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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Feeling alone...

Posted by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 5:53 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hi....

This is something that is quite hard to tell about me because it's personal but at the same time I need some advise from anyone who is going through what I am going through or any suggestions how I can deal with this.

For the past month my husband has been stressed out from work and I understand since he works overtime and I am always there so listen to him vent out when he needs to say what is bothering him...I am always supportive of what he does and never have put him down, but lately he did a 360 changed this month has been really weird.

His affection has slowly declined and I thought work was getting to him so I didn't question it. The las two weeks I was getting annoyed because he hasn't held me or said I love you...or just to cuddle in bed before we sleep. Even when he leaves for work I don't get a kiss.... It's as if he has turned cold and I finally questioned him and his reply is that work is just beyong stressing him since he is the only manager on the floor. I am not being selfish but I would like to know he is not just saying that because it might be something else.

We have been together for 12yrs and I am guessing he is seeing me as not attractive...but with 2 kids I try my best to look presentable. Last night I tried to be all sexy and thougth that I would spice things up...but instead he turned his back on me and slept....I felt so insulted. I would like to know if there are any way I could try and get him really tell me what is the matter without me forcing myself onto him and being rejected. This is the first time that it's happening and I am at a loss and confused. I love him, and I don't want to think the worse.

Thank you for reading this and any suggestions would be nice, I am not here to bash my husband but a partner/lover trying to get down the core of how to handle this on my own.... 

by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 5:53 PM
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Replies (1-7):
withsecond
by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:25 PM
It could very well be that his job is draining him. It may have nothing to do with you or how you look. I would just try talking to him again and voice what you said here, to him.
Annamar09
by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:41 PM

I would like to tell him what I wrote here...I should try. Thank you :)

ShannaBee
by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:43 PM

I understand what you are going through! I'm experiencing a similar situation. I hope things get better for you.

.Angelica.
by Angie on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't have any advice but just wanted to say I hope you two can get it worked out.

sophiesmom07
by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 6:13 PM

Hi, I'm sorry you are going through that. It can be very painful and can really affect your self esteem.  Maybe he really is just stressed about work. Have you tried talkng to him about it?  Wait for amoment when you know he is going to be home, not right before he leaves for work. Good luck. I hope you can resolve things.

bummed_out

maxswolfsuit
by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 6:24 PM

I think sharing what you wrote here might be a good idea. 

Good luck. It's hard to balance everything. 

SCL_HF
by Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 8:15 PM

DH went through something like this and it truly was work. He was so stressed at work and was starting to get resentful that he was working all day and I was home with our son. He wasn't upset that I was home but he wanted the chance to be home with our son and felt like he was missing out on his family. So, we sat down and made a schedule. He talked to his manager about needing to be at home on time more often and told him that he needed more than one day off a week. The schedule we had when he was home made sure that he had 30 minutes when he got home to just decompress and have some moments to himself before he had to tackle stuff around the house. Once he was done decompressing he had story time with DS, dinner time with the family (I made dinner while he was doing story time), then he would give DS a bath and put him to bed. Then we had husband and wife time where we would watch movies, listen to music, have a date night if the Nanny was available or just talk. We made sure to have at least an hour every night. It was rough at first but now it's just our routine and it works for us. 

Good luck Momma. Remember to never assume anything!

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