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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

I'm new!! Plz help

Posted by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:19 PM
  • 8 Replies
My ds I going to b 2 on the 18th of this month!! When she doesn't get her way or disobeys us before I even put her in time out she starts hitting herself in the mouth or on her head!!!! Is she acting out? (we just had a newborn ds feb 23rd this yr) or is something else wrong?!?! This has gotten worse and is starting to worry me!!!!!! Hubz never sees it as hes military and has a civilian job!!! And everytime I try and breast feed my ds she becomes very needy and wants me to hold her. But I can't I tell her I'll hold u in a min baby I'm feeding buba right now ok. She goes ballistic!!! I'm like not even getting time to hold and spend time with my 1st baby boy!!!! Shhe even hit me or her new brother!!! I just dunno what to do!!!!! HELP!!!
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by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:19 PM
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Replies (1-8):
preacherskid
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:27 PM

She is adjusting to the new baby.  It is normal, most kids go through it.  I personally wanted to send my younger brothers back when they were born.  It is going to take time.  If you find the tantrums unacceptable, find a discipline method that works for her.  As for the general adjustment, are you able to spend any time just with her?  Maybe make bedtime a special Mommy-daughter time, or when baby brother naps play with her.  During the nursing you can put together a special "nursing time" activity basket, books, coloring pages, small toys, maybe a dvd or two that she can get out only when you are nursing the baby.  Once she realizes you still love her and she has not been replaced a majority of the behavior should resolve.

lilmilitarywife
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:35 PM
That's the thing I'm still making her a priority over my ds!! :-( it's worring me that I'm only getting breast feeding time with my newborn!! I feed change his butt and put him in swing!! I feel like she's not letting me do anything with him. The cuddling etc I give her most of my attention. We watch what she wants to most the time (I love Disney movies so it don't bother me) I play with her sing to her hold jug kiss all the above I'm just starting to loose it with her temper... I spank her butt sometimes along with the "super nanny" timeout method I give her treats ugh but her temper and baby actions r becoming too much I justdunno what to do


Quoting preacherskid:

She is adjusting to the new baby.  It is normal, most kids go through it.  I personally wanted to send my younger brothers back when they were born.  It is going to take time.  If you find the tantrums unacceptable, find a discipline method that works for her.  As for the general adjustment, are you able to spend any time just with her?  Maybe make bedtime a special Mommy-daughter time, or when baby brother naps play with her.  During the nursing you can put together a special "nursing time" activity basket, books, coloring pages, small toys, maybe a dvd or two that she can get out only when you are nursing the baby.  Once she realizes you still love her and she has not been replaced a majority of the behavior should resolve.


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preacherskid
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:49 PM


Quoting lilmilitarywife:

That's the thing I'm still making her a priority over my ds!! :-( it's worring me that I'm only getting breast feeding time with my newborn!! I feed change his butt and put him in swing!! I feel like she's not letting me do anything with him. The cuddling etc I give her most of my attention. We watch what she wants to most the time (I love Disney movies so it don't bother me) I play with her sing to her hold jug kiss all the above I'm just starting to loose it with her temper... I spank her butt sometimes along with the "super nanny" timeout method I give her treats ugh but her temper and baby actions r becoming too much I justdunno what to do


Quoting preacherskid:

She is adjusting to the new baby.  It is normal, most kids go through it.  I personally wanted to send my younger brothers back when they were born.  It is going to take time.  If you find the tantrums unacceptable, find a discipline method that works for her.  As for the general adjustment, are you able to spend any time just with her?  Maybe make bedtime a special Mommy-daughter time, or when baby brother naps play with her.  During the nursing you can put together a special "nursing time" activity basket, books, coloring pages, small toys, maybe a dvd or two that she can get out only when you are nursing the baby.  Once she realizes you still love her and she has not been replaced a majority of the behavior should resolve.


Some of this is the age, some is the new addition that does take your attention from her in her eyes.  Two year olds like to push their boundaries- they are learning about their world, and how their actions affect their world.  Pushing the boundaries tells them what is and is not appropriate.  Also at this age unless you have a mini genius she is probably not incredibly verbal, so she resorts to what she knows for communication.  For my two year old that is a combo of screeches and signing that I don't understand, which frustrates her even more.  She is feeling more things, and learning more things, and trying to express these things however she can- sometimes in ways we don't understand.  It is frustrating for us when they are saying things we can't translate, it frustrates them too.

The other part of this behavior is the new baby.  Until the baby came along she had your full attention.  Now she does not, and she is old enough to realize this.  Hang in there, it does get better.  Mine are exactly two years apart- our odd was almost fully potty trained when our ydd was born, then she fully regressed.  Went from maybe one accident a day to all in the pull up.  There are other little things- she tried getting ydd's paci even though she had never used one, clinginess and a return to separation anxiety.  At four and two now we are entering sibling rivalry.  Seems like it never ends lol.

This does get better.  She will adjust, though it takes time and patience.  You might also look up some big sibling-little sibling books or something to bring it to her level.  

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mommyofnoah208
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:52 PM
It sounds like she is still adjusting to her new baby brother and trying to share mommy. She is still so young and doesnt understand yet. The hitting herself is just acting out, i wouldnt be concerned. Maybe you can get her a new special baby and when you go to nurse or change your baby she can come sit with you and "feed" her baby a bottle or rock her baby. You guys will get in a routine soon. She will get used to him and her new life. Good luck
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.Angelica.
by Angie on Mar. 10, 2013 at 7:09 PM

bump

bhwrn1
by Brooke on Mar. 11, 2013 at 5:43 AM

Sounds like she's adjusting.

Carve out time just for her. Also, include her in the baby's care. Reward her for helping out.

jenaree
by Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 8:56 AM
Sounds like she is trying to get your attention. I would ignore it as best as possible.
lilmilitarywife
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:56 PM
she isnt a genius lol but she communicates pretty well as i taught her sign language starting at 6 months and shes reall good at useing it lol thx for the adice :-D
Quoting preacherskid:


Quoting lilmilitarywife:

That's the thing I'm still making her a priority over my ds!! :-( it's worring me that I'm only getting breast feeding time with my newborn!! I feed change his butt and put him in swing!! I feel like she's not letting me do anything with him. The cuddling etc I give her most of my attention. We watch what she wants to most the time (I love Disney movies so it don't bother me) I play with her sing to her hold jug kiss all the above I'm just starting to loose it with her temper... I spank her butt sometimes along with the "super nanny" timeout method I give her treats ugh but her temper and baby actions r becoming too much I justdunno what to do


Quoting preacherskid:

She is adjusting to the new baby.  It is normal, most kids go through it.  I personally wanted to send my younger brothers back when they were born.  It is going to take time.  If you find the tantrums unacceptable, find a discipline method that works for her.  As for the general adjustment, are you able to spend any time just with her?  Maybe make bedtime a special Mommy-daughter time, or when baby brother naps play with her.  During the nursing you can put together a special "nursing time" activity basket, books, coloring pages, small toys, maybe a dvd or two that she can get out only when you are nursing the baby.  Once she realizes you still love her and she has not been replaced a majority of the behavior should resolve.


Some of this is the age, some is the new addition that does take your attention from her in her eyes.  Two year olds like to push their boundaries- they are learning about their world, and how their actions affect their world.  Pushing the boundaries tells them what is and is not appropriate.  Also at this age unless you have a mini genius she is probably not incredibly verbal, so she resorts to what she knows for communication.  For my two year old that is a combo of screeches and signing that I don't understand, which frustrates her even more.  She is feeling more things, and learning more things, and trying to express these things however she can- sometimes in ways we don't understand.  It is frustrating for us when they are saying things we can't translate, it frustrates them too.

The other part of this behavior is the new baby.  Until the baby came along she had your full attention.  Now she does not, and she is old enough to realize this.  Hang in there, it does get better.  Mine are exactly two years apart- our odd was almost fully potty trained when our ydd was born, then she fully regressed.  Went from maybe one accident a day to all in the pull up.  There are other little things- she tried getting ydd's paci even though she had never used one, clinginess and a return to separation anxiety.  At four and two now we are entering sibling rivalry.  Seems like it never ends lol.

This does get better.  She will adjust, though it takes time and patience.  You might also look up some big sibling-little sibling books or something to bring it to her level.  


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