Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

27 WEEKS AND IM SUFFERING FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 7:44 AM
  • 7 Replies

I am 27 weeks pregnant today and I have been stressing out about the other baby I am trying to move into a bigger place I have bills piling up right now with the move and all and I also have a 19 month old that wont eat or go to bed at night I do have him on a bedtime routine but he stopped following it he stopped eating when it was time to eat he only would eat when he wanted to and he doesnt want what is in front of him he will throw it or he will find a way to take his tray off and throw it down I really dont know what else to do I have done it all   I am a very emotional wreck right now when and if I do get some sleep I dont feel rested at all I feel like staying in bed all day I dont get anything done anymore I just wish that I could have time to relax and have some me time I'm not trying to sound selfish I love both my kids I just feel that everything is moving so fast she will be here in 10 weeks and my son is in that terrible 2's phase I just cry non stop BF asks me whats wrong and  just feel like I cant talk to him about it. He told me that when I have our little girl he would help out more with our son but now he is changing it to me doing it all and recovering at the same time i just feel that I dont have enough or any support from him or his family and mine is out of state I am scheduled to have a csection in June and my birth plan was to breast feed our daughter Im debating on doing that and just put her on formula I breast fed my son and it was great but after 6-8 weeks I started feeling very depressed I only breast fed him for 3 months he started to bite or he was sucking too hard causing my nipples to crack and bleed so I just took him off the breast and put him on the bottle I was still giving him breast milk from pumping but after that my milk started to dry up so he just stayed on formula. I dont know what else to do i feel so alone in all of this like nobody understands me or what I'm going through I dont smile laugh or enjoy anything anymore I just cry non stop the reason I am debating on breast feeding is because I feel that I may need to get back on medication for depression and anxiety, After I had our son I become very depressed I WAS WITH DIAGNOSED SEVERE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION so my dr put me on meds for it to balance it out I feel that I may need that after I give birth to our baby girl.

by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 7:44 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
TheMommaJessie
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 8:06 AM

I am sorry momma that you are having a rough time. First you need to tell your man he needs to step his ass up and help you with HIS son. Second as for little man not eating or sleeping keep trying different foods, lay with him if you have to if that will get him to sleep, DONT STRESS he senses that and that makes him stress which could be why he is not eating or sleeping. Three tell boyfriends family that if they are not going to help you with their grandson and support you in this pregnancy then they do not need to be around you do not need any negativity or lazy asses around.  As for breast feeding do it for as long as you can every baby is different your daughter may not nurse as hard as your son also seek out a lactation consultant when your daughter is born if you are having ANY issues or questions they will help you.  Do not stress over post partum depression right now if it happens then take something for it but there is no need to stress about it now there is nothing you can do about it now only after she comes. why a scheduled c-section? unless your son was c-section why have one? that will be just one more added stress to you.

proudmom2be0829
by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 8:21 AM

Thanks for your reply and all and yeah I am considered a high risk I had my first son at 24 weeks 5 days gestation and he didnt make it he was on so many machines and he passed away at 6 months 13 days tried again and have 2 miscarriages that was in 2005 and 2006 I never ttc again until 2011 it took me 7 years to want to try again I had my son A.J. at 37 weeks 6 days on August 7th 2012 my first son was an emergency csection and my son that I have now was one so I cant have a vaginal birth I would like too but its not possible I have been taking the 17 P shot its a progesterone shot  that keeps me from going into pre term labor with both kids so far he is healthy a few delays but other than that he is fine in this pregnancy I am more healthier than I was with him physically I am just more of an emotional wreck juggling 10 more weeks of pregnancy and having a toddler at the same time with no support.

Quoting TheMommaJessie:

I am sorry momma that you are having a rough time. First you need to tell your man he needs to step his ass up and help you with HIS son. Second as for little man not eating or sleeping keep trying different foods, lay with him if you have to if that will get him to sleep, DONT STRESS he senses that and that makes him stress which could be why he is not eating or sleeping. Three tell boyfriends family that if they are not going to help you with their grandson and support you in this pregnancy then they do not need to be around you do not need any negativity or lazy asses around.  As for breast feeding do it for as long as you can every baby is different your daughter may not nurse as hard as your son also seek out a lactation consultant when your daughter is born if you are having ANY issues or questions they will help you.  Do not stress over post partum depression right now if it happens then take something for it but there is no need to stress about it now there is nothing you can do about it now only after she comes. why a scheduled c-section? unless your son was c-section why have one? that will be just one more added stress to you.


olivejuice2
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 10:25 AM
I struggle some with eating challenges with my 21 month old dd. She eats what we give her or she doesn't eat. I don't get up and get her something else to eat if she doesn't want what's on the table, but I always try to serve at least one thing that I know she likes. She doesn't have to eat if she doesn't want to but she won't get anything else until the next meal or snack time. Most days she eats okay but some days she just refuses everything and barely eats even her snacks. Kids eat when they're truly hungry so just keep offering him a variety of food and don't try to force him to eat, that just makes mealtime into a power struggle. It's hard to let her go hungry when she won't eat, but she's gaining weight so she makes up for her skipped meals later.

