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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Violent 15 month old? Is this normal?!

Is anyone having problems with their LO being borderline violent? When DS throws tantrums he will start hitting himself in the head and banging his head against whatever is near, the wall, the TV stand, his chair, me. Whatever is handy. He is also bad about biting, pinching, scratching and hitting when he's mad. The past few days he has been trying to poke my eyes and when he was throwing a tantrum today he put a hand on each of my temple and put his thumbs on my eyes and tried to push like he wanted to gouge my eyes out! I asked my mom and she said to ask his doctor at his next appointment (in two weeks). So I'll be sure to be talking about it then, but until then, I need reassurance. Did anyone else have problems like this? even with your older LO's, did they turn out ok? Was it just a phase or should I be worried? I honestly don't know where he comes up with some of this behavior. He's sweet as pie when he's happy but when he's mad or tired he turns into a demon baby that I can't control. I've tried time outs, swats on the butt (as a last resort), ignoring it, soothing him...I just don't know what to do! Is this normal or what? I'm a first timer.

CafeMom Tickers
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 6:58 PM
Replies (11-20):
Cooperfamily
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:14 PM
1 mom liked this
Lol I'm excited to finish the book now. My 4 yr old son developmental doctor recommended it after he was diagnosed as autistic. So I'm very excited about it now lol.


Quoting GremlinMom:

I love it! They say its for older kids but I figured, why not start early and prevent the behavior altogether? Theyve done pretty good with it. I really learned a lot about kids by reading it. My mom tries to use it on my 9 yr old brother but claims it doesnt work for him, but it does when I use it on him. You HAVE to stay calm and be consistant. Just like it says. TAke time to think about different situations so you are prepared to act calmly and correctly. Grocery stores are what get me. As much as I try to keep snacks and toys for them, sometimes I cant stop the tantrums and I refuse to leave the store. So... >.< lol, good luck with the Magic ;)

Quoting Cooperfamily:

You are using the 1-2-3 magic!!! Lol. I just got the book :-)





Quoting GremlinMom:

I read that its all about how you say what you need to say. This is where he needs to be redirected. Now dont mistake me for a snooty high horse here, I am training my two yr old twins out of unlearned violent habits. Simply and CALMLY say "No, ______ is not ok." Sometimes just saying that instead of what he is doing is ok, because the long words will lose him. Like saying "hitting is not ok" or pinching, scratching, biting, is not ok. You would lose his attention if you said, "no, trying to gauge out mommys eyes is not ok." Never say, you dont hit mommy", you dont want to tell him what to do, because it turns into a choice. Behave, or dont. Never be specific on who not to do it to, because he will find another "victim", make sense? 

Now at that age, the twins are two as of last week, I started the counting method. In short, it is not "CUT THAT OUT! ONE! TWO! THREE! GO TO TIME OUT! NOWWWWW! GO! STOP! GO TO YOUR ROOM! 

You stay calm, and firm. counting is for STOP behaviour. If you want him to stop whining, hitting, throwing a "gimme" tantrum, pinching, etc. Count. Simply say "no, hitting is not ok. Thats ONE." Give him some time to correct his behavior, (like a few seconds, you can usually judge what they are choosing to do quickly) "thats TWO", some more time, "thats THREE, time out for one minute." And because he is violent, put him in his room, with a baby gate maybe? So you can watch him. Maybe get a timer and set it to one minute. Tell him "when it goes BEEP BEEP BEEP your time out is over and its time to behave." He really wont understand much of what youre saying, but now is the tiem to practice for when he does. But soon he will pick up the way it works. He is mean, one means stop, if he doesnt stop, stay in my room, now be good. The time out is to give him some space to calm down and compose himself. ALl you need to do is stop freaking out at his behavior and teach him that it is not acceptable. GOOD LUCK





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MamaLioness2012
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:14 PM

He bites himself on accident sometimes when he goes to bite me and I remove the intended body part and he still goes on and ends up biting himself. Then he cried because it hurt and I tell him "see? that hurts. Mommy doesn't like it either"

Quoting Mama_Dolly:

my son when he had tantrums will try to bite you or himself... 


