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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

having trouble disciplining my daughter around other kids.....

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:32 PM
  • 14 Replies

 hi my name is andrea and im new to this group and i have a beautiful 2 year old daughter and she's been going through her trouble two's lately and we live with my MIL and she takes care of her other grandkids which are 9 and 3 and dont really have much respect for anyone and refuse to listen to anybody which is fine since there not my kids anyway like any other 2 year old my daughter follows and says what she hears and see's and its so hard for me to discipline her when she see's her cousin's never being disciplied........

my question is if any of you girls have been through this or are currently going through this what are your suggestions?????

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gcstar42
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:33 PM

Just discipline her anyways, and tell her that you do it because you love her and care for her and want her to do good.

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:39 AM
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My parenting is never dictated by anything other than my values and expectations. If YOUR child is doing something YOU don't like then you address it.
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heartslove09
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:41 AM

I have a similar situation! I discipline no matter what or who is around me because my child will be raised according to me and my husband ....Good luck : )

iansmommy9
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:59 AM

My son has picked up on other kids' behavior when we've been at the playground or mall play area. When I correct him, I usually say, "You know better than to ______ Is _______ nice? No, it's not" loud enough the other parent can hear it. I think it's a subtle way of letting other parents know you don't approve of what their child did (if they're even paying attention) without being confrontational. He's 2.5 and gets it. '

itsm3
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:15 AM
1 mom liked this

of course; it happens all the time since everyone parents their kids differently.

the key is to always stick to your guns.  for me, i refuse to put up with any attitude, yelling back/cheeky talk, rude manners etc.  i don't care what other parents do/don't do - i know how i want my child to be raised.  if dd is doing any of those things, i take her aside and talk to her.  if she still continues, i tell her: "WE (and i always use "we" to reinforce that it is not acceptable for anyone in our family, including her) do not [insert bad behaviour here].  you stop that right now because if you don't, you are going straight to time out and you will not be able to play with [whatever toy they're playing with].  so you choices are to play nicely and stop this rude behaviour OR you can continue with your rude behaviour and go into timeout". 

i always give dd a choice to make (one always being the right one) and tell her what the consequences are.   9 times out of 10, she stops her behaviour and apologizes for which she gets praised for making such a great choice.  this has worked out so well for dd because she stops to think about what she's doing and stops to make a choice which is what i want her to be doing going forward because life is all about choices! 

STVUstudent
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:51 AM

Just tell her, WE do not act this way, it is inappropriate and unacceptible.  At 3, my kids could say "that is inappropriate- we don't do that."  Be firm and consistant.  Tell her- I know you see Tommy and Suzie doing that, but WE do not act that way.  I am your mother.  We do things THIS way.  And be firm, and consitant.  Did I mention firm and consistant? 

I know it's hard-  my mom used to help a lot with my little ones, and she had way different rules... but so long as you do not flip flop, your daughter will learn... and may even thank you for it when she grows up...

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:49 AM

 i do that too but usually the parents aren't around so it's an indirect lecture to other kids!  at the park once there were some kids smashing bugs and i'm VERY against that.  we teach our kids to love and respect living creatures.  i pulled my son aside but kept him near the other kids and explained that "we do not smash bugs.  that bug has a mother and now she's sad... how would you like it if someone came by and stepped on you?"  the other boys were staring at me very intently.  of course it won't make a difference for them but i felt better letting them hear my lesson. 


Quoting iansmommy9:

My son has picked up on other kids' behavior when we've been at the playground or mall play area. When I correct him, I usually say, "You know better than to ______ Is _______ nice? No, it's not" loud enough the other parent can hear it. I think it's a subtle way of letting other parents know you don't approve of what their child did (if they're even paying attention) without being confrontational. He's 2.5 and gets it. '


 

oct1710
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:14 PM

 thanks simple smile

Quoting STVUstudent:

Just tell her, WE do not act this way, it is inappropriate and unacceptible.  At 3, my kids could say "that is inappropriate- we don't do that."  Be firm and consistant.  Tell her- I know you see Tommy and Suzie doing that, but WE do not act that way.  I am your mother.  We do things THIS way.  And be firm, and consitant.  Did I mention firm and consistant? 

I know it's hard-  my mom used to help a lot with my little ones, and she had way different rules... but so long as you do not flip flop, your daughter will learn... and may even thank you for it when she grows up...

 

HeathLaw22
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:08 PM

I am in the same situation, I actually discipline my sons cousins when they are around. My son is only 15 months but he gets disciplined when he does something wrong, and when they do something wrong I treat them the same as I treat my son. You should do the same thing, My MIL hates that I do it she thinks I am being mean to them, I say if they are going to be rude to my son, then they are going to get in trouble for it. If you don't feel comfortable yelling at them then, just discipline your own.

PEEK05
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:36 PM

Hi Andrea.  Welcome to the group. :)

Just stay consistent with your discipline.  She will know what to expect from YOU and that's all that matters really. :)

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