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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Am I "Ruining" her?

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:41 PM
  • 310 Replies
My dd just turned 1 in March. She has never stayed with a relative or friend and she has never been out of my sight more than 4 hrs. I just don't trust anyone with her but me.She never goes or stays anywhere without me. At Easter dinner my family was talking, saying I am going to ruin her if I don't let her go. Saying she will have a hard time going to preschool and so on. An joking that I hadn't"cut the cord" yet. So what do you all think? Am I doing what they say? Is this bad for her?
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
greenlove2013
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this
What about your husband or mom? You don't trust your own family?
marchantmom06
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:50 PM
9 moms liked this
Sounds like you might have some issues.
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ARIAandME
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:51 PM
How do I have issue's...

Quoting marchantmom06: Sounds like you might have some issues.
UpSheRises
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:53 PM
6 moms liked this
Its bad for you and her.

Co dependency isnt healthy.
cabrandy03
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:55 PM
37 moms liked this
Your not running her. My daughter never stayed with anyone but dh and I until she was almost 2. All sorts of people tried to tell me I was going to make it harder on her by not leaving her with sitters as a baby but guess what? The first time we left her with my mom for a few hours she did great. Shortly after I started taking her to our church daycare for an hour while I went to church on Sundays and once again she did great.
Ignore the nay sayers and follow your instinct. There's no reason you have to leave baby with a sitter at this age :-)
ARIAandME
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:55 PM
How exactly is it bad? I need some incite. This is my first child and idk I think I'm just being over protective.

Quoting UpSheRises: Its bad for you and her.

Co dependency isnt healthy.
ARIAandME
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm glad someone as done it also. She's a very independent child that's why I never really thought about it ya no.

Quoting cabrandy03: Your not running her. My daughter never stayed with anyone but dh and I until she was almost 2. All sorts of people tried to tell me I was going to make it harder on her by not leaving her with sitters as a baby but guess what? The first time we left her with my mom for a few hours she did great. Shortly after I started taking her to our church daycare for an hour while I went to church on Sundays and once again she did great.
Ignore the nay sayers and follow your instinct. There's no reason you have to leave baby with a sitter at this age :-)
bloomsr
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 7:59 PM
6 moms liked this
My kids (2, 4, and 6) have only been away from me for very small amounts of time- especially in the first 2-3 years. My 4 and 6 year old did spend 3 nights at their grandparents after my youngest was born (2 and 4 yrs old at the time). I have a babysitter who watches 1 or 2 of the kids for a few hours every couple of weeks and dh is home w them when I work 5-10 hrs a week and during my Tuesday night yoga class.
My 4 and 6 yr old are outgoing, make friends easily and enjoy kindergarten and pre school. They aren't poorly adjusted and clung to my leg every minute of the day. I like being with them and don't trust them w many people. Some of their grandparents have said that they will spank my kids if they are in their care so they aren't allowed to watch them alone.

In a day and age where children are seen as a burden it's unusual to want to spend time w your kids, I guess. Don't listen to your family. Even if they are saying these comments in a joking manner, don't let it get to you. You're going a great job. That being said, make time for yourself. My 2 hr/week yoga is great. I run errands afterwards and miss the kids bedtime. It's a great break and gives dh a chance to hang alone w our kids:)
ARIAandME
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 8:00 PM
I let my mom watch her while I go out on dates with my SO like I said they my last for less than 4hrs but that's it. Honestly I don't really trust anyone with her.

Quoting greenlove2013: What about your husband or mom? You don't trust your own family?
lilianasmom1116
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 8:00 PM
26 moms liked this
she's barely 1! I don't see how this means you have issues?! trust yourself- you're her MOM! now, when she's 4 and still has not left you at all, then it might be difficult when she starts preschool lol don't worry about it for now...
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