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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Contentious Mommy & Daughter Relationship?

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 2:22 AM
  • 12 Replies
When I found out I was going to have a girl (1st & only child), I was super excited.

Then I started getting the comments about how much daughters LOVE Daddy!! I was just fine with that too.

I don't have an amazing relationship with my mother, but she didn't start driving me up a wall until I was a teen. So I thought I had plenty of time with my baby girl before all the drama started.

It seems I am wrong. At 21 months, it is clear that she prefers Daddy. If I discipline her, she runs to him. If I tell her that it's time for a clean diaper, I get the stink eye and she runs to him. If I tell her it's time to eat, she cries. Pretty much everything I say to her, causes her to cry, or wave her hands frantically and stomp her feet. If I am playing blocks with her and I ask her for a hug, she'll throw them down and run out of the room. Ack!!! In the past week, I've only gotten 2 unsolicited hugs and kisses.

But Daddy can ask her ANYTHING, and she is all over it. The same beef stew, that she just rejected when I gave it to her, she will eagerly eat for him. He can just look at her and say, "Yum!", and she dives in.

I mean really! I am with her all day.....play with her.....read books to her.....chase her around the house and play peek-a-boo. Why should Daddy get all the good treatment?

And yes, I am a little jealous. I am worn out at the end of the day, and all I'd like is to know that she loves me. Instead, I get distain and stink eye. I can only imagine what she's going to think about me when she does become a teen!?!?

What about y'all?? Do you have little girls that love you to pieces, or do you get passed over for Daddy?
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by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 2:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 3:00 AM

You are taking this too personally.  My dd is 3 1/2 and went thru that daddy phase.  One day my mom was watching them while dh and i went for a run.  when we got home she ran right past me to daddys arms.  it didnt bother me.  i know she loves me, its not even a question.

They are with us ALL the time.  We do the bulk of the disciplining and nagging while daddy shows up refreshed and ready to party.  My dd has become more attached to me over the last few months.  By nature my dd is just totally independent.  She's not big on hugs and kisses and when she is, it has to be on HER terms.  


ilana_ny
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 3:06 AM

My DS and DD were the same way towards me. Now they are 3and 4yo, they can't be without me:-))) and I can tell you, It's not that great :-). They like to play with their father but they need me to be around always. 

ATL958
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 3:10 AM
Thank you! Mine is extremely independent too, and the whole "on her terms" thing is right on!! This gives me hope that things will improve.

I'm getting over the flu right now, and perhaps it's all the cold medicine, but it's really bothered me for the past 2-3 days. Usually, I can blow it off.


Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

You are taking this too personally.  My dd is 3 1/2 and went thru that daddy phase.  One day my mom was watching them while dh and i went for a run.  when we got home she ran right past me to daddys arms.  it didnt bother me.  i know she loves me, its not even a question.

They are with us ALL the time.  We do the bulk of the disciplining and nagging while daddy shows up refreshed and ready to party.  My dd has become more attached to me over the last few months.  By nature my dd is just totally independent.  She's not big on hugs and kisses and when she is, it has to be on HER terms.  



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MamaTrombley
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:47 AM

 That is way. You are with her all day.  And yes i went through the same thing. And its the same with any child i think. Wether a boy or girl. At least with our clan it was/is(ds who is 1 is doing the same thing right now).  It will get better.

hugging

Gweneveer
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:49 AM

I think its just a phase to be honest.  

I have 2 girls.  My oldest wouldnt choose daddy over me....ever.  My youngest might, but only if shes having an off day, lol.  

They have both had periods of time where they prefer him, but I dont take it personally.  

wonderstruck11
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:39 AM

My daughter usually prefers me, except when she wakes up in the morning; then she only wants her daddy.
My husband used to work mornings, so she was always stuck with me, but now he got a promotion and works a lot of evening shifts, so she gets to see him in the mornings. If I get up with her and he sleeps in, she will wait at the end of the hall and call his name until she wins and he wakes up.
I feel terrible because he works hard and needs his sleep, but if she knows he is home, then she doesn't want me. Its hard and I see it happen to my mom a lot with my sisters. I don't have any good advice, but we just have to stay strong and not pressure anything.

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Mommy to my princess, Alexandria Raeangel mini
wonderstruck11 <-- pinterest

.Angelica.
by Angie on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:59 AM

i have a boy and a girl. my son is 5 and my girl is 13 months. They both prefer me and treat dh the way your dd treats you. :( I feel bad about it but I can't make them want him more. dd will slap at him and her brother for being too close to us when I am holding her. :/

CatFishMom
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:14 PM

My boys go through those phases and boys are supposed to be more attached to their mommies, so dont worry too much about it. As for the hugging and kissing-my older son is constantly being affectionate and has been since he was a baby. My little guy, nineteen months, won't kiss or hug unless held down and tickled like crazy and even then he's giggling and yelling No! Hes just not a kissy kind of kid, so I show him affection and cuddle when he'll let me and respect his boundaries otherwise.

iansmommy9
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:29 PM

I've gone through the same things with my son. I think it's the age. 

I tend to be more strict and consistent with the rules, so daddy is perceived as the more fun parent. Sometimes it hurts my feelings, but you can't dwell on it.

corrinacs
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:34 PM

Its a phase and I bet its because you are iwth her all day and daddy isn't.  Its a combination of the two.  At this age they will flip flop parents they enjoy at the moment.  CHances are, she will be in love with you again in a few weeks/months :)

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