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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Tantrums

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:01 PM
  • 4 Replies

My 15 month old has been throwing tantrums just like his 3 year old cousin. He will be getting into something or doing something that is not aloud (hitting, scratching, pushing.) He gets warnings wich are really just me nicely telling him "No, Hunter we don't (what he is doing)" If he doesn't stop then he gets the "If you keep it up, you're going in time out" voice, which sometimes he will listen to, and just walk away, or he will throw himself on the floor screaming and flailing his arms and legs around. I usually just leave him there, and continue with what ever I am doing, but is that the right thing to do? Should I put him in Time out for it, I know I don't want to pick him up and say it's okay because he just got in trouble and if I do that then he is just going to be like well I can do what ever I want.

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:01 PM
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PAmommy32
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:45 PM

I think it is just fine to let him cool off on his own.  When my son is very upset like that I will usually sit beside him quietly in case he needs a hug or something.  If he stopped whatever you asked him to then the tantrum is just him figuring out how to deal with the frustration that he can't do what he wanted.  At his age, he still needs help managing those strong emotions.  Once he settles you can teach him what he can do when he is frustrated, like punch a pillow, stomp his feet, whatever you find acceptable for him to get it out.   A hug and helping him deal with his emotions is different than saying it is ok to do things you shouldn't. 

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Nope, you are good.  As long as he's in a safe environment, leave him to tantrum alone without an audience.  He shouldn't be punished for his tantrum.  He is feeling an emotion and it's valid so when he's calm, make sure to validate those feelings.  His method, however, is not valid but he's 15 months so this will just take time. 

If you need to put him in timeout for whatever he got in trouble for, do that and then let him tantrum wherever that spot is.  Once he's calmed down you can say something like "Hunter, you are in timeout because you ___________.  I understand that you are frustrated because Mommy wouldn't let you ____________ but I'm trying to keep you safe or so and so doesn't want to be hit, etc."  He should say sorry (if/when he is able) and then big hugs and kisses and then move on.  As he gets older and has more language/comprehension skills you add "Instead of screaming and crying, you need to use your words and tell me why you are upset." 

Also, try telling him what TO do vs. what not to do.  If he's hitting you can use his hands to show gentle touches.  If he's trying to climb on something dangerous, redirect him to climb on one of his safer toys, etc.

 

iansmommy9
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this

If he stops doing the undesirable behavior when you tell him, then he should be left to tantrum. If he continues the behavior put him in time out..,if that works. Whatever the consequence make sure you follow up immediately every time. 

The more you let him work out his frustrations now and realize there are boundaries, the better life will be when he's 2 or 3.

emkirkley
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:03 PM

I agre with luvmybabies22.  With my 3.5 year old when she has a melt-down (which is more than I like, but we have some sensory issues that cause easy overstimulation and we are working with the pedi and have a referal to an OT for this) I put her in her room and tell her that when she's feeling like she can stop crying and talk to me she may come out.  I just walk away from my 22 month old most of the time when she starts a fit, unless she's going to hurt someone/something, then I move her to her room as well.  I always try to encourage them to show or tell me what's wrong, but if in the middle of that they melt-down, that's ok, but I'm not going to stand there like I'm enjoying it.

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