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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

5yr old lying and sneaking

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:12 PM
  • 11 Replies
Oi I don't know why this is happening. If its a normal phase and part of developent for kids his age(like learning that its wrong). He is in general very well behaved and slightly advanced for his age but the last few months have been odd.
This morning dh texts me asking how many doughnuts were in the kitchen after I left.
There were 3, enough for dh ds 1 and ds 2.
Ds one(the 5yr old) was awake dirst(dh was too) so dh gave him his doughnut. Ds said he was getting some water(water is free range in our house). Dh goes about chores doing laundry and what not. Well ds 2 wakes up and dh goes to guve him his doughnut.....they are all gone!!
Ds 1 ate 3 doughnuts that he knew were not to be eaten.
He has been doing similar things to this, sneaking and taking things, sneaking out in the am to play the xbox.
He is an extreamly sensative kid and even if you calmly talk to him he bawls instantly. Dh said he did this as a kid because he would do something then feel terrible for it and just cry and cry.
Neither of us had awesome parenting and dissaplin as kids so we are not sure what to do or the best way to get across to him that this is not a good behavior.
My fear is the lying. Dh has a younger brother(15) who is a compulsive liar. I DON'T want that to become our son!
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
theosgirl45
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:16 PM

We are having the same fight here with Lillian.  She will be 5 in June.  She just recently started hiding and sneaking things she knows she can't have.  For instance, she sat in the kitchen and ate a biscuit after I had told her she couldn't have anymore.  She has also been lying a lot.  We are working on it.  Its hard to explain why lying is bad but I think she is starting to get it.  Hopefully it is just a phase.

Diatech12
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:20 PM
Quoting theosgirl45:

We are having the same fight here with Lillian.  She will be 5 in June.  She just recently started hiding and sneaking things she knows she can't have.  For instance, she sat in the kitchen and ate a biscuit after I had told her she couldn't have anymore.  She has also been lying a lot.  We are working on it.  Its hard to explain why lying is bad but I think she is starting to get it.  Hopefully it is just a phase.




I'm hoping its a phase too. It really is hard to explain, like its almost to complex for them yet but I don't want it to get to far to where its habbit and MUCH harder to break.
theosgirl45
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:23 PM

I know, its so hard to make it simple enough for them to grasp it but at the same time you don't want to just let it go and not correct it at all.  Sometimes I wish kids came with a manual lol.  Just out of curiousity have you had trouble with him being rude?  For some reason recently Lily has decided that being rude is ok(which it never has been) For example she will tell people "you stink and need a shower" when I know for a fact that they are clean and shower regularly(she said this to my Mom and I was sitting closer to her than Lily was and I know she didn't smell bad).  


Quoting Diatech12:

Quoting theosgirl45:

We are having the same fight here with Lillian.  She will be 5 in June.  She just recently started hiding and sneaking things she knows she can't have.  For instance, she sat in the kitchen and ate a biscuit after I had told her she couldn't have anymore.  She has also been lying a lot.  We are working on it.  Its hard to explain why lying is bad but I think she is starting to get it.  Hopefully it is just a phase.




I'm hoping its a phase too. It really is hard to explain, like its almost to complex for them yet but I don't want it to get to far to where its habbit and MUCH harder to break.



kailu1835
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:26 PM

Lying is a normal progressive behavior for young children.  How you handle it will determine whether or not he goes through it and comes out the other side, or ends up like your brother in law. 

Diatech12
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:31 PM
Quoting theosgirl45:




Slightly yes, he has been interupting a lot. He will either just walk inbetween you and the other perdon and start talking or if your standing he will poke your side repeatdly. But he's a chatter box so he always has a lot to say all the time.
In public though he's shy and won't speak to anyone lol.

Oh and he slyly teased his brother a few days ago because he got to eat the rest of the peaches(ds2 said he was done and got down the changed his mind 10min later). Karma hit him though because the threw the peaches up later that night....
Diatech12
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:33 PM
Quoting kailu1835:

Lying is a normal progressive behavior for young children.  How you handle it will determine whether or not he goes through it and comes out the other side, or ends up like your brother in law. 





That's why I'm trying to figure out how to address it. Mil didn't do anything about it.
kailu1835
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:36 PM

My guess is that he got away with it, and it worked for him.  Make lying NOT work for your son.

Quoting Diatech12:

Quoting kailu1835:

Lying is a normal progressive behavior for young children.  How you handle it will determine whether or not he goes through it and comes out the other side, or ends up like your brother in law. 





That's why I'm trying to figure out how to address it. Mil didn't do anything about it.


babiesbabybaby development

Diatech12
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Quoting kailu1835:




But in this case it kind of did work for him. He got the doughnuts, telling him he won't get anymore doesn't quite work as doughnuts are not a normal treat(which I'm sure is why he went tnuts on them). How do I. Use this situation to explain lying as a whole and it being wrong kwim?

And I agree with you I'm just picking your brain, I hope none of that came out snarky :)
kailu1835
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:48 PM

Not offended at all :)

You said that he is sensitive?  This can work in your favor.  Explain to him how much it hurts your feelings when he isn't honest.  Honesty is so important because we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, etc.

Quoting Diatech12:

Quoting kailu1835:




But in this case it kind of did work for him. He got the doughnuts, telling him he won't get anymore doesn't quite work as doughnuts are not a normal treat(which I'm sure is why he went tnuts on them). How do I. Use this situation to explain lying as a whole and it being wrong kwim?

And I agree with you I'm just picking your brain, I hope none of that came out snarky :)


babiesbabybaby development

Diatech12
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:56 PM
Quoting kailu1835:





Oohh thank you. I will try that!
He has the saddest cry face, combine that withmy pregnancy hormones and I think I may cry too lol!

This has just been throwing us for a loop since normally he is a considerate thoughtful guy. Anyother issues were taken care of and he learned quickly. This issue is just more to grasp for him I guess.
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