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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Why is my mother so careless with my DD?

Posted by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:06 AM
  • 24 Replies

Ok so yeaterday i left DD with mom while i worked (DD has been sick so I couldn't take her to daycare), this morning, I was getting DD ready for daycare, when I went to brush her hair, I noticed a chunk of her was missing! ! Well I got onto DD and asked her to show me the scissors that she used and she went straight to my mom's desk and pulled out the scissors. My mom jumped in and said that DD did not cut her hair. After explaining to mom that a good piece of her hair was obviously chopped off.all mom could say was "well she gets into stuff" , my immediate responds was "that'd exactly why I leave her with adults, to watch her. And the last time she cute her hair, she was with you as well, and you didn't even notice that time either. " this makes me so mad. Cause my mother claims to watch DD but she really doesnt. Then she gets mad or offended when I get upset. What really gets me is that my mother is a nanny. So she does this for a living. I hardly ever ask her to watch DD for me, but when I do , I always find that DD does something out of character. And mom never has a clue that DD even did it. I don't feel secure leaving my DD with mom but I have no one else, I'm a single mother who works fulltime and I dont have much family here to help me. I dont really socialize much cause my time is so streach out that i always find myself to exhausted to socialize... 


Am I wrong for being upset with my mother?

by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jenn8604
by Jennifer on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:09 AM
I got lost a few spots. You wrote so fast and mad you missed some words.
I totally understand you being PISSED. It's one thing to say yeah dd got in the scissors It's another to LIE about it happening.
Maybe ask coworkers about trusted babysitters they use and meet the people and interview them.
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mrfi4916
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:22 AM

Sorry for the typos, I used my phone and it wrote whatever it wanted,, lol, but I went back and corrected it. 

Unfortunately, I am the only female,and worker in my company with children ( We are a commercial roofing company, and it's only 3 of us here.) so there is no one to ask. I just don't understand, my mother comes highly recommended by her clients, and never receives complaints, and I have never heard of any incidents with the children she cares for, why is she so careless with DD?? And then if I refuse to let her take DD with her whenever she wants to, she will get her feelings hurt, and will push DD away cause she will feel that I don't want her around DD ( She did this to one of my nieces) I dont know how to respond to my mother sometimes.

Quoting Jenn8604: I got lost a few spots. You wrote so fast and mad you missed some words. I totally understand you being PISSED. It's one thing to say yeah dd got in the scissors It's another to LIE about it happening. Maybe ask coworkers about trusted babysitters they use and meet the people and interview them.


sophiesmom07
by Ruby Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:53 AM

I know the feeling. My mom  is that way with the kids. Once I told her to hold my dd's hand at the airport garage and she let her go and dd took off as cars were turning. I ran as fast as I could to catch her. When I  said something to my mom , she was all offended. I know not to leave my  mom alone with the kids. At least not until they are much older. I understand you don't  have that option. Maybe you can just speak to her 9without accusing her) about different things she can do to make the place safer. Maybe you could walk through yourself and fix what  you can.  Also, try giving her calls throughout  the day to see how dd's doing. Good luck. 

.Angelica.
by Angie on Mar. 14, 2014 at 1:22 PM

I probably would try to find some other arrangements. I agree with asking co workers about their baby sitters.

mrfi4916
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 3:48 PM
Unfortunately, I am the only female,and worker in my company with children ( We are a commercial roofing company, and it's only 3 of us here.) so there is no one to ask. She is typically in daycare but she's been sick all week so I had no choice but to ask my mom. I don't go out, or socialize at all so I don't know who to ask. (I work too much and get home too late) In addition, I can't afford to pay daycare plus an independent care taker alI in one week. And daycare makes you pay for the week even if she did not attend. That's how you secure the child's spot for the next week. Quoting Jenn8604: I got lost a few spots. You wrote so fast and mad you missed some words. I totally understand you being PISSED. It's one thing to say yeah dd got in the scissors It's another to LIE about it happening. Maybe ask coworkers about trusted babysitters they use and meet the people and interview them.
Quoting .Angelica.:

I probably would try to find some other arrangements. I agree with asking co workers about their baby sitters.

mem82
by Silver Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 5:25 PM

I have the same issues with my mom. 8(

queenie1963
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 5:59 PM
First of all who cares about typos! People in here get lost on this stuff!!
Second your daughters safety comes 1st! Do you feel your daughter is safe with your mom?


