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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

need advice on my 14 month old son! please!

Posted by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 3:59 PM
  • 30 Replies
Ok i have a 14 month old boy. And now he knows how to throw tantrums. So when he gets mad he starts swinging his hands and kicking and I've tried to be firm and tell him NO STOP THAT and I smack his hand and thighs (not hard if ur thinking that) and he just gets even madder! And my son is still on his pacifier HOW DO I TAKE IT AWAY. And he is on his bottle still I have all sorts of sippy cups HE DOESN'T TAKE THEM AND THROWS THEM AT ME and he doesn't drink water he hates it! Please HELP ME ON ADVICE THAT WORKS! u can email me if u want its jean.galvan43@yahoo.com or msg me on here. I Dont mind
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 3:59 PM
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PEEK05
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, I can understand why he gets mad when you hit him.  I would get mad too.  He is only 14 months old.  I would definitely reconsider physical discipline and instead be VERY consistent with re-direction and positive reinforcement.  It takes a LOT of work but nobody said having a toddler is easy.  It definitely pays off in the end!

I would cold turkey pacifier and bottle.  That's just my opinion.  I would also only offer water so that he will drink it.

miracle0618
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:16 PM
I've tried taking it away and he kicks and screams! And I don't hit him hard I only do it when he gets his toys and hits me in my face with them and there not soft toys. I put milk in his sippy cups and juice he throws it at me. And I've tried giving him water little at a time. Dr says he needs some.
othermom
by Silver Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 5:02 PM

For the binky I would wait a while to take it and focus on the bottle first. Maybe limit binky to just in his crib. I threw away all my kids bottles at 12 months and they used cups, but they had been using sippy cups since around 6-7 months. Maybe do watered down juice in the cup to add a little flavor to it.  When he has a tantrum put him in a safe spot and ignore him.

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 7:18 PM

 word for word everything below!!!

Quoting PEEK05:

Well, I can understand why he gets mad when you hit him.  I would get mad too.  He is only 14 months old.  I would definitely reconsider physical discipline and instead be VERY consistent with re-direction and positive reinforcement.  It takes a LOT of work but nobody said having a toddler is easy.  It definitely pays off in the end!

I would cold turkey pacifier and bottle.  That's just my opinion.  I would also only offer water so that he will drink it.

 

corrinacs
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 8:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I would say take things slowly.

Tempter tantrums are going to start being the norm these days.  Your child has so many things to do and express.....but they don't have the skills to do it.  And it causes a lot of frustration for them.  The best you can do is try to figure out what it is he wants/needs and go from there.  Show him how to do it himself :).  The more independent he gets, the better things will be.

As far as pacifiers, he's still young.  I would hang on to it for now.  I would start weaning him off of it when he's further into age 2.....if he's that dependent on it.  It's a soothing item for him.  My older son used one until he was nearly 3 and didn't have any dental damage at all!  We worked hard and finally got him weaned....took a while though.  We just left the decision up to him, but that's something you can only do when your child has the ability to understand that concept and express himself fairly clearly (to you).

As far as the bottle/sippy cup...take it slowly as well!  Have you found any cup that seems to help?  My son is 20 months and still uses the bottle sometimes.  He also has feeding issues, so it took him a while to figure out sippy cups.  He did start using the Playtex small straw cups.  Turns out, he can't deal with cups that require suction.  HE didn't do well with baby bottles that required suction, so we ended up using Dr. Browns (which has the thing on the inside that opens airflow).  If your son is in that boat, you may want to give the straw cups a chance.

As far as water, does he actually hate it?  Is the flow too fast/slow?  Try giving it to him in a flexible cup.  And give him time :).  Keep introducing it to him and he will warm up to it soon enough :).  Other than water, what does he drink?  How is his weight otherwise?

.Angelica.
by Angie on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:32 PM

I agree. i know it's frustrating, but think about it, if you were upset and then someone hit you for being upset, would that make you calm down?

Quoting PEEK05:

Well, I can understand why he gets mad when you hit him.  I would get mad too.  He is only 14 months old.  I would definitely reconsider physical discipline and instead be VERY consistent with re-direction and positive reinforcement.  It takes a LOT of work but nobody said having a toddler is easy.  It definitely pays off in the end!

