My future mother in law asks us if we're "sure he's not too fat" every time she sees our son. She also makes comments about how he's "such a good size. not too big." My fiance laughs it off, but it really bothers me. My relationship with her is strained at best. We walk on eggshells with her, or she throws a tantrum. In the past, when she's told she's wrong or doesn't get her way, it's become a drawn out battle with lots of unnecessary drama.
I grew up with an eating disorder, and my mother has one as well. We're both recovered, and we've decided that the cycle ends with us. So we know first hand what kind of effect those kinds of comments can have when a child hears them constantly from the people they love as they're growing up.
What kind of body image is my son going to have for himself if he keeps hearing his grandmother ask if his parents are SURE he's not TOO fat?! I don't want our perfectly fine son growing up thinking that he can't get too big or he won't be a good size. He's 12 months old. Why in the world is she so obsessed with the idea of him being fat when he's so young?
And he's not even a pudgy kid. He wasn't a rolly polly baby. No overly pudgy cheeks (though I think those are adorable on little kids), he doesn't have pudgy legs or arms. The doctor has always said he's fine. He's a lean, highly active child.
Does anybody else have these issues, particularly with in laws or relatives with whom they have a strained relationship? How did you handle it?