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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Concerned mom

Posted by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:09 PM
  • 4 Replies

My son was born when i was 7 months pregnant when an accidental hole was punctered in my water when the nurse was trying to move him off my siatic nerve when i went in to the doctors in horrible pain , for three days with my water already broken they kept me from having labor by pumping me with magnesium until he just wouldnt stay in. he was in the nicu for 1 1/2 months because he never learned to suck and was on a feeding tube , My last post i posted about my son turning  two now and not eating, doctors kept telling me from ages 1+ he was a picky eater and as he got older he would grow out of it or understand me enough that i could take the bottle away or they kept telling me because he was born so early that he would be a few months behind. he is now two and  can only drink out of a bottle and the same bottle that he has had forever now, he doesnt know how to physically use a sippy cup and he will not eat food, he will put food to his mouth but only to lick it and when he chews he gags and never swallows, he is not a picky eater he literally can not eat. I have been getting so overwhelmed with these doctors ive been to so many but i feel like they dont get it. Recently his eating has not been the only problem, as he has gotten older and milestones have come that he has not gotten to i am starting to get concerened . in my last post about the eating people mentioned he needed a eating therapist to work with him but now i fear it is much more deeper. my son can literally not use a fork or knife , understands me only enough that i can call him and he will come but i cant ask him something, i cant be like are you hungry and get a yes or no. he doesnt speak much physical words but is constantly baby babaling and when he does speak it is not clear, i see other two year olds can say im hungry or little sentences and he can not, he can say pretty much mom dad bottle and no, very very basic things. my son is very smart mentally though as at two years old he can literally work every electronic in the house and he understands how to take things apart and buid things i feel most two years can not. lately my other concern is he has gotten so out of control way past terrible twos, no amount of spanking, timeouts, yelling or taking away from toys has done anything, they dont even seem to phase him and he doesnt seem to understand what he is doing is wrong or bad, he freaks out over the littlest things , i tried to give him a new tooth brush the other day and i literally had to hold his arms down from swinging just to brush his teeth, little tasks like changing is diaper, or getting him dressed, or even trying to talk to him escalades into him screaming throwing himself back and just freaking out. ive tried so many different ways to disapline  him that i feel its not a form of acting out but that hes trying to communicate and he doesnt know how, i know your not supposed to compare your kids to others but its hard to see my son not be able to do things like eat and talk and just be good that  a child much younger than him can do,  my husband and i are so overwhelemed we literally can not take him in public, just a few months ago i could bring him places and now everything is awful, we were even asked to leave a resturant last week because he was screaming and distrurbing the other guest. my doctor now has told me to take him to a nuerologist but left it at that she didnt say maybe we should look into this or it could possibly be that she just handed me a card, im freaked out to take him and people all around me keep saying maybe its adhd or hes autistic and people look at me and tell me i need to get a grip on m child when they really dont understand the core of it . i cant get my son into the nuerologist until almost early september as there is no openings, is anyone else going through this or knows about this? Sorry about the horrible misspelling but my son is on my lap trying to type as i type! thank you all for reading my posts! 

by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:09 PM
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Replies (1-4):
mrsniebo
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:43 PM
I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time with your son. I don't have experience with this, but maybe he could be seen for early intervention. Hopefully someone else will be able to give better advice.
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Poisongirl98
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 12:32 AM
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First of all, your pediatrician is horrible and really should've been keeping a better eye on him since he was born 2 months early. When I hear stories like this I get so angry because I work in early intervention. I'd find a new doc ASAP and I'm sorry his docs were so horrible.

Because he was a preemie--and a boy preemie at that--he is at greater risk for developmental delays and sensory processing problems. He needs to have evaluations through early intervention--at least developmental, speech/feeding and occupational therapies, and maybe even physical therapy. You don't need a doctor's referral to do this. Just Google your state and Early Intervention or Birth-to-Three and you should find something. Ideally, the NICU should have given you this information when he was discharged from the hospital, but I'm guessing they didn't. Hopefully you can get these evaluations and possibly even therapy before he's seen by the neurologist, but i-d still keep the appointment with him/her. Honestly, I'm mad for you that your doctor has not been very helpful.
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Poisongirl98
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 12:42 AM
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Oh and I think you're right in that his tantrums are his way of communicating with you. He also may have a receptive language (understanding language)delay and sensory processing problems that make it difficult to manage different sensations (e.g., bright lights and loud noises at a restaurant), adapt to change and regulate his emotions. Of course a lot of 2-year olds who communicate well can still have tantrums--but it sounds like your DS' are more what I call meltdowns--when a child physically cannot control his emotions and needs outside help to do so. I've found when DS would get that way (he has sensory processing disorder), I would just have to give him a big hug and show him how to breathe deeply and do very little talking. It also helped when I prepared him for change--like telling him "5 more minutes" or "10 more pushes" before transitions. In your DS' case, he may need something visual, like a visual timer or even coloring in a certain number of boxes before he's done with something. My kids were never too bad with changing diapers, but some kids do better being changed on the floor (some kids with sensory problems have a fear of heights or don't like being on their back), being given a toy that is only for diaper changes, or singing the same song so he knows that when the song ends, the dapier change is done.
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Supermommyof423
by Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 4:49 PM
I haven't had to deal with this but that baby is a miracle. Be thankful for him and cherish him everyday. Be patient with him and enjoy him. Being a life is one of the best things in the world. Don't punish him if he doesn't understand. You can't expect him to learn everything any other two year old does on your time limit. It doesn't work that way.
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