I would cold turkey pacifier and bottle.  That's just my opinion.  I would also only offer water so that he will drink it.


spunky946
by Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:40 PM

Get the cups,that don't have suction.  

tiredme
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 11:11 PM
1 mom liked this

For temper tantrums, don't smack him just ignore him.  I always told my dd (and the kids I worked with at daycare) that this behavior is not acceptable and when they calm down I will talk to them, then walk away (making sure they are in a safe location).  With the pacifier and bottle just throw them away (I would do it one at a time).  If he is thirsty he will eventually drink from a sippy.  To get him to drink water I would only give water at nap and bedtime, no options either water or nothing.  During the day try to water down his juice and gradually add more water each time until it is only water.  You will have to deal with fits but if you do not give in he will get over it and stop throwing fits but you absolutely can not give in. 

iansmommy9
by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2013 at 6:35 AM

 We went through this behavior when DS was about 16 months old. First. let me tell you that it's a tough phase. It's physically and emotionally draining. It's not bad parenting, it's just a phase toddlers go through. It has to do with pushing boundaries and low communication skills.  At this age, re-direction is the best thing. Show him how to love a bear/toy softly.  Let him know you are happy when he is kind. A quick pop has never been an effective behavior corrections for my son.  When he got older, (18 months or so) we started using time out. He'll be 3 in a few weeks and it is the best solution for him right now.  At your son's age, he's not going to understand time out.

As for the paci.  Do it cold turkey.  I lingered with this one and we didn't get rid of it until he was almost 2.5 He had a rough couple of weeks without it, but if you take it earlier, he won't be as attached.

For the bottle, make sure you have a cup he will drink from and then just take the bottle cold turkey too.  I spent a small fortune in cups. He finally liked the straw cups with handles. Once he liked the cup, one weekend, I got up and decided that today was the day. Both DH and I drank from sippy cups all weekend and we made a huge deal about DS was such a big boy like daddy. The first night, I gave him a bottle at bed and boy was that a mistake. He yelled for about 2 hours straight Sunday morning for his bottle. I dug my heels in and never gave him another botle. He took a cup of water to bed with him.

miracle0618
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 9:13 AM
Thanks alot :) and I do have a sippy cup that has a straw but he won't take it. He drinks out of our straws. Lol and I took him to the dentist last month they said to try to take away the pacifier a little at a time because his teeth are curving in the front. But i don't think it's that. Because his daddy's always had that problem until daddy finally got braces and fixed them. But other then that no cavities he has good teeth. I just don't want my son to go through braces :(..... and yes he hates water. He takes a taste and makes this funny Face and throws the bottle. He drinks his juices and milk mostly. Sometimes not all the time I give him some tea. And he has his fruit smoothies. In June when he turned 12 months I took him to the dr. He weighed 20.8 and now I took him back 4 days ago and he now weighs 20lbs. He lost some weight. But he eats and drinks real good z.


Quoting corrinacs:

I would say take things slowly.

Tempter tantrums are going to start being the norm these days.  Your child has so many things to do and express.....but they don't have the skills to do it.  And it causes a lot of frustration for them.  The best you can do is try to figure out what it is he wants/needs and go from there.  Show him how to do it himself :).  The more independent he gets, the better things will be.

As far as pacifiers, he's still young.  I would hang on to it for now.  I would start weaning him off of it when he's further into age 2.....if he's that dependent on it.  It's a soothing item for him.  My older son used one until he was nearly 3 and didn't have any dental damage at all!  We worked hard and finally got him weaned....took a while though.  We just left the decision up to him, but that's something you can only do when your child has the ability to understand that concept and express himself fairly clearly (to you).

As far as the bottle/sippy cup...take it slowly as well!  Have you found any cup that seems to help?  My son is 20 months and still uses the bottle sometimes.  He also has feeding issues, so it took him a while to figure out sippy cups.  He did start using the Playtex small straw cups.  Turns out, he can't deal with cups that require suction.  HE didn't do well with baby bottles that required suction, so we ended up using Dr. Browns (which has the thing on the inside that opens airflow).  If your son is in that boat, you may want to give the straw cups a chance.

As far as water, does he actually hate it?  Is the flow too fast/slow?  Try giving it to him in a flexible cup.  And give him time :).  Keep introducing it to him and he will warm up to it soon enough :).  Other than water, what does he drink?  How is his weight otherwise?


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