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lisahappymom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:28 PM

I'm not a doctor or a nutrutionist, but I'm convinced that the additives and chemicals in food are really messing with our kids' abilities to regulate their behavior.  For the next three days try feeding him only things that are organic and non-processed, like fruit, organic cereal, organic milk, organic cheese, whole wheat pasta, farm raised meat, etc.  Be sure to especially elininate any food that are artificially colored, flavored, or with corn syrup.  It might be hard, but eliminating those foods could really make him a different, calmer kid.  Good luck!

Mama_Dolly
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:38 PM

thats usually what happends with ds, too.. but lately he has been biting himself of purpose...

Ive gotten advice about 'taking away their hands' (just holding theirs for a couple of mins...) it takes one time of doing this now and he usually gets bored and goes on to something else... but at first its took a few times...

Quoting MamaLioness2012:

He bites himself on accident sometimes when he goes to bite me and I remove the intended body part and he still goes on and ends up biting himself. Then he cried because it hurt and I tell him "see? that hurts. Mommy doesn't like it either"

Quoting Mama_Dolly:

my son when he had tantrums will try to bite you or himself... 



MamaLioness2012
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:48 PM

I love this idea and he already gets organic milk but we're very low income and it's very hard for us to get all organic food like that, especially when we don't have anything like that in our cupboards now to get us started. I do cook as healthy as I can though and he gets a lot of fruits and veggies.

Quoting lisahappymom:

I'm not a doctor or a nutrutionist, but I'm convinced that the additives and chemicals in food are really messing with our kids' abilities to regulate their behavior.  For the next three days try feeding him only things that are organic and non-processed, like fruit, organic cereal, organic milk, organic cheese, whole wheat pasta, farm raised meat, etc.  Be sure to especially elininate any food that are artificially colored, flavored, or with corn syrup.  It might be hard, but eliminating those foods could really make him a different, calmer kid.  Good luck!


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.Angelica.
by Angie on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:04 PM
Good luck, Hailey mostly just pushes us away and rolls around on the floor crying when she is upset.
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la_bella_vita
by Bella on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:56 PM

 Bump

lisahappymom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:47 AM

Yes, it's a shame that it's so expensive to eat real food without all that junk in it that makes our brains go haywire.

Good luck!

Quoting MamaLioness2012:

I love this idea and he already gets organic milk but we're very low income and it's very hard for us to get all organic food like that, especially when we don't have anything like that in our cupboards now to get us started. I do cook as healthy as I can though and he gets a lot of fruits and veggies.

Quoting lisahappymom:

I'm not a doctor or a nutrutionist, but I'm convinced that the additives and chemicals in food are really messing with our kids' abilities to regulate their behavior.  For the next three days try feeding him only things that are organic and non-processed, like fruit, organic cereal, organic milk, organic cheese, whole wheat pasta, farm raised meat, etc.  Be sure to especially elininate any food that are artificially colored, flavored, or with corn syrup.  It might be hard, but eliminating those foods could really make him a different, calmer kid.  Good luck!



MrsLondon
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:46 PM

I don't think it's normal for him to go to the extent that he goes to. I would definitely explore professional help for him. I hope things get better for you guys!

PEEK05
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:22 PM

Sorry, no.  My kids have never really been violent.  I would walk away from your child when he is behaving that way and tell him you don't play with little boys who hurt their mommy, re-direct them to something else, and walk away.  Another option if he is not in full freak out mode is to take his hands, rub them down your face gently, and tell him to use gentle or nice touches.  Do that consistently.  I do this with my children when they are learning appropriate touches around that age and after a couple of weeks, they just do it themselves. They will rub their siblings face or mine, or pat their hair, and say "nice" lol.

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