Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Help me please, my daughter is out of control EDIT

Posted by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:18 PM
  • 37 Replies

My 3 year old daughter is out of control. We consistently punish her when she throws her fits. Lately, she is screaming at us, and trying to hit us, and pinches and scratches when things don't go her way. I really don't know what to do with her anymore. My 5 year old son has autism, and he doesn't even behave this way. It is getting to the point where I can't even go out with her for fear she will scream and cause a scene. Please tell me what I'm doing wrong! I put her in time out, take away all her toys, and I'm seriously considering spanking. I really don't want to. Am I the only one with a toddler like this? I keep thinking she will grow out of it, but she will be 4 in October and I'm so scared that this will continue.


EDIT: Thanks for the advice. We have had a better couple of days. I'm trying some of the suggestions everyone has made. As for some of you asking if she has autism, she does not. My 5 year old son has low functioning autism, so I'd know it if I saw it. Other than her tantrums, she is a "normal" 3 year old girl. She socially engages with other children and with adults. She responds to her name and makes eye contact. She has no speech delays, and no fine or gross motor delays. She has no sensory issues. She also engages in imaginitive play with me, other adults, other children, or off by herself. She was potty trained in less than a month. So no autism. No regression of skills. She just has horrible tantrums when she doesn't get her way, it doesn't mean she has autism. Thanks for all your help!

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:18 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
HamBergerMama
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:24 PM
Does she get any/a lot of one on one time with you or her dad? Whenever our kids (ages 1-3) start really acting out, in addition to punishing the behavior we cut out TV, and take them on one on one "dates" with us. That seems to really help the underlying issues
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
alexareh
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:44 PM
3 moms liked this

Put up a pack and play and if she so much as looks at you wrong stick her little butt in there walk away and come back 3 mins later. If she tries to hit you when you get her out or screams at you 3 more mins...

bekalynne440
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Catch her at the beginning of her temper and put her in time out away from everyone.

Just as important though is to make sure you have one on one good time with her and praise her whenever you can find opportunity.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
inkedmomma10
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:02 AM
2 moms liked this
Change the status quo. If she's upset and your upset because of it, it will get worse. My daughter was pretty horrifying with tantrums. After trying everything (even spanking) I've found that remaining calm, smiling at her or dancing like a fool piques her interest and makes her rethink why she's even losing it. If that didn't work after 5 minutes I would gently but firmly hold her by the upper arms, blow on her face and repeat to her to look at me, listen to me. Rarely if that didn't work she would end up in her completely childproof room until she calmed down. I was in doubt this would work but with persistence it actually is like a miracle! And now it doesn't take much to snap her out of it. Consistency is KEY to discipline!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kailu1835
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:04 AM
2 moms liked this

So here's something that may seem radical.  Ignore her tantrums.  Punishing her gives them power, because it makes you pay attention to her.  So walk away.  Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to.  Once the tantrums begin to lose their power, she will get bored with them.  Really, taking away her things is not going to have any affect, because she isn't going to associate her actions with the consequences you've given.

HamBergerMama
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:56 AM
Yes this goes back to the attention she is getting. If she gets lots of positive personal attention, (if that's the cause) she won't have to through fits for attention


Quoting kailu1835:

So here's something that may seem radical.  Ignore her tantrums.  Punishing her gives them power, because it makes you pay attention to her.  So walk away.  Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to.  Once the tantrums begin to lose their power, she will get bored with them.  Really, taking away her things is not going to have any affect, because she isn't going to associate her actions with the consequences you've given.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
nurbabe82
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:58 AM

 

Quoting kailu1835:

So here's something that may seem radical.  Ignore her tantrums.  Punishing her gives them power, because it makes you pay attention to her.  So walk away.  Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to.  Once the tantrums begin to lose their power, she will get bored with them.  Really, taking away her things is not going to have any affect, because she isn't going to associate her actions with the consequences you've given.

 

heyiitsang84
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:59 AM
1 mom liked this

crack her ass

kailu1835
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:41 AM
4 moms liked this

Yes because physically hurting her in response to her physically hurting them is oh so logical.

<giant eye roll>

Quoting heyiitsang84:

crack her ass


babiesbabybaby development

TheLadyAmalthea
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:58 AM

Yes, she spends all day with me since my son is at school and I stay home. I do activities with her and go places with her and always take time out to play whatever she wants to play. My husband also takes her out and has one on one time with her as well. I also only let her watch 30-60 minutes of tv a day, unless she is being bad, then she doesn't watch tv.

Quoting HamBergerMama:

Does she get any/a lot of one on one time with you or her dad? Whenever our kids (ages 1-3) start really acting out, in addition to punishing the behavior we cut out TV, and take them on one on one "dates" with us. That seems to really help the underlying issues


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN