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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

what can i do

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:09 AM
  • 7 Replies
dd will be 4 in august. she really gates going to her dads. her teacher showed concern today and in at a loss at what to do about it. when i pick her up from dad shes says she had fun and that they played but then she doesnt want to go with him again. we have a 50/50 split.
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by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:09 AM
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Replies (1-7):
BeKind2All
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:23 AM

I worry about the same thing when my 2 year old grandson leaves my house (he and his mom-my daughter-live with me temporarily) with his daddy. They have 50/50. He doesn't want to leave but when my daughter and grandson talk on the phone or Facetime he seems happy. He is ALWAYS happy to leave daddy to come back with mommy but gives daddy tons of hugs and kisses. Then the next time, he is sad to leave again. 

It's just a sad situation. It is very hard on the parents! However, providing that your daughter's daddy is good to her and treats her well, it is extremely important to have him in her life. Don't you agree?

mommy06and09
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:29 AM
i agree but im not sure how good he treats her. he was an ass to my older child (not his) when we were together. dd doesnt even kiss him goodbye. she barely looks at him when she leaves him. she always comes running to me. im just confused. i agree that its important for a child to have both parents as long as the parents are good to the children.
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Roo1234
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:33 AM

Frankly, for all you know, she says to her dad that she doesn't want to go to your house. 

These types of constant transitions are hard for kids of any age.  Depending on how new this arrangement is, it may take time for her to find a rhythm and frankly, she may come back to this feeling again and again.  For some kids It is horrible to have two homes, to not have all your posessions with you all the time, do always feel like a "visitor"

ambermarie2006
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:33 AM
Not much you can do. My 4 year old used to cry every time she left me or her dad, we have 50/50 of our 3 kids. It turned out to be separation anxiety and she's been doing much better the last 6 months. Sometimes we meet up halfway through each other's time with the kids in order to see them.
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corrinacs
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:37 AM

Talk to her about it.  When she says she doesn't want to go, ask her bout it when you get home (not in her dad's sight).  She's probably saying she's having fun becauase he's there.  But obviously something is going on.

It coudl be as simple as she doesn't want to move around all the time.  Some kids like the same ole' every day, and the 50/50 split could be causing a lot of frustration.

Good luck!

mommy06and09
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:46 AM
if that was the case why would daycare tell me she cried for me when dad picked up last week? i wasnt there, nor was she expecting me. dad drops her off and picks her up on fridays every week. i send her to dads house on thursday and pick her up on either sunday or monday alternating every week. thats why i am concerned. i was heartbroken before i heard that, now i just dont know any more.


Quoting Roo1234:

Frankly, for all you know, she says to her dad that she doesn't want to go to your house. 

These types of constant transitions are hard for kids of any age.  Depending on how new this arrangement is, it may take time for her to find a rhythm and frankly, she may come back to this feeling again and again.  For some kids It is horrible to have two homes, to not have all your posessions with you all the time, do always feel like a "visitor"


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.Angelica.
by Angie on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:53 AM

my son does something similar. he likes going to visit my parents but getting him to go he fights. he says he has fun but doesn't want to go back. I think it's just them not wanting to be away from home/mom

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