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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

The "NO" word...Driving me Krazy...HELP!

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:45 PM
  • 10 Replies

I have a 22month old, that loves the word "NO". I tell her what to do or not to do this or that and she just says no and points at me while saying this. Ive put her in time out or disclipe her hand (Sometimes barley, because it doesn't do anything) So, I don't know what to do. I know its probably a age thing, but its annoying and frustrating.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:37 PM

i don't think you need to punish her for voicing an opinion, you need to change your tactics...  try giving her options where she can point and choose between 2 things vs. just telling her what to do or not to do.

her tone might not be appreciated but it's completely normal for a 2 year old.

at 3 1/2 and 6 my kids still tell me "no" sometimes when I ask them to do something but they are old enough to understand when i reply "it wasn't a question..." and they comply immediately :)

TerriAnne2606
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:44 AM

It is an age thing.  They start to learn independence and that they can say NO around this time.  Just do your best to keep your cool (I know - not easy some days) and keep constant in using things like time out or saying that we don't say that - or even wording requests so that NO isn't the first thing that pops into mind.  Also, remember that toddlers LOVE to help - so pretend that you can't do something without your little one's help.  That went a LONG way towards getting my DD to help me without shouting NO 50 times first.  

Bkf4e4l
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:40 PM

Thank you!

hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:42 PM
Um, a looooong stage! Lol! They want autonomy sooo bad!

Quoting TerriAnne2606:

It is an age thing.  They start to learn independence and that they can say NO around this time.  Just do your best to keep your cool (I know - not easy some days) and keep constant in using things like time out or saying that we don't say that - or even wording requests so that NO isn't the first thing that pops into mind.  Also, remember that toddlers LOVE to help - so pretend that you can't do something without your little one's help.  That went a LONG way towards getting my DD to help me without shouting NO 50 times first.  

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PEEK05
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:54 PM

Sorry I don't know. :( I would just pick a form of discipline and stick with it.

mypbandj
by Jen on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:56 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with the pp who said not to punish her for having an opinion. Why can't she say no? If someone were doing something mean to her, don't you want her to be able to say no? If you punish her for it now, she won't know the difference.

Stop giving the word power. Just IGNORE it. She can say it all day long but it doesn't anything. She still has to take a bath, brush teeth, etc.

And the more you let it drive you crazy, she is going to use it against you. She will keep saying it to you to get a reaction out of you. And the longer this stage will last.

I once saw a mom and child leaving the library. The child was following mom out the door. No fighting, running, just following the way you'd hope a child would.

Mom says, "we have to leave and go (do something - I can't remember)." The child, still following, says "noooo."

And the mother reaches out and smacks the kid in the head!!

WTF?? I was shocked. And sad. I don't get why the kid can't have an opinion. The kid wasn't running the other way. She just said "no." And for having an opinion, got smacked. Do you think that child is going to feel comfortable telling her mom anything as she gets older? Probably not. And I have 2 teens - and I WANT them to be able to tell me anything!!!
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aj2011
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 4:04 AM

it's an age thing. my son is about to be 22 months and he does the same thing. i know how you feel. i don't know what to do either because it is frustrating. i've just learned to let it go sometimes, but it sucks that they talk back already lol

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Nikkijessie
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 7:31 AM
My 20 month old hasn't said no yet but he ignores me when I tell him to do something or runs away. It does get fustrating but disciplining him for it isn't going to get anywhere. If I get that fustrated I tell my fiancé to take him for a few minutes so I can calm down. It's just how they are at this age and if you let it get to you thy will do it over an over untill you go crazy.
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XJetX
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 7:35 AM
DD will be 3 soon and loves that word. When she's asked to pick up her toys, told its time for bed, time to get dressed (she says no to everything except for 2 hello kitty shirts) everything is no. I'm at my wits and too.
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bekalynne440
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:20 AM
If I'm telling my kids something they need to do and they tell me no, I just teach them the way I want them to respond. I'm working on this with dd (25 months) now. Ds knows better (3.5). In our family we teach ma'am and sir. When I tell dd to do/not to do something and she says no I'll tell her she should say "yes ma'am" and do what I said. If ds says "no" all I have to say is "do you tell me no?" and he'll quickly respond "Yes ma'am."
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