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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Updated - How do you get your child to sit in timeout?

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 1:56 PM
  • 42 Replies

My child is 3.5 - almost 4. We do timeouts for most forms of mis behaviours. He's generally a very happy, sweet and active kid. Timeouts have worked up until now. Lately he has started getting very agrressive - yelling and shouting when he doesnt get what he wants. He also hits and throws things. I have always believed in gentle parenting - using distractions rather than punishment - and most of the disciplining activities revolve around taking away privileges and time outs. My problem is - lately he will not sit in time out - he just gets up and runs away, hes too big to be in a strapped up seat and I do not want to lock him up ina room. How have other moms of pre schoolers handled this? Any tips?

Thank you for your responses. However Im amazed at how many moms are advocating spanking as a way to get my child to "respect" me. Please moms, spanking is not healthy for your kids - please read this link and read it through : http://www.nospank.net/pt2009.htm

And thank you especially to the poster who introduced me to the concept of "problem solving" with my child. I tried it out and its really working, wish I had heard/known of it before -perhaps my child would not be throwing any more tantrums by now...

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 1:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
britmichele
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:03 PM
You just keep putting him back every time he gets up. Sometimes I have to do it 20 times.... :( I sit near him but not too close and read or something so I can put him back immediately
IQuitCounting
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:13 PM
1 mom liked this

You might want to start instigating other forms of discipline, like taking away a privilege.  4 is about the age that starts to be a viable option, as long as it's something immediate that they are anticipating (a treat, a movie, etc) or taking away a toy that they are playing with when they act out (say it's one they threw in a fit), but it has to be one they'll miss.  Oh, and don't take it away for an hour.  Take it away for the DAY to start, increasing the time as they get older.  My son in almost 5, and we take things away for up to a week depending on the offense.

SpiritedMom2
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Yes I do this - these are the only 2 forms of discipline I use - timeouts and taking away privileges. But sometimes taking away privileges is not an option at that particular moment ...

Quoting IQuitCounting:

You might want to start instigating other forms of discipline, like taking away a privilege.  4 is about the age that starts to be a viable option, as long as it's something immediate that they are anticipating (a treat, a movie, etc) or taking away a toy that they are playing with when they act out (say it's one they threw in a fit), but it has to be one they'll miss.  Oh, and don't take it away for an hour.  Take it away for the DAY to start, increasing the time as they get older.  My son in almost 5, and we take things away for up to a week depending on the offense.


 

SpiritedMom2
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:19 PM

 

Also - sometimes taking away privilege just doesnt work - for example - if I tell him he cannot have his favorite toy for a day - he will be just be fine with it and even after the day is over and I let him know that he can play with it now - he wont bother playing with it so Im not sure whether that really worked...

Quoting IQuitCounting:

You might want to start instigating other forms of discipline, like taking away a privilege.  4 is about the age that starts to be a viable option, as long as it's something immediate that they are anticipating (a treat, a movie, etc) or taking away a toy that they are playing with when they act out (say it's one they threw in a fit), but it has to be one they'll miss.  Oh, and don't take it away for an hour.  Take it away for the DAY to start, increasing the time as they get older.  My son in almost 5, and we take things away for up to a week depending on the offense.


 

AutymsMommy
by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm hoping it doesn't jinx me by saying this.

I don't think it ever occured to my 4 year old that he COULD get up, lol!

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














SpiritedMom2
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:21 PM

 

He's just too big for me - and he runs away really fast and hides under the table or whatever...I tried locking him int he room with me in it - sitting beside him - but he will run to the door and unlock it or if he cant, he will rattle on it an scream...

Quoting britmichele:

You just keep putting him back every time he gets up. Sometimes I have to do it 20 times.... :( I sit near him but not too close and read or something so I can put him back immediately


 

IQuitCounting
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:21 PM

Hm, then I would devote the time to standing there, and putting him back in every time he got up.  Tell him that until he can sit for X amount of mins straight without getting up, you're going to do this all day.  The clock starts over every time he gets up.  Be clam, almost like a robot, no emotion or he may consider it attention.  Don't talk to him except to explain it the first few times, then just keep doing it.  It may take some time, but if you're consistent, he should eventually get bored of the game and realize he's not getting up until he does as you asked.  Worth a try.

Quoting SpiritedMom2:


Yes I do this - these are the only 2 forms of discipline I use - timeouts and taking away privileges. But sometimes taking away privileges is not an option at that particular moment ...

Quoting IQuitCounting:

You might want to start instigating other forms of discipline, like taking away a privilege.  4 is about the age that starts to be a viable option, as long as it's something immediate that they are anticipating (a treat, a movie, etc) or taking away a toy that they are playing with when they act out (say it's one they threw in a fit), but it has to be one they'll miss.  Oh, and don't take it away for an hour.  Take it away for the DAY to start, increasing the time as they get older.  My son in almost 5, and we take things away for up to a week depending on the offense.




IQuitCounting
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:22 PM

And I just saw the reply about him being too big for you?  Are you really small and him really big?  I can't imagine a 3 1/2 year old being too big to contain like that.

CorpCityGrl
by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:22 PM

You keep putting him back every time he gets up until he sits for the full amount of time.  Sometimes it can take several times.

SpiritedMom2
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:23 PM

 

LOL - youre lucky. Mine is really big for his age and so fast!

Quoting AutymsMommy:

I'm hoping it doesn't jinx me by saying this.

I don't think it ever occured to my 4 year old that he COULD get up, lol!


 

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