Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

tattle tailing... HELP

Posted by on May. 18, 2013 at 4:59 PM
  • 6 Replies

My husband and I are about to go crazy.  My 4yr. old Dd is a habitual tattle tail! She literally comes to myself or my husband every few minutes to tell on her little brother, the cat, her cousins and has even begun telling on my husband to me or me to my husband. It is out of control, if it was because someone was actually doing something wrong everytime it wouldnt be as big a deal but she will tell on anyone for anything!

ex. Mom! Jonathan is eating...

Daddy said no...

 Mommmy gave Jonathan a cup. 

Or if someone has something she wants or thinks they shouldnt have she is asking us why we gave it to them.

and of course theres the mom or dad so-and-so did this to me, which we handle with by either timeout or speaking to the child who did something wrong.

I just dont know what to do with her anymore, we are constantly telling her not to tell on others for things that she shouldnt  and making her sit down and not play for a few minutes until she can stop and having talks with her about it, asking her why she is always doing this. 

Please help us! What can we do to stop this behavior?

by on May. 18, 2013 at 4:59 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on May. 18, 2013 at 5:53 PM

 This is her way of engaging you.  Pay lots of attention to her when she's exhibiting desirable behaviors.  Acknowledge her with smiles and eye contact when she's quietly playing by herself or coloring carefully or walking so nicely on stairs.  Surprise her with gratitude and compliments when she least expects it...like 10-15 times in a day, at first. 

Then, get in the habit of non-verbally shushing her away without eye contact when she "tattles." 

.Angelica.
by Angie on May. 18, 2013 at 6:18 PM
1 mom liked this

bump

PEEK05
by on May. 18, 2013 at 9:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry I'm not sure but here is a bump.

Jen0911
by on May. 19, 2013 at 1:12 AM


I keep reading its a way to get attention.

 We do all of these with her and spend time with both her and her brother and just her. She gets tons of attention from us as well as both our families. We are a very hands on family with all of the kids. If she does something like a big girl we tell her what a good job she is doing or what a good sister she is being by helping her brother and ect. I've been doing some reading on it and it seems like most things  i read are saying that its a child knowing that there are right and wrong things to do and it is very black and white at this age so anything they know or feel is wrong or not fair they tell you about it because they dont know the difference between what needs to be addressed and what doesnt 

ex Mommy he hit me. Should be addressed and delt with

Mommy he's touching my toy. Doesnt necessarily need your involvement.

I guess its a part of growing up *sigh* I just wish there was a way to get her to understand what she shoud and shouldnt tell. I've read about a Teddy Bear and using that the rules are if its not blood barf or being hurt tell it to the teddy bear. maybe it is something we'll try.

Thanks for the advise!

Quoting Bieg9093:

 This is her way of engaging you.  Pay lots of attention to her when she's exhibiting desirable behaviors.  Acknowledge her with smiles and eye contact when she's quietly playing by herself or coloring carefully or walking so nicely on stairs.  Surprise her with gratitude and compliments when she least expects it...like 10-15 times in a day, at first. 

Then, get in the habit of non-verbally shushing her away without eye contact when she "tattles." 



ardiaxe
by Bronze Member on May. 19, 2013 at 3:27 AM
My 4 almost 5 year old does this, especially when he has a playmate. " mom D is acting like a dinosaur and roaring" I just tell him to roar back and off he goes. I'm not sure why he does it, but to me it seems like he is not sure of what's appropriate or inappropriate socially and so he questions it by tattling. I always give him the appropriate answer and he seems happiest that way. I personally do not want to discourage it because it's important to speak up when it really matters, I want him to know that I will always listen no matter how minor.
sophiesmom07
by on May. 20, 2013 at 6:29 PM

Hmm,gosh, really not sure. I think it's pretty normal for that age.  My dd is 6 and does it a lot. Hard to explain the difference of when it is o.k to tell and when it's not.  When she comes to tattle, don't give it attention, just say "Mhhmmm" if it's something you feel you need to address, wait a minute or so and then approach the other child, so that she doesn't get the satisfaction of you reacting to the telling.   Hang in there, more than likely she will outgrow it. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN