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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Would you take your toddlers to a funeral? 

My DH & I have two toddlers (ages 3 & 2) and we're faced with an family member dying. I don't feel that a funeral is a place for someone that young. They don't understand what is going on. Now I know that I can get my mom to watch the kids while dh & I attend the funeral but I have a feeling that dh's mom will through a fit if the kids aren't there. My dh's mom has some mental issues.

How do I politely explain that the kids will not be attending the funeral without having anyone butt hurt?  

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:28 PM
Replies (11-15):
MrsApple
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:38 PM

If it's a family member,I say take them.My daughter was 2 when my grandmother passed away and we took her to the funeral.It made other family members happy to have little ones around (my cousin also brought her 2 yr old) and both kids behaved so well.

liss05
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:43 PM

This.



Quoting TheMommaJessie:

if they can be well behaved & sit quietly id take them a lot of people  like seeing kids @ funerals because it brings some sunshine to a very very glumy day

Quoting OliviaW.:

If that was an option I would do it but it's a very small church and there's no where else to go. 

Quoting TheMommaJessie:

i had my 2 year old ds & 3  month old dd with us @ my hubbys aunts funeral my sil & bil had their 18 month old dd & newborn ds there also me & her kept the kids in another room during the funeral.





.Angelica.
by Angie on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:49 PM

If the kids were not close with the person I would probably have your mom watch them. I'm not sure how to politely tell your MIL that though. good luck.

OliviaW.
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:52 PM


Quoting .Angelica.:

If the kids were not close with the person I would probably have your mom watch them. I'm not sure how to politely tell your MIL that though. good luck.

The person was their great grandmother but they didn't have a bunch of contact plus she had alzheimer's disease so she didn't always know them when we were able to go. 

mousesmommy5610
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:03 PM

i am sorry for you to lose a family member that is hard but hear me out: my husbands dad passed in june of last yr unexpectedly, well since he is the oldest out of the twins and married him and i were next to kin we had to make all the arangments and everything and we are early 20's well my 2 yr old daughter kept wondering why dad and mom were so busy with everything and would ask to go see papa and i had to sit her down and explain that papa is an angel and he isnt here with us any more and she took it well i mean once in a while we have to remind her that papa is in heaven and she understands very well (we have his earn) so we tell her thats where papa is at and she knows it now, and she DID attend the funeral i brought my parents just to keep an eye on her cause i knew my husband couldnt do the memorial alone and i couldnt help and keep an eye on her at the same time but i felt she needed to be there and im thankful she was there cause it helped her understand what was going on they did take her home shortly after the service and i was ok with that and she always went to the memorial we had that day for him... so i think IF the boys know this family member well then yes they should go and simpley explain to them that the person isnt there and that this how we will remember them,(if its an open cascat id pass on letting them in particual veiw the family member) and if the veiwing is seperate from the services i would have MIL watch them for the veiwing and then pick them up for the services, but if they really dont know the family member very well sure go a head and pass on taking them and tell MIL that the boys dont know the person and u think its best they dont go because its a hard thing to comperhend and to explain a person whose passed to kids who dont know them is harder then to explain it if they did know the person..... but ultamtly its up to u and hubby.... good luck and my prayers dear!!

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