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Disciplining bf's son

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 8:55 AM
  • 6 Replies
Help! I don't know how to get my b/fs son to listen to me without yelling at him, which I hate doing. He's not that bad in my opinion but I just got into thus argument with my bf and apparently his son is, "walking all over me". My bf said that he wishes I would " handle it so he doesn't have to" I'm not sure why but he just made me so angry. What am I suppose to do?
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 8:55 AM
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Replies (1-6):
MommyRush
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Your bf needs to step up a little n talk with his son. Explain to him that he is to treat you with respect and listen to what is told of him by you. I had the same issues when my husbands brother (11) came to live with us. I had to step up on being more stern with him along with my husband having talks with him. It takes more then once so stay on top of it and good luck chica! Hopefully it will get easier
jmason1009
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 2:59 PM
Thank you. I've never dated a man with a child and I haven't had any yet as well. This is all new to me. If the little one doesn't listen to me at all, should I issue out the discipline (like time out) or tell my bf to? I feel strange disciplining but I think I need to start.
collinsmommy0
by Silver Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 6:38 PM
How old is he?

Maybe do a reward system - if he listens to a direction, he gets a sticker or star or whatever, then after 20 he can play video games or watch TV for 20 minutes.

I highly recommend discussing what you will be doing with your bf beforehand, so you are on the same page and agree with what you are doing. I only do time outs for hitting/pushing, and that's 1 min for every year (my 3 year old gets a 3 minute time out if he hits or pushes). Anything else we can solve other ways - sticker on a reward chart, natural consequences (you won't answer if you are done with dinner, then I say 'dinner will be cleaned up in 2 minutes' then I clean it up if he's not sitting there)

Remember, don't take any behaviors personally or get mad/upset about them, remember that younger kids need help with simple tasks like cleaning up toys (& if he isn't expected to clean them up at moms house, he's not likely to do it at your house), & with a schedule with 2 different houses he may need more compassion & understanding.
jmason1009
by on Jul. 1, 2014 at 8:50 PM
What do you mean by "won't answer if done with dinner" My b/f says his son's mom lets him get away with everything. How can I get him to do what I tell him to do, or not to do. For instance; the other day his son (he is turning 5 this month) threw a squishy ball at me while I was cooking in the kitchen with my back turned. I told him to stop and then bam, he did it again. I know he was playing. We were playing all day up until that point. What would you do in that situation??
Retrokitty
by Bronze Member on Jul. 1, 2014 at 9:06 PM
Take away the ball.

Use natural and logical consequences, not punishments.

Instead of yelling get down to his level, touch him on the shoulder and look into his eyes. Ask him to repeat what you said afterwards.


Quoting jmason1009: What do you mean by "won't answer if done with dinner" My b/f says his son's mom lets him get away with everything. How can I get him to do what I tell him to do, or not to do. For instance; the other day his son (he is turning 5 this month) threw a squishy ball at me while I was cooking in the kitchen with my back turned. I told him to stop and then bam, he did it again. I know he was playing. We were playing all day up until that point. What would you do in that situation??
collinsmommy0
by Silver Member on Jul. 1, 2014 at 11:30 PM
It goes like this in our house: 3 year old -
3 year old gets up from the table and walks away.
Me : are you done with dinner? If yes, go wash your hands!
Him: ignores
Me: okay, you're done then?
Him: ignores
Me: okay, I'm cleaning up your dinner
Him: (meltdown) I'm not doooonnnneeeee!

That's very typical for 3 year olds. I clean it up after he gets down from the table.

I agree with the other poster, put the ball in a time out for a few minutes. Or better yet, ban all balls to outside. Balls are a constant issue if they are inside, IMO.


Quoting jmason1009: What do you mean by "won't answer if done with dinner" My b/f says his son's mom lets him get away with everything. How can I get him to do what I tell him to do, or not to do. For instance; the other day his son (he is turning 5 this month) threw a squishy ball at me while I was cooking in the kitchen with my back turned. I told him to stop and then bam, he did it again. I know he was playing. We were playing all day up until that point. What would you do in that situation??
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