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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Toddler's behavior is bad, stopping me from working and having a social life.

Posted by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 1:34 PM
  • 51 Replies
My toddler is 3 but since he was 1 year old his behavior has been so bad that I have had to quit my job just to stay at home with him. I haven't worked in a year because no one wants to watch him. Its frustrating. He throws tantrums in public, doesn't listen, cries every time someone tells him no or if he doesn't get a snack that he wants he stomps really hard over and over. When I take him to the store he opens candy up and eats it, once he pushed a who rack full of candy over and I had to clean it up. It was embarassing. When I was working every babysitter that I had quit on me after a week because they couldn't handle his behavior, he would cry the whole time he was at the baby sitter's house. I have a 7 year old daughter who I really feel sorry for because she gets caught in the middle of it, I can't go on her class field trips or to her plays because my son throws tantrums and wont sit still. Her father has to go to most of them. The only thing i do is sit in the house and watch him, I don't go out, I dont have any friends and i dont get a chance to enjoy myself because of this situation. I've tried Time Out, Spanking, taking away his toys. He will promise to be good but a day later he is at it again. What do i do? I feel like I have to put my life on hold until he goes to school.
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 1:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 1:48 PM
5 moms liked this
If you feel its above and beyond normal toddler behavior then schedule a meeting with your pedi and ask for a referral for a behavioral evaluation. Short of a medical issue its probably a parenting issue. If he can't behave in the store, he gets strapped in a stroller or grocery cart. He seems to be under the impression that he's in charge. You sound so worn down that you are probably giving in and making things worse.

Do the 2 of you have fun together during the day? Do you plan special outings or projects? Do you praise him when he behaves well? Are you and his father on the same page as far as parenting?

You also need to take care of you. When our kids go thru these, seemingly, never ending behavior phases its easy to put our heads down and try to fix it. However, by not taking care of yourself, you are cranky and short tempered which he feels and keeps you from engaging him in a positive way. Start yoga, start running/waking (alone for 20-30 mins each evening), have coffee with a friend once a week, crap, have a Margherita with a friend twice a week! Take care of you so you can take care of him.
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PAmommy32
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 2:09 PM
3 moms liked this

Agree with all.  Get a behavioral evaluation if you think he is beyond normal behaviors.  Three year olds can be tough because they have really strong emotions and want to be in control.  Take back control.  If he stomps, then he stomps and if he cries then he cries but always stick to what you say.  Don't let him open candy at the store, he is three, you can stop him.  If you act like he has taken over your life then he will get that vibe and just run all over you.  I would tell the sitter to have him sit in his room if he cries while you are gone, unless he is really in distress.  She can tell him he is welcome to come out and play as soon as he can stop carrying on.  Also make sure he gets some FUN one on one time with you.  Sometimes if children feel like you are not connected with them they push, push, push to make sure you still love them even if they are bad.  Show him you love him and have fun with him, even when he makes mistakes.

Quoting Luvmy2babies22: If you feel its above and beyond normal toddler behavior then schedule a meeting with your pedi and ask for a referral for a behavioral evaluation. Short of a medical issue its probably a parenting issue. If he can't behave in the store, he gets strapped in a stroller or grocery cart. He seems to be under the impression that he's in charge. You sound so worn down that you are probably giving in and making things worse. Do the 2 of you have fun together during the day? Do you plan special outings or projects? Do you praise him when he behaves well? Are you and his father on the same page as far as parenting? You also need to take care of you. When our kids go thru these, seemingly, never ending behavior phases its easy to put our heads down and try to fix it. However, by not taking care of yourself, you are cranky and short tempered which he feels and keeps you from engaging him in a positive way. Start yoga, start running/waking (alone for 20-30 mins each evening), have coffee with a friend once a week, crap, have a Margherita with a friend twice a week! Take care of you so you can take care of him.


jennibun86
by Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 2:37 PM

Sounds  alittle bit like my son, but he knows where to draw the line at times. You really got your hands full, and he should be checked for a eval. Something could be wrong he has no control over. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all that. Keep hope alive, and don't give up. 

susan_marie
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 2:44 PM

What activities does he enjoy?

collinsmommy0
by Silver Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 5:13 PM
What have you done to teach him how to behave appropriately?

I agree with bringing him in for an evaluation.
little.worthen
by Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 5:15 PM

sounds like you need to put your foot down. if you know he is going to eat candy and open it at the store, why do you let him roam free? honestly, i think child leashes are the stupidest things in the world, but in this case i can see where you have a somewhat acceptable reason to get one.

i'd be laying down the law if i were you or its just going to get worse..

little.worthen
by Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 5:16 PM

i'd like to add that if daycare cant handle him now, he will most likely be expelled from school when he gets there. so you're life wont go back to normal. you need to do something NOW


tiniowien
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 5:19 PM

If he keeps it up no school will want him

Lovely_Me23
by New Member on Mar. 20, 2014 at 6:22 PM
1 mom liked this
We play together most of the time, I play learning cards with him teaching him his ABCs. We go to the park, he loves to color, I let him watch tv and ride his toy train in the back yard.
maxswolfsuit
by on Mar. 20, 2014 at 6:46 PM


Quoting collinsmommy0: What have you done to teach him how to behave appropriately? I agree with bringing him in for an evaluation.

That's what I am wondering. 

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