It sounds like you have depression. Talk to your doctor and possibly seek counseling. There may be a medicine that is safe to take during pregnancy and breastfeeding, or they could help you learn and practice tools to deal with your son, pregnancy, and stressors without meds.

As for your bf, I don't know what to say. I would not give him a choice, I'd make him help. If he just refused I'd find a way to leave. It sounds like he is adding more stress when he should be helping you out with everything to reduce your stress levels.
olivejuice2
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 10:29 AM
As pp said, you should talk to a lactation consultant about breastfeeding before you leave the hospital. Look into local breastfeeding support groups like La Leche League. My hospital offered a breastfeeding class for pregnant women and a group meeting with a well qualified and very experienced lactation consultant once a week that you bring your baby to four advice on how to make breastfeeding easier and reduce pain or other issues. Perhaps there is something similar near you. Good luck!
TheMommaJessie
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 10:47 AM

oh God momma I am so sorry for your losses. I had my son at 27 weeks gestation. Stressing out will not help you or your baby remember that. Your toddler needs mommy calm so he can be calm I know easier said then done. Try sitting with him on the couch or favorite chair watching his favorite show or movie and have cherrios or something easy right there and see if he will eat them as he is watching tv sometimes when they are distracted they will forget they didn't want to eat or drink. My son is 3 1/2 and we put on a show and he will eat or sometimes even fall asleep watching it. worse case you need to buy pediasure shakes and give them to hime once a day until the pickey eatting stops. good luck momma im here if you need to talk

Quoting proudmom2be0829:

Thanks for your reply and all and yeah I am considered a high risk I had my first son at 24 weeks 5 days gestation and he didnt make it he was on so many machines and he passed away at 6 months 13 days tried again and have 2 miscarriages that was in 2005 and 2006 I never ttc again until 2011 it took me 7 years to want to try again I had my son A.J. at 37 weeks 6 days on August 7th 2012 my first son was an emergency csection and my son that I have now was one so I cant have a vaginal birth I would like too but its not possible I have been taking the 17 P shot its a progesterone shot  that keeps me from going into pre term labor with both kids so far he is healthy a few delays but other than that he is fine in this pregnancy I am more healthier than I was with him physically I am just more of an emotional wreck juggling 10 more weeks of pregnancy and having a toddler at the same time with no support.

Quoting TheMommaJessie:

I am sorry momma that you are having a rough time. First you need to tell your man he needs to step his ass up and help you with HIS son. Second as for little man not eating or sleeping keep trying different foods, lay with him if you have to if that will get him to sleep, DONT STRESS he senses that and that makes him stress which could be why he is not eating or sleeping. Three tell boyfriends family that if they are not going to help you with their grandson and support you in this pregnancy then they do not need to be around you do not need any negativity or lazy asses around.  As for breast feeding do it for as long as you can every baby is different your daughter may not nurse as hard as your son also seek out a lactation consultant when your daughter is born if you are having ANY issues or questions they will help you.  Do not stress over post partum depression right now if it happens then take something for it but there is no need to stress about it now there is nothing you can do about it now only after she comes. why a scheduled c-section? unless your son was c-section why have one? that will be just one more added stress to you.



CaptNumo9
by on Mar. 24, 2014 at 5:40 PM

I am sorry you are feeling so alone in this phase of life. I do understand, I had severe postpartum depression and my son was born tongue tied (he could not BF). I realized that it was ok, I pumped for a month and then gave him formula. Sometimes we just need to do what we need to do and not gauge if it is good, better or best. The best thing for me was to bottle feed him and be happy and healthy. Anything other than that would have not been good. So in your situation, you decide what is best for you and your baby. If meds are necessary than you make that choice when it comes. Worrying so much about the future is not healthy for you now.  Regarding your 19 mo old. Kids go through phases where they stop eating, then they eat a huge meal. It is just the way they are. Let him eat when he is hungry, and don't stress. Offer him yummy healthy food and if he doesn't eat it, save it for the next meal. Have you made plans for a few hours away for yourself? Call your BF parents and ask if they can babysit for a few hours, do something you enjoy, a movie, lunch with a friend. You need to take care of yourself, no one knows what you need other than you, so you need to be intentional about meeting these needs. It is healthy for you and for your baby and even your LO. Here is an artilce that helped me: http://bit.ly/1bDYURz. Hugs mama, you are in my prayers.

cabrandy03
by Bronze Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 5:49 PM
I'm sorry your having a rough time. Do you have any friends in the area who might be willing to help you out and give you an hour or two to yourself a couple times a week? It sounds like you just need a little break to destress.
Don't stress too much about your 19 month old not eating, toddlers go through phases like that. Just keep offering, he'll eat when he's hungry.
I really encourage you to really give breastfeeding a shot again, it will be easier in the long run to not have to deal with preparing and cleaning bottles. If baby starts biting again, there are ways to fix it. Join the breastfeeding group here on cm, the ladies there are super helpful.
Most of all just hang in there and see if you can get someone to help you out so you can have a little down time to relax.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN