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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

At my witts end... need to vent... need advice...

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:10 PM
  • 7 Replies

 Well it is offical... I must be totally and completly crazy over here... lol... but anyway... my problem or question, whatever, is about my son suddenly not talking... Yes I know he is only almost 2 years old... and I know they don't usually know a lot of words at this age but still a fews ago(the week of jan 19th) JR was talking real good imo, he was starting to tell me what he wanted most of the time, yes he was not perfect at it by any means but still he would talk or try to anyway and tell me what he wanted, like if he wanted food he'd say numm-numm or nummies(his word for food, not sure if it's spellled rioght according to webster but bare with me please.) if he wanted something to drink he'd either say numm-numm or he'd try to say drink which sounds like ink when he says it, really cute imo... he dosen't know a lot of other words but he used to be really good about at least trying to tell me what he wanted or needed. like he had his own ways of telling me things whether he could say the words for it or not, granted I'm trying to teach him to more words every day... But it's like ever since jan 19th(a saturday to be excited) when my M.I.L took jr for the night, I think as kind of a brithday persent to me, jr has hardly said one word when he needs or wants something... I am not saying that my M.I.L did anything wrong to jr but i am saying that she spoiles him and she acts like she dosen't care what we(jr's parents) have to go through when she sends him home to us... she even said yesterday that DH didn't have a say in what happened at her house, like if she spoils jr and just gives him what he wants, as long as it won't hurt him mind you, then he nor I do not have a say in what goes on at her house... she was all like well it is my right my to spoil him ,and send him home to mommy and daddy... I even turnded around and said oh so you think you can spoil him give him whatever he wants when ever or let him get away with not using his words let him get away with mruder so to speak and send him home to me and not care what I have to go through the following week until you see him again huh... ??? and she just looked at me and shook her head yes and laughed a lil at me... I just wanted to get up and leave at that point, superbowl or no superbowl... but I didn't, I just looked at her and dh both and just shook my head... and let it go at that for now anyway... it's like she dosen't get, she dosen't know how to properally raise a child his age or something... I mean seriuosly I am begining to realize at this point what went wrong with three of her sons(not my dh but his three brothers from his mom's side)

idk anymore at this point what I can do anymore at this point... (yes I was a lil pissed off yestorday when I spoke to the m.i.l about this and maybe I shouldn't have been but oh well.)

I mean can I keep her from seeing him if I feel like it is affecting jr in a major way? or could this be something else? should I just let it all go and froget about it and keep living in this hell with a fussy child like this and continue getting nothing done all the time because of how spoiled jr is at this point? or what should I do?

I am out of ideas at this point... and I just want to cry because I feel idk helpless at this point... Oh well please reply with advice if you have any, but I have to go get jr up out of bed now cuz he woke up from his nap again... I probably have a long evening of hell ahead of me and a long night of school I'll have to do to get caught up cuz of all of this but I'll be back as soon as I can thank you, in advance...

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:10 PM
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neslonturf
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:32 PM
1 mom liked this

For one thing...every kid develops different skills at different times...it might be no big deal. Sometimes when one skill is emerging, another skill will regress. BUT...it never hurts to have your son tested for a speech delay. Early intervention is free. Call your doctor's office and just ask who to call. You don't even need to go in to see the doctor...just have them get the number for you. Or google Early Intervention in your area. The cool thing about testing is they can tell you what age rage he falls in for different parts of his development. They can even give you ideas how to help him progress. My youngest qualified for speech therapy at 12 mos old! He had speech therapy until he was three. They came to the house! Early intervention only goes until kids are three...then you have to deal with the school district, wherever you live. So...I would have him tested, just for the valuable opportunity to bounce this stuff off the experts. 

DakotaHaley
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, you have a right not to let him stay with your MIL without you. It's your child. Now I don't think his grandma should be removed all together, but you could take him to visit and stay there so she can see him.

    I can understand a little where she is coming from, but she should also respect your guys rules and things that you do have set for your child. As for the not talking much it's probably just his age. He will start up again just keep encouraging him.

   My daughter is 2 and she doesn't say much, but she tries.


gigis1
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:02 PM
1 mom liked this

well my daughter is 26 months, she has had times when she said some words so clearly, and out of nowhere stopped, and some words came back weeks or months later, some still havent... BUT her grandmom (her father mom) teaches her many words, she treats her as if she were her daughter.. BECAUSE she wants to help me and make thigs easier for me.. which i love.... TELL her that you arent blaming her for that but to please not dumb down your child -_- unless she wants to stop seeing him at HER house.. maybe tell her she can visit LO at your house ?

Sun_Shine_990
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:17 PM

 Well thank you for the advice honey... And actually I have thought a couple of times about having him idk tested or checked out by someone, simply because his whole life he has always been behind on developing and even  the nurse at the wic office has said that I should have him tested for any delays and such but everytime I bring it up dh well he doesn't like the idea and I think he kind of sides with his mom on it because she says every time that she hears about our visits there that well every kid develops differntly, which I know that is true... but it just worries me when my child is months behind where even his doctor says he should be... his doctor has never suggested us haveing him tested for delays though... but I am like idk what to do at this point because of where dh stands on that matter...

I mean do I risk a huge fight between me and dh and try to set up getting him tested or whatever on my own? Or do I just wait n see what happens or something like that? I just don't know anymore what to do on that matter either honestly....  maybe that makes me a bad parent for being at a lose or whatever, idk anymore... but I am not sure what to do about that right now honestly....

Quoting neslonturf:

For one thing...every kid develops different skills at different times...it might be no big deal. Sometimes when one skill is emerging, another skill will regress. BUT...it never hurts to have your son tested for a speech delay. Early intervention is free. Call your doctor's office and just ask who to call. You don't even need to go in to see the doctor...just have them get the number for you. Or google Early Intervention in your area. The cool thing about testing is they can tell you what age rage he falls in for different parts of his development. They can even give you ideas how to help him progress. My youngest qualified for speech therapy at 12 mos old! He had speech therapy until he was three. They came to the house! Early intervention only goes until kids are three...then you have to deal with the school district, wherever you live. So...I would have him tested, just for the valuable opportunity to bounce this stuff off the experts. 

 

Cassidysmom611
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:22 PM
2 moms liked this

Kids develop at all different rates. However, if you see some regression I would definitely consult with your pedi or local early intervention. Not saying that there is a delay, but if there is you want to catch it as soon as possible.

My youngest is about to age out of EI next month when she turns 3 and I can tell you for the last 18 months they have been involved with my family it has been an amazing support for my DD and my family as a whole.

I know sometimes there is a stigma around EI but I know I would rather hear people talk and get the help my child needs, rather than sit on the side lines to spare someones feelings or judgements.

You need to do what you think is best for your son. End of story. Good luck!

Marimaru
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:43 PM

At any point if my kid regressed in their behavior every time they saw someone, I would flat out say "I'm sorry, he can't come over until you can be more consistent with him.  You can spoil the crap out of him when he's older and understands the concept of different rules in different places, but you just can't do that now."


neslonturf
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this


You are your child's advocate. Testing is a long hard road...especially if it turns out there are delays. My DH was skeptical at first, but went along with me on it. I have to say though...after fighting my mom, my dad, my inlaw, my sisters, the school district, and doctors...Lord help the person who stands between me and what's right for my kid. 

My doctors said to wait and see...but there is a cut off for early intervention that they DON'T tell you about. Age 3. My inlaws said that I was "making up crap about" my kids. My Mom said I just need to work with him more. My dad heard "retarded" every time I said "autism." 

My husband read some books, and came around very quickly. My inlaws, parents, husband, and siblings, are now my biggest support...but they weren't at first. I felt like everyone was against me when I was just trying to help my kid. 

You're not fighting WITH people...you're fighting FOR your kid. 

Quoting Sun_Shine_990:

 Well thank you for the advice honey... And actually I have thought a couple of times about having him idk tested or checked out by someone, simply because his whole life he has always been behind on developing and even  the nurse at the wic office has said that I should have him tested for any delays and such but everytime I bring it up dh well he doesn't like the idea and I think he kind of sides with his mom on it because she says every time that she hears about our visits there that well every kid develops differntly, which I know that is true... but it just worries me when my child is months behind where even his doctor says he should be... his doctor has never suggested us haveing him tested for delays though... but I am like idk what to do at this point because of where dh stands on that matter...

I mean do I risk a huge fight between me and dh and try to set up getting him tested or whatever on my own? Or do I just wait n see what happens or something like that? I just don't know anymore what to do on that matter either honestly....  maybe that makes me a bad parent for being at a lose or whatever, idk anymore... but I am not sure what to do about that right now honestly....

Quoting neslonturf:

For one thing...every kid develops different skills at different times...it might be no big deal. Sometimes when one skill is emerging, another skill will regress. BUT...it never hurts to have your son tested for a speech delay. Early intervention is free. Call your doctor's office and just ask who to call. You don't even need to go in to see the doctor...just have them get the number for you. Or google Early Intervention in your area. The cool thing about testing is they can tell you what age rage he falls in for different parts of his development. They can even give you ideas how to help him progress. My youngest qualified for speech therapy at 12 mos old! He had speech therapy until he was three. They came to the house! Early intervention only goes until kids are three...then you have to deal with the school district, wherever you live. So...I would have him tested, just for the valuable opportunity to bounce this stuff off the experts. 

 



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