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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

advice on how to get my 2yr old to stop hitting me and other

Posted by on May. 18, 2014 at 7:41 PM
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My daughter turned 2 in February, about a month or so she started hitting me anytime I tell her no or when she gets mad. I have spanked her right when she hits me, I've tried just telling her no hitting and putting her in her chair a few minutes, and I've tried to just ignore her, but nothing seems to help and it's just getting worse and worse every day! I could really use some help and advice on how I can maybe stop her from hitting me
by on May. 18, 2014 at 7:41 PM
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Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on May. 19, 2014 at 2:00 AM
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I would start by not spanking her... mixed messages and all.

Pick one response and stay consistent. If it were me, I would get down on her level, firmly tell her "we don't hit" and walk away. You can also use her hand and have her do gentle touches.

She's 2 so it's just going to take time but consistency is key. Good luck.
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booaura
by Bronze Member on May. 19, 2014 at 7:23 AM
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You hit her, to teach her that hitting is bad? Of course she doesn't understand why she can't hit people when you hit her. Tell her no, firmly, walk away, put her in time out. Consistency is key.
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LuLuRex
by Bronze Member on May. 19, 2014 at 3:08 PM
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I think this is great advice.

My DD went through a brief hitting stage at 2 and I did what this mom suggested. I said "we don't hit" in my most stern voice. I didn't take long for her to catch on.

Quoting Luvmy2babies22: I would start by not spanking her... mixed messages and all. Pick one response and stay consistent. If it were me, I would get down on her level, firmly tell her "we don't hit" and walk away. You can also use her hand and have her do gentle touches. She's 2 so it's just going to take time but consistency is key. Good luck.


Brittany_12
by New Member on May. 19, 2014 at 3:27 PM
Thank y'all but I have tried telling her no and not spanking her, it only makes her worse timeout doesn't work with she will just sit there and scream the whole time and when she stops and I tell her she can get up she hits me again. I've told her no hitting it hurts and she will just laugh. I honestly don't know what else to do, like I said no matter what I try or how consistent I am she just keeps getting worse.
Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on May. 19, 2014 at 4:05 PM
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 you have to remember that she's 2.  she has little to no impulse control so this isn't going to stop in a day.  again, pick 1 way to address it and do it EVERY TIME.  she'll figure it out but you have to be patient and stick with it.  if you try something twice and decide it's not working and move onto something else, she has no ability to learn to predict the consequences for her choices.  this is why consistency is key.  good luck.

also, another thing to really focus on is how you WANT her to behave.  when she reacts appropriately to a situation give her TONS AND TONS of praise... "good job using gentle touches" "good job saying 'please'", etc.  in a calm situation, role play appropriate behavior like a game and get it to become 2nd nature.  things like that.

Quoting Brittany_12: Thank y'all but I have tried telling her no and not spanking her, it only makes her worse timeout doesn't work with she will just sit there and scream the whole time and when she stops and I tell her she can get up she hits me again. I've told her no hitting it hurts and she will just laugh. I honestly don't know what else to do, like I said no matter what I try or how consistent I am she just keeps getting worse.

 

XOXOnBubbles
by Member on May. 19, 2014 at 4:20 PM
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Grab her hand firmly (don't hurt her though) and tell her "No hitting."  Then put her in time out.  With my children we do 1 minute per year of age.  So my 3yr old gets 3 minutes.  We have a chair facing the wall, or have them put their nose in the corner for time out.  They know that I will NOT start the timer until they are done crying/screaming.  The longer they cry or scream, the longer they are in time out.  We then get down on their level, talk about WHY they were in time out, and give them hugs after timer has gone off.  

Also make sure you reinforce WHY we don't hit.  "It is not nice, and it hurts."  

Brittany_12
by New Member on May. 19, 2014 at 4:47 PM
Thank y'all so much I will definitely try that because I count the time she is screaming to and I don't actually put her in the corner I just make her sit down in her chair for a 2 minutes but I'll definitely try the starting her time after she is done throwing her fit. She really gets worse when my boyfriend leaves for work and is gone 21 days at a time and while he is gone her anger is always towards me. Again thank y'all so much for the advice

Quoting XOXOnBubbles:

Grab her hand firmly (don't hurt her though) and tell her "No hitting."  Then put her in time out.  With my children we do 1 minute per year of age.  So my 3yr old gets 3 minutes.  We have a chair facing the wall, or have them put their nose in the corner for time out.  They know that I will NOT start the timer until they are done crying/screaming.  The longer they cry or scream, the longer they are in time out.  We then get down on their level, talk about WHY they were in time out, and give them hugs after timer has gone off.  

Also make sure you reinforce WHY we don't hit.  "It is not nice, and it hurts."  

trfgirl56701
by Member on May. 20, 2014 at 1:07 PM

I did the same thing with my DS when he started hitting. Now I just have to remind him every once in a while that hitting isn't nice and he'll think twice about doing it.

Quoting Luvmy2babies22: I would start by not spanking her... mixed messages and all. Pick one response and stay consistent. If it were me, I would get down on her level, firmly tell her "we don't hit" and walk away. You can also use her hand and have her do gentle touches. She's 2 so it's just going to take time but consistency is key. Good luck.


yellow14
by Member on May. 20, 2014 at 4:12 PM
Agreed

Quoting booaura: You hit her, to teach her that hitting is bad? Of course she doesn't understand why she can't hit people when you hit her. Tell her no, firmly, walk away, put her in time out. Consistency is key.
BigTsMommy
by New Member on May. 26, 2014 at 1:55 AM
Great advice!

Quoting XOXOnBubbles:

Grab her hand firmly (don't hurt her though) and tell her "No hitting."  Then put her in time out.  With my children we do 1 minute per year of age.  So my 3yr old gets 3 minutes.  We have a chair facing the wall, or have them put their nose in the corner for time out.  They know that I will NOT start the timer until they are done crying/screaming.  The longer they cry or scream, the longer they are in time out.  We then get down on their level, talk about WHY they were in time out, and give them hugs after timer has gone off.  

Also make sure you reinforce WHY we don't hit.  "It is not nice, and it hurts."  

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