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Terrible 2??

Posted by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 4:31 PM
  • 11 Replies

I've heard all sort of bad things about children turning two and getting into that terrible two stage. Well my DS just turned two and he is working my patients. I try very hard to try to communicate with him and get him to understand what he is doing is wrong. So here is the sort of things he is doing and i don't know what to do other than time outs which don't seem to help. He is throwing things usually at someone and at close range, spitting, hitting, spilling his drinks on purpose, he is really frustrated in communicating and really frustrated the can't do somethings on his own. I just don't know what to do with some of this. any suggestions would be great.

by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 4:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 5:48 PM
Anything he throws or spills is gone. Give him a sippy cup he cant spill OR until he's ready to behave, nothing but water. Hitting, spitting is a FIRM "we do NOT hit/spit" and straight to timeout. Give him as much responsibility as you can if that's part of the problem. Kids want control so if you give him choices and let him think he has more control, that should help some. Other than that he's just doing normal boundary testing. He needs to know your limits are firm and unwavering. That gives him security. GL
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Karmea
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 6:12 PM

Try to remember that it's harder for him than it is for you. He's suddenly discovered that his actions can have an effect on his world, but he doesn't know what his limitations and abilities are, and that can be incredibly frustrating. So he's going to do irritating, repetitive things to give you an opportunity to show him his place. It's up to you to be consistent. If he sees that X always happens when I do Y, then he'll be able to move on from Y to something else. If he throws something, pick it up and take it away so he sees that's always what happens. It won't take long for him to stop throwing what he wants to keep - IF you're consistent. If consequences are unpredictable, he'll only get irritable and try ten times harder to figure out what's going on. Communication is good, but language development is primitive at this age. He's going to learn a lot faster if you show rather than tell.

Amy2079
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 6:16 PM

My son is almost 3 and he still acts out here and there. Time out doesn't really work, and we use a lot of distractions. Instead of time out I suggest just take away his favorite toy, if he cries let him cry and ignore him .  My son used to cry and cry for long time about 30 to 40min, but now he doesn't go on that long and know he will not get anything from us. The hitting/throwing part is bad, think every kid goes thru it. If he hits, make sure you grab his hand firm and look at him NO Hitting, it HURTS. Just keep telling him that and eventually will stop. At that age they are seeking independence, but they can't really tell you what they want. A lot of frustration comes from can't communicate. Make sure you be consistant and don't give in basically show him who's the boss here. If he likes to spill thing give him the cup that dosn't spill and if he does drop it on purpose just ignore him and pick up the cup or leave it on the floor for him to pick up. When he starts to talk, he will be calmer and it will get a little better.

owl0210
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 7:07 PM
The threes are the absolute worse. I can't even begin to tell you...lol.
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eventualbabe
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 8:00 PM

Thanks everyone this has been really helpful

mypbandj
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:55 AM
Parenting is a hands on job. It's seems as of he is seeking attention for those behaviors. My best advice is to stay right by him and watch closely so you can prevent it. As he pulls his hand back to throw, quickly, yet not aggressively or mean, hold his arm and take the toy and say, this toy is not for throwing. Then stand up and put the toy up. Then go back to him and distract him with another toy. The taking of the toy was the consequence. No need to harp on it. As he gets attention from you as he plays appropriately, he will do that more.
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.Angelica.
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 9:15 AM

I agree.

Quoting mypbandj:

Parenting is a hands on job. It's seems as of he is seeking attention for those behaviors. My best advice is to stay right by him and watch closely so you can prevent it. As he pulls his hand back to throw, quickly, yet not aggressively or mean, hold his arm and take the toy and say, this toy is not for throwing. Then stand up and put the toy up. Then go back to him and distract him with another toy. The taking of the toy was the consequence. No need to harp on it. As he gets attention from you as he plays appropriately, he will do that more.


kdvorak
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 9:19 AM
thanks for the post and the replies.
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RobynS
by Robyn on Sep. 23, 2013 at 9:48 AM

Oh, honey... sometimes the "terrible twos" are just to prepare you for the horrible threes! Both of my kids were more difficult at three than they were at two.

DD is 4 and still trying my patience daily!

Stick to your guns. It will seem like he is never going to get it, but he will. Just be FIRM and CONSISTENT. Good luck!

mommyofnoah208
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 9:51 AM
Good luck. That can be so fruatrating! I think you got great advice. Also be super consistant, have a routine
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