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Advice needed!!

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:00 PM
  • 8 Replies
My 18 month old daughter is so sweet and loving, but lately has been very defiant and testing her boundaries. Just in the last month or so she's been screaming her head off whenever we put her in a shopping cart or in a high chair at a restaurant. She screams so loud and gets so upset, my husband and I feel like we have to either give in and pick her up or leave what we are doing. It makes running errands or going out to eat pretty much impossible. Has anyone else experienced this or has any advice on how to correct her without making a huge scene in public?
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by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:00 PM
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Replies (1-8):
OakesMama
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:14 PM

unfortunatley my fix was a huge scene. My oldest child hated walmart from the time he was 9 months he would start screaming upon entering the store until we exited, I got in the habbit of running. by the time he was 3 I had had enough, I just wanted to shop, so I decided to do the opposite that I had ever done. I decided to stay IN the store until he stopped screaming and was calm. That was 3 hours. I had a few nice comments and a lot of negative. But when he stopped I left, and we never had an issue again.  

Since then I have had 4 more children. I use the same method but from a younger age and a bit differently. If I put my DD in the cart and she screams, I will leave her there until she takes a break to catch her breath, then I pick her up immediatley and praise her for being so quiet. I have done this with all 4 younger children, ignore the offensive behavior and reward the desired behavior with the reaction they wanted when they were screaming. I have VERY well behaved children and I can take all 5 grocery shopping with me. The only time I have a problem is if I have a little one in training, currently my 12 month old :) Good Luck :)  

KanPsMommy
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:26 PM

Unfortunately this comes with the territory of "terrible twos" and kids learning they have very little control over what happens around them. I wouldn't suggest letting your kid have a melt down while at dinner because its not fair to everyone around you to have to deal with her tantrum as well, so remove her to the bathroom or outside until she has calmed down. If she refuses have DH take the meal to go. As far as going shopping, same thing. My DD did this once in the store. I asked an employee to tend to my things I'd be back. Took her home to her father. And left again to finish my shopping. She realized I wasn't playing around and stopped throwing tantrums all together. She's old enough to start making smaller decisions on her own, like what color shirt, or if she drinks juice/water/milk. If you let her exercise a little bit of freedom elsewhere in her life maybe sitting down to dinner in public and shopping might not be so much for her.

oandcmommy
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:08 PM
Thanks for the advice, I feel much better knowing I'm not the only one! I'm definitely going to try your suggestion oakesmama and praise her when she's quiet. Unfortunately, until we get the eating out thing fixed, I think we are going to get it to go for a while. I'm really thinking this is the start of the "terrible twos" and it makes me sad because I'm not sure where my sweet little girl has gone. I'm afraid when the new baby comes, things are just going to get a lot worse.
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PEEK05
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:15 PM

Can she walk instead of use a shopping cart? What about a booster seat at the table on a bench instead of a high chair? Maybe she is ready for a little bit more mature responsibilities.

oandcmommy
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:31 PM
We've tried the booster seat and she just wants to walk across the booth and try to climb on the table. If she's not strapped into something, she won't sit still. The walking thing is exactly what she wants to do when she doesn't want to sit in the cart but the problem with walking is that she is interested in every single thing on the shelves. She pulls it down and wants to carry it around. Fine if we are in a toy store or something but Walmart and the grocery store, it isn't all that good. It took us an hour and a half to get through buy buy baby the other day and that was with DH's help.

I guess our problem is that we are having a power struggle. She wants to be independent and do everything on her own, but she's still too little to let her have full run.
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la_bella_vita
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:02 PM

 Bump

.Angelica.
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:20 PM

it's pretty normal for the age. ignoring the tantrums at home worked for my son. he was pretty good in public because he was shy though.

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:36 PM

my dd went thru that phase.  unfortunately, i just ignored her and let her scream.  it usually only lasted a min or 2 and then she was fine.  my suggestion is bring distractions for the cart.

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