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Rude 4 year old.. Help?

Posted by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 10:59 AM
  • 18 Replies
My dd just turned 4 on Wednesday & she is one of those "say what you're thinking" kids. I'm trying to find a way to squash it before it gets too out of hand (most people think it's cute right now.. Another year or so, not so much. I'm already mortified most of the time)

Examples? Say you're walking through the store, you see dd and tell her "Hi." She will either stare at you like you're nuts or ask "Why you talkin' to me?"

Remember I said her birthday was Wed.? Today is her party. We were outside thismorning and she looked at my neighbor and said "You say Happy Birthday Claire to me."

I correct her each and every time. My older kids are so polite, I have no idea where this comes from. I'm kind of at a loss here. I don't wamt people to think I'm raising a snotty brat.. Nor do I actually want to raise one :-/
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 10:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
PEEK05
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 11:48 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think she is a snotty brat.  She sounds like a normal 4 year old to me.  Yes, correct her, but I wouldn't think such rude thoughts about your child.

ermka
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 12:48 PM
I guess I'm just worried that she won't grow out of it.. Or follow my lead when I correct her. It just makes me nervous that she's going to be one of those kids who sounds like they weren't taught manners..

Quoting PEEK05:

I don't think she is a snotty brat.  She sounds like a normal 4 year old to me.  Yes, correct her, but I wouldn't think such rude thoughts about your child.

cabrandy03
by Bronze Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 1:35 PM
1 mom liked this

She sounds like a pretty typical 4 year old to me.

PAmommy32
by Bronze Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 2:06 PM

She probably doesn't realize that she is being rude.  At her age she will just say what she is thinking and it is hard for her to stop and re-think that she should say it more politely.  It is frustrating though because my son (who will be 4 in January) has recently gotten a smart mouth on him.  I know he is just working out what is acceptable but sometimes I just want to scream.  I do correct him every time but sometimes you just have to wonder when it will sink in.  I know they will eventually get to the point where the understand and actually use good manners but I have a feeling it will be a very long process, at least for my son.  Good luck with your little girl!

kajira
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 2:32 PM

I think you need to relax a little, she sounds totally normal, most kids speak their mind and learn over time to tone it back because it's rude, or offends people....

Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 3:48 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'm going against the consensus above me.  I'm thinking to engage in lots of coaching.  Anticipate what situations might arise during the day and feed her appropriate phrases.  Enlist other adults and big kids you know to exaggerate their positive reactions and feedback when she says socially acceptable or polite things.  Correct her when she says rude things by making her say something more appropriate right there on the spot.

My thinking is this...chances are she would pick up on social cues eventually all on her own.  But if this is something that she will always find difficult...and some people struggle with it all their lives...then these are the years when it will be easiest to teach her.  So don't let the opportunity slip, just in case.

mariesmama
by Gold Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 6:00 PM
trade ya my 4 yr old bites because she cannot express herself i'd trade for one that embarasses me
sophiesmom07
by Ruby Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 7:44 PM


Quoting Bieg9093:

 I'm going against the consensus above me.  I'm thinking to engage in lots of coaching.  Anticipate what situations might arise during the day and feed her appropriate phrases.  Enlist other adults and big kids you know to exaggerate their positive reactions and feedback when she says socially acceptable or polite things.  Correct her when she says rude things by making her say something more appropriate right there on the spot.

My thinking is this...chances are she would pick up on social cues eventually all on her own.  But if this is something that she will always find difficult...and some people struggle with it all their lives...then these are the years when it will be easiest to teach her.  So don't let the opportunity slip, just in case.

Great advice.   

ermka
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 8:19 PM
I'd like to be able to teach her to tone it down before it offends someone. I understand that it's age appropriate and "cute" (I'll even admit that once in a while she has me amused.) But at the same time.. I'm not sure how to help her tone it down a bit before it loses it's cuteness.

Quoting kajira:

I think you need to relax a little, she sounds totally normal, most kids speak their mind and learn over time to tone it back because it's rude, or offends people....

ermka
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 8:21 PM
'Thank goodness I've never dealt with biting. Good luck!

Quoting mariesmama:

trade ya my 4 yr old bites because she cannot express herself i'd trade for one that embarasses me
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