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Son wanting everything from store.

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:59 PM
  • 37 Replies

Everytime we go to the store my son wants a toy. He will get mad, start a tantrum. Its embarasing. What advice can be given to me. What I usually do is try to get my hubby to pretend he's going to buy it and then hurry up and go outside so my son won't see him put it back. I feel so bad doing that, but I can't just let him throw himself on the floor in Walmart, or a dollar store. MY husband has spoiled him when I was gone for 2 months. He bought him toys everywhere he went.

 

by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
britmichele
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:00 PM
How old?
jennibun86
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:04 PM

Sorry he will be 3 in Oct.

 

britmichele
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:07 PM
I would just put him in the cart and be firm with my no. Just let him hold it until u get to the front, then tell the cashier you don't want it at the end. If he throws a fit, too bad and you'll already be done shopping any way
Poisongirl98
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:11 PM
4 moms liked this
I think pretending to buy it and put it back is not good at all. Not only are you reinforcing his tantrums by "buying" it, it's deceptive and isn't going to stop him from tantruming again. Explain that he can look at the toys but you're not going to buy them for him. I would not give into any tantrums, no matter how big they are. You can either choose to ignore his tantrums and continue with your shopping, or give him like 3 warnings to change his behavior. If he doesn't, then you leave. You have to be consistent. If he asks nicely for a toy and you didn't tell him beforehand that he wasn't getting a toy and you decide he can have it, that's different. He will probably throw even bigger tantrums because he's used to them working to get what he wants, but you can't give in.
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Kathy489
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:19 PM
4 moms liked this

Three is pretty young, but discuss it ahead of time, before you leave the house. I make my son look me in the eye while I tell him that we are NOT buying any toys today, and I make him acknowledge what I said. He is 6 now, but I started doing it a couple of years ago.

Once you are at the store, then you can refer back to the discussion at home. "Remember? We aren't buying anything today?" Be consistent, no tricks or backtracking.

Cherish77
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:20 PM

I tell my kids before we even step into a store not to ask for any toys or candy, because they are not getting them, sometimes they forget and ask anyways, but I remind them and most times there is no tantrum.

kirstensmommie
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I would just put him in the cart and tell him "NO!" My kids father will cave everytime but I tell them no.

jennibun86
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:27 PM

I love all the replies. I'll def. let him no we are not buying any toys or candy. I needed to go to the dollar strore today, but refused because I know I'll be in for some trouble taking him in. I'll skip it until he gets dropped off at the sitters tomorrow. :)

.Angelica.
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:58 PM

i would just warn him before you go that he's not getting anything. if he asks, tell him no. Let him throw his tantrum if he wants... I've carried a kicking screaming kid out of the store before because he didn't get a toy. after a few times he realized it didn't work and he asks now, but we tell him no and that's that.

itsm3
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this

imo, kids need to learn how to behave in a store and they need to learn that every time they go into one, it doesn't mean they get a toy or throws a tantrum if they don't get anything.  i do nnot hide what i'm buying (if it's a present) and if we don't find anything, we simply leave to go to another store.

when dd was younger (2YO), i would tell her where we were going (toy store) and why.  then i would tell her that we will NOT be buying a toy for her because we were buying a present for X.  i told her how i expected her to behave and if she got upset or silly, we would leave immediately and she would be punished when we got home (timeout). 

i did this because:  1) she knew ahead of time where we were going so no surprises 2) i set her expectations of what NOT to expect (a toy)   3)  she knew how i expected her to behave and 4) she knew what the consequences were if she did misbehave.

this has worked out for us wonderfully; dd is fully able to go into a store and look around without throwing a fit.  there werew times she wanted to carry a toy she liked in the store and when it was time to go, i would tell her that it was time to go, she would put the toy back on the shelf, wave "bye" and then leave with out a fuss.  

i always praise her when she behaves well; i would tell her she acted so nicely in the store and that i was very proud of her behaviour.  i think this positive reinforcement is what helped her learn what acceptable behaviour is.  she has never freaked out in a store before because she wanted something and couldn't get it.  she is 5 now.

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