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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

I need some help... potty trouble

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:09 PM
  • 14 Replies

Hello, 

I don't usually post but I need some help. 

I have a 5 year old boy. He wasn't fully potty trained until about 4.5

He's now going to preschool. He's in pre k. 

When he first started, everything was fine. I didn't get any reports about potty issues. Then, about 2 months ago they complained that he doesn't wipe his own butt. He doesn't ask for help, he will just sit in the bathroom and wait for someone to notice he's been in there for a while. 

They said I need to try getting him to wipe on his own at home. So, I started telling him he needs to learn to wipe his own butt. I showed him how. He refused at first and then finally tried. It was like he was half assing it. He wouldn't wipe correctly and he'd end up getting it all over the place so I had to take over and clean him up. 

This went on for a couple of weeks. 

I started getting complaints at school about him having accidents and now not even making it to the potty on time. 

I felt like maybe he was regressing and wasn't ready to wipe on his own. I talked with the teachers and they agreed that they didn't want him having accidents or feeling bad so they said they would help him and I went back to just wiping for him. 

Today, I went to pick him up and apparently he had an accident while he was in "rug" time. One of the teachers could smell it and asked if he had to go, or already had. He said no. They asked him a couple more times and he still said no. They checked and yup, he already went in his pants. 

I talked with the teacher and she thinks we should go back to having him wipe again. She also suggested I talk to his doctor, which I plan on. 

I just don't get it. Has anyone else had a hard time getting their child to wipe on their own? My oldest son just got it and had no problems. 

I'm not sure what to do. Of course I know he needs to wipe himself, I just thought that since he did potty train so late, he'd be a little later with the wiping too. 

Any advice? Thanks in advance. 


by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:22 PM

My son didn't start wiping himself until I forced the issue this last summer before K started (he was 5 1/2).  I always preferred to do it so I knew he was clean AND wasn't using a whole package of flushable wipes.

Off and on since about 4 1/2 (he trained at 3 1/2) he has poop accident phases.  They sort of come and go for various reasons, 1 of which is constipation.  A lot of your story sounded so familiar but wiping wasn't the issue for my son.  It sounds like your son may be embarrassed to ask for help and scared to do it himself so he just avoids it until he can't hold it any longer.  If this is the case I think some reassurance may be needed from you and his teachers so he feels safe to ask for help.  Maybe he needs to tell them before he heads to the potty so they can come check on him after a min or 2 and see if he needs any help.  I don't think it sounds like a medical issue at all but I'm no expert :)

xoxRachelxox
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:24 PM

Thank you. 

I have told him that it's okay to ask for help and his teachers let him know as well. 

I don't know, maybe I need to try a reward system for it? See if maybe that helps?

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

My son didn't start wiping himself until I forced the issue this last summer before K started (he was 5 1/2).  I always preferred to do it so I knew he was clean AND wasn't using a whole package of flushable wipes.

Off and on since about 4 1/2 (he trained at 3 1/2) he has poop accident phases.  They sort of come and go for various reasons, 1 of which is constipation.  A lot of your story sounded so familiar but wiping wasn't the issue for my son.  It sounds like your son may be embarrassed to ask for help and scared to do it himself so he just avoids it until he can't hold it any longer.  If this is the case I think some reassurance may be needed from you and his teachers so he feels safe to ask for help.  Maybe he needs to tell them before he heads to the potty so they can come check on him after a min or 2 and see if he needs any help.  I don't think it sounds like a medical issue at all but I'm no expert :)


Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:28 PM

I would just continue with the reassurance then.  You can say "try yourself and then I'll check you to make sure you are clean" and just let him know you are there for him.  Potty training isn't always a success-only journey.  Sometimes we have to take a step back and go back to basics.  A reward system sounds like a great idea!  Have him work toward something of his choice and then give him a sticker every time he makes it to the potty in time.  Have his teachers report back so you can reward his school success too!

I don't think this applies to you, based on what you have said, but you could also look up encopresis just to see.  Our pedi tried to say that was what my son had but the definition didn't fit us at all.  No harm in crossing it off the list though. 


Quoting xoxRachelxox:

Thank you. 

I have told him that it's okay to ask for help and his teachers let him know as well. 

I don't know, maybe I need to try a reward system for it? See if maybe that helps?

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

My son didn't start wiping himself until I forced the issue this last summer before K started (he was 5 1/2).  I always preferred to do it so I knew he was clean AND wasn't using a whole package of flushable wipes.

Off and on since about 4 1/2 (he trained at 3 1/2) he has poop accident phases.  They sort of come and go for various reasons, 1 of which is constipation.  A lot of your story sounded so familiar but wiping wasn't the issue for my son.  It sounds like your son may be embarrassed to ask for help and scared to do it himself so he just avoids it until he can't hold it any longer.  If this is the case I think some reassurance may be needed from you and his teachers so he feels safe to ask for help.  Maybe he needs to tell them before he heads to the potty so they can come check on him after a min or 2 and see if he needs any help.  I don't think it sounds like a medical issue at all but I'm no expert :)



 

xoxRachelxox
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:41 PM

I will look into that! Thanks for your help :) 

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

I would just continue with the reassurance then.  You can say "try yourself and then I'll check you to make sure you are clean" and just let him know you are there for him.  Potty training isn't always a success-only journey.  Sometimes we have to take a step back and go back to basics.  A reward system sounds like a great idea!  Have him work toward something of his choice and then give him a sticker every time he makes it to the potty in time.  Have his teachers report back so you can reward his school success too!

I don't think this applies to you, based on what you have said, but you could also look up encopresis just to see.  Our pedi tried to say that was what my son had but the definition didn't fit us at all.  No harm in crossing it off the list though. 




xoxRachelxox
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:43 PM

I looked into that and it doesn't seem like something he has. He was going on the potty for the longest time without problem. It's just more the not wanting to wipe himself that's the issue. 

reyreybella01
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:24 PM
Maybe try those flushable wipes. My 3 yr old daughter has the opposite problem she uses too much tp and clog the toilet.
copperswifey
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 7:57 PM

My kids were always fine with wiping unless they went number 2 then they didn't like to do it. I teach 3k and the kids when they go number 2 will ask me to wipe them. I think it's normal.  We had a kid who out of the blue starting having accidents. He always told us when he had to go so we were all baffled when it started happening. We told his Grandma to keep on eye on him at home and to tell him that it's ok to let people know when you have to go to the bathroom. If it kept happening then we recommended her taking him to the doctor to make sure it wasn't a bladder problem or something else. After a week he stopped having accidents and has been fine ever since. I hope you figure it out. Good luck! :)

sumannie
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Sounds pretty normal apparently and its kind of like a phase I guess. Just keep encouraging him. Does he feel like hes raw or anything or is it just he feels like he can't do it right and is maybe embarrassed? Just trying to help.

SINGLEMOM570
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:11 PM

HI MY NAME IS TERESA AND WEN MYSON START TO USE THE POTTY I GOT THINGS TO PUT IN THE POTTY AND THEY LOOK LIKE CHEERIOS AND HE DOES WORK

 

xoxRachelxox
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:29 AM

We have those wipes, we also sent some into school with him too. We had the same problem at school with him using too much toilet paper. We've always used them at home so I figured it might help to keep some at school. Guess not. 

Quoting reyreybella01:

Maybe try those flushable wipes. My 3 yr old daughter has the opposite problem she uses too much tp and clog the toilet.


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