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Advice Needed: My step daughter is turning five in one month My...

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:26 PM
  • 9 Replies

My step daughter is turning five in one month. My husband went to get both his children from their biological mother about 3 months ago, because she was doing drugs, partying, leaving the kids anywhere and everywhere, and just being an irresponsible mother in general. Anyway, my point is that they were hardly worked with when it came to learning. For the past few months, I have been trying to teach her ABC's, colors, numbers, shapes, just basic things. Everytime I sit with her to try and teach her, she just shuts down and will not even attempt to try at all. I have made flash cards, bought educational videos (which don't hold her attention for more than one minute), invented games, songs, NOTHING works. She just WILL NOT TRY! Every single time I even attempt to help her learn, she throws a fit, cries, screams, hits, kicks, and runs to her room, all the while insulting me in every way she can think of. I am at the end of my rope, and have completely run out of options. Has anyone ever had this problem, or even seen this before? It is absolutely stressful, and I have never been so desperate for answers.

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:26 PM
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Replies (1-9):
emmiet
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:28 PM

BUMP!

Matriarch87
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:29 PM
maybe try to not make it a lesson. dont have learning time. like if your in the car ask her to count the red ones go by. or if your in the store ask her about the shape of an item....try making it random...
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Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:41 PM

my kids don't like it when I "school" them.  they never have.  my son learned his ABCs from Sesame Street and my daughter learned them from Super Why.  We worked on colors in the produce section or from their blocks "hand me the blue block, please".  Numbers from elevators, etc.

At 5, you may consider having her evaluated for head start in your school district OR, if you can afford it, enrolling her in a private preschool.

Poisongirl98
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:19 PM
I agree with seeing if she'll qualify for Head Start or some other kind of at-risk preschool, although at this point in the school year they're probably already full. You may want to even call your school district to see if they offer free screenings. Also, if you're able to you may want to look into some sort of counseling for her. It sounds like she was neglected for who knows how long while living with her mother.
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LACHESIS
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:41 PM
1 mom liked this

You may want to wait a year as well. No shame in that. 

mrs.hartman12
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:45 PM

A walk to the park is one of the best learning opportunities I have found with my DD. I point out things like the red stop sign, green leafs, ect and make it a game. Also the leapfrog hand held game (looks like a game boy) is a surprisingly great learning tool. My daughter had a huge jump start on letters and numbers with that thing. 

mrs.hartman12
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:47 PM

Also remember 5 is still young and they do a lot of learning through play. My state even makes it an option to enroll a child into school before the age of 7. 

Gooberzilla
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:52 PM
I suggest play rather than "teach". While you are playing you can do lots of labeling-"lets put the blue dress on dolly", "look, you stacked 4, 1-2-3-4, blocks!" And start reading to her every day. While you are reading you can point out letters and the sounds they make. Coloring and drawing are great for prek skills too (point out shapes, colors, etc) and there are tons of coloring pages/activity books that teach pre-reading skills. My DD is 4 and is sounding out words but not really interested in reading. She learned letters and phonics from The Letter Factory when she was about 2. It's a great DVD. If your DSD isn't interested in learning activities, then incorporate learning into games and play.
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Roo1234
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:03 PM

Stop trying to make her "learn:"  

Take her out and explore, introduce the ideas in less structured ways that allow her to show you what she does know and makes her more receptive to learning new things.

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