Quoting mrfi4916:

Sorry for the typos, I used my phone and it wrote whatever it wanted,, lol, but I went back and corrected it. 

Unfortunately, I am the only female,and worker in my company with children ( We are a commercial roofing company, and it's only 3 of us here.) so there is no one to ask. I just don't understand, my mother comes highly recommended by her clients, and never receives complaints, and I have never heard of any incidents with the children she cares for, why is she so careless with DD?? And then if I refuse to let her take DD with her whenever she wants to, she will get her feelings hurt, and will push DD away cause she will feel that I don't want her around DD ( She did this to one of my nieces) I dont know how to respond to my mother sometimes.

Quoting Jenn8604: I got lost a few spots. You wrote so fast and mad you missed some words.
I totally understand you being PISSED. It's one thing to say yeah dd got in the scissors It's another to LIE about it happening.
Maybe ask coworkers about trusted babysitters they use and meet the people and interview them.

awesomemommy2
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 6:07 PM
This is why I have my son in a very reputable preschool. He is 4 and gets into things and at someone's home there is laundry to do, phone to answer, dinner to make, etc.

As for the hair incident it could have happened at home with you watching her. I know quite a few kids (my daughter included) who have done this and it does not mean that my child isn't safe in my care.

I would sit down with your mom and have a talk about your expectations and if you cannot come to an agreement then you should find other arrangements.
mrfi4916
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 7:56 PM
I know it was with my mom. Here is how I know. Monday- dd was sick as can be and literally slurped all day. Tuesday- dd was day with the one friend I do have who was not working that day. Again she was sick and slept all day. Wednesday- same thing. Thursday - she was feeling a little better and had broke her fever, but as precaution I asked my mom to watch her this one day just to make sure. She was with mom all day. I got home picked her up and took her with me too run an errand. Got home late and went straight to sleep. No time to get into trouble. Friday morning- I go to comb her hair and discover its cut. Her hair was fine all those days. I know cause I brush it. I don't necessarily believe she's unsafe. I just always worry about what I'm gonna come home to find. As in what did dd get into today? ?
Quoting awesomemommy2: This is why I have my son in a very reputable preschool. He is 4 and gets into things and at someone's home there is laundry to do, phone to answer, dinner to make, etc. As for the hair incident it could have happened at home with you watching her. I know quite a few kids (my daughter included) who have done this and it does not mean that my child isn't safe in my care. I would sit down with your mom and have a talk about your expectations and if you cannot come to an agreement then you should find other arrangements.
chariot71226
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 8:10 PM

Have you tried finding an hourly place for daycare. That way if she needs to stay home sick with someone you have the cash?  That's how my daycare place is set up. 

Quoting mrfi4916: Unfortunately, I am the only female,and worker in my company with children ( We are a commercial roofing company, and it's only 3 of us here.) so there is no one to ask. She is typically in daycare but she's been sick all week so I had no choice but to ask my mom. I don't go out, or socialize at all so I don't know who to ask. (I work too much and get home too late) In addition, I can't afford to pay daycare plus an independent care taker alI in one week. And daycare makes you pay for the week even if she did not attend. That's how you secure the child's spot for the next week. Quoting Jenn8604: I got lost a few spots. You wrote so fast and mad you missed some words. I totally understand you being PISSED. It's one thing to say yeah dd got in the scissors It's another to LIE about it happening. Maybe ask coworkers about trusted babysitters they use and meet the people and interview them.
Quoting .Angelica.:

I probably would try to find some other arrangements. I agree with asking co workers about their baby sitters.


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