have to explain that we are responsible for our own actions, no one can make us do something bad unless we want to.  She understands the concept pretty well. 

babowes
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:32 PM
Lol


Quoting KRIZZ25:

TELL HIM THAT UR DAUGHTER WONT'S A DIVORCE AND HE NEEDS TO MOVE OUT NOW!!

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Ashes0813
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:40 PM
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I think acknowledging him and even yelling at him may only encourage the issue. I would do some research or ask a professional how to respond properly.

I know I messed up with my dd's imaginary friend issue. It started before her 5th birthday and after a month or so she was going on about him and without thinking I asked her how she knew he was imaginary and not a ghost messing with her. She looked at me all serious and said, "like a dead person?" Big oops but hey we never once heard from that imaginary friend